[ERELDixn]

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and we have been through A lot together. After about a year of dating he would tell me that he wanted to marry me but I told him I wasn't sure. Well about a month ago I encouraged him to take on a management position with the company he works for. He had to go to another city for training and while he was there a girl with no car insurance hit him and it totalled his car. Then he started his new job and turns out he hates it he works 24/7 and he is underpaid. I started to complain that I never see him anymore which started more fights. I threatened to move out because I thought that would get his attention instead it backfired. About three weeks ago he was looking for a engagement ring for me but when I told him that I now realize that he is the one for me he hasn't mentioned the ring since! Now he is acting all cocky and weird (because he has power at his new job now). Then I find that he has been talking to this girl at work but he swears that she is just a friend that he is venting to about us. I have ALWAYS been able to trust him and I just don't understand what happaned within a few weeks time. Then we got in a huge fight because I asked him why he doesn't want to get married anymore and he said "let's not ruin a perfect evening" but I couldn't help it. I said some really nasty things to him. So I went to stay at my parents house and I didn't hear from him for two days. Finally I called him and he said "do you want me to move out or do you want to move out" Well I got mad and said "I will move out" and I did and I haven't heard from him since that was four days ago. Is it possible that he will come back? He has always adored me and treated me like a queen and in the past when I wanted to break up he would say "how can you let 2 years go just like that we have been thru so much". When I went to pick up my stuff he was getting ready for work and I asked him if he was sure about this and that I wanted to give it one more try and that he means a lot to me and he started crying saying he just couldn't take it anymore we fight too much and he is under a lot of stress. He even mentioned his mom (who died 5 years ago) which was odd to me he said "this is just like when my mom passed away I had to cut that part out of my heart just to deal with the pain and now I'm having to do this with you. He said "You have no idea how much I love you but I just don't think I can make you happy anymore you need to find a guy that does" I am sooo confused help!

[talaniman]

There is no confusion, as this relationship has been dying for a long time, and its time to bury it forever.

You both have changed.

[ERELDixn]

I never made him first priority and I think that was part of the problem. Why does he cry? But yet act so cold? Last week he asked me if I wanted him to take the day off for my birthday? But he didn't call on my birthday :(. I have never experienced this before and I am having a very very hard time letting him go. Is it at all possible that if I go on with my life and try to get over him that he will come back to me? He told me last month that I was the love of his life!! He said that we needed this drastic change (moving out) yet I haven't heard from him it's like he has sooo much built up anger inside and I can't break through so I figured it's best to leave him alone which I have. Mutual friends are shocked and keep telling me that he will come back he just has a lot on his plate right now.

[Romefalls19]

Because you threatened moving out, using scare tactics like that will almost always back fire. You took a risk and he called you on it and now you aren't liking how it turned out.

The relationship has run its course and now it's time to accept it.

[talaniman]

Your right to leave him alone, and rebuild your life, as when the emotional dust has settled, you will see things clearly for yourself.

[plonak]

Just keep the no contact going.. it hurts I know.. but everyone is right, it seems like the relationship has been over for a while..

Move on and get out there and try new things

[S52911]

Ouch. That is almost my story completely. Your post is almost three years ago. It is unlikely that you will respond but I am wondering how it worked out for you? In my situation my heart hurts too bad to believe we will not work out. As with you, my ex not to long ago declared he would do anything to make us work even if it killed him. Then less than two months later something changed and he said he couldn't take it anymore and needed space, wanted me to move out and for us to break up. He said he wanted to get the feeling back and start it all over with me sometime in the future. That was over a MONTH ago! Im going crazy! I have never been this distrot over a relationship ending. I can't even be mad at him. My friends say mean things you know to try and chear me up and I can not let them in front of me. GR its so much easier to just be mad lol. I honestly think that he will come around and that this time apart will help us in the future. THere is no way someone can show that kind of affection to not feel it. :( until then my heart is breaking. I am doing what I can to think about the relationship and what I can do for myself to make me better and ultimately us better!

[ERELDixn]

OMG I forgot I posted that it's been so long. Reading it now it makes me a little sick to my stomach because I sounded so pathetic. To answer your question he was cheating on me with a girl from his work. Looking back on it now everything worked out for the best. I have a wonderful fiancé now that I have been with for 2 years. I knew right away that he was the one and I had never felt that before. I am so glad me and my ex didn't work things out. My ex ended up with a teenage mooch with no car or job and has already cheated on him so I think I got the last laugh on that one. I firmly believe what goes around comes around! I kept threatening to move out because deep down I wasn't happy with him anymore. He was going nowhere in life and didn't want to buy a house with me etc etc. Now me and my fiancé own a beautiful home and have nice things. I am very happy. My point is if your guy is telling you he wants a break MOVE ON! If someone really cares for you they won't say that crap. Honestly he might even be seeing someone else. What is your gut telling you because my gut was telling me my ex was lying and seeing someone and he was. It might hurt really bad but trust me someone great is out there waiting for you! You just have to suck it up keep yourself busy and get through the pain. My friends and family are what really helped me get through it they were great!! It made it easier because they all disliked my ex but they love my fiancé!! :)

[talaniman]

Thanks for coming back to share that inspiring story.Glad you found the strength to do better for yourself.