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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #101

    Aug 12, 2008, 07:29 AM
    The girl you loved has gone and showed you a side to her that you were blind to. I'll bet the signs were there but you ignored them. Don't let this female bully you. Ignore her.

    Turn off your phone and delete her text.
    Ash123's Avatar
    Ash123 Posts: 1,793, Reputation: 305
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    #102

    Aug 12, 2008, 07:54 AM
    OK.... Imagine if you were married and you rolled over after putting the kids to sleep and working for 10 hours and your wife coolly says: I HATE YOU.

    Scary huh?

    Well, that WOULD have been you. Now you have escaped. She is never going to escape her demons. If she could, her problem solving skills would not be so destructive. The next girl you go out with is going to make you happy to be alive! Let this nut job abuse you and take the pain... I always say if you are not hurting - you are not healing... you can't cheat with texts etc. or your brain can't get to restart... just get a calendar and mark off 90 days. That is a number to get you to the first plateau.

    We'll all be here.
    EasyDoesIt's Avatar
    EasyDoesIt Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #103

    Aug 12, 2008, 09:06 AM
    Thanks for everybody's help... I have decided now that I AM DONE WITH HER!! No more texts and I am ingoring her for now out. If one day she wakes up and realizes it... Tough!
    I tried too hard for too long and I def. didn't deserve that. It's going to be hard because I miss the girl she use to be... I loved that person so much and it hurts knowing I won't get her back... I'll keep everybody updated! I hope I can get through this!
    Thanks
    Ash123's Avatar
    Ash123 Posts: 1,793, Reputation: 305
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    #104

    Aug 12, 2008, 09:51 AM
    It'll suck now.

    It'll not suck later.
    EasyDoesIt's Avatar
    EasyDoesIt Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #105

    Aug 13, 2008, 11:47 AM
    So far I have had NC with her for 2 days. It's very hard cause she keeps txting me asking what I'm doing. Where I"m going and how comes I"m ignoring her...
    I am sooo tempted to talk to her. Cause I do miss her. She said she wants a chance to explain. Should I give her a chance to explain and hear what she has to say?
    She said she doesn't love herself right now... What should I do?
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #106

    Aug 13, 2008, 11:49 AM
    I think you should ask yourself, "How will this benefit me? Will I feel better after this in any way?" then take it from there.

    ... the fact that she doesn't love herself... is not your problem. It's hers.
    Ash123's Avatar
    Ash123 Posts: 1,793, Reputation: 305
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    #107

    Aug 13, 2008, 12:32 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by EasyDoesIt
    Thanks for everybody's help...I have decided now that I AM DONE WITH HER!!! No more texts and I am ingoring her for now out. If one day she wakes up and realizes it...Tough!
    I tried too hard for too long and I def. didn't deserve that. It's gonna be hard because I miss the girl she use to be...I loved that person soo much and it hurts knowing I wont get her back...I'll keep everybody updated! I hope I can get through this!
    Thanks
    Ok, I guess we're ignoring this for now...

    ---------------------------------------

    Well, nothing has changed in a few days.

    But if you can handle that fact then talk to her.
    Just know this: NOTHING HAS CHANGED. And that's why there is NC. So, people can adjust to separate lives and get back on their feet.

    So, is this more about you changing or her?
    Is this just about her wanting you to change?
    Or her need to be happy?
    I just want to make sure I understand.

    Maybe compromise with a short message back that explains that you know she doesn't like herself, and you support her, and are letting her have space because of it-without running to her side will calm you down.. and will make her focus and get her act together.

    My fear is that a free 'hanging-out' session to talk about HER problems is cheating for her and you... UNLESS you just want to be friends. Or things were perfect otherwise.
    EasyDoesIt's Avatar
    EasyDoesIt Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #108

    Aug 15, 2008, 02:41 PM
    Hey Everyone! Just giving you an update... I'm doing pretty well. I have been sleep very well for the past 3 nights. It feels good. I think I came to realize that maybe I didn't love her... Or I loved her, I just wasn't in love with her. I still hear from her friend though.
    I went to visit a past girlfriend that is now a famous actress... I stayed with her a few days.
    My ex kept asking me where I was going, with who, what state when she found out she said "Oh Nice, well I hope you give her what she wants BYE!" and then "Well I hope you have fun with ???. Why don't you make me happy and just F*** her cause I know you want to". Stuff like that... haha, I didn't reply... And Today her friend txt me saying "She asked if I talked to you lately and I saw yeah he's hanging out with her all weekend. She said "Good I hope he leaves me alone and dates her." LOL
    So what's going through her mind? I am doing everything I'm suppose by NC?
    I feel good... Just let me know your opinion. I think she's pissed. Would I be correct?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #109

    Aug 15, 2008, 03:26 PM
    Nobody knows, but does it matter??
    Tiger30's Avatar
    Tiger30 Posts: 41, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #110

    Aug 15, 2008, 04:08 PM
    talaniman... hey... its me tiger30... I dono if you remember but ex girlfriend and I had some problems few months back... we talked, things were good... and moving towards engagement and kids... then soon after those discussions/decisions... she started retrieting... all the while talking bad about me and us to some of her friends and going out more and more... finally she met a guy she liked... confided in him and whatever.. I dono... but that was 6 weeks before she left me... and that was july7th... not to interrupt this thread... but if you could... I have posted again.. on another thread from few months back... could you or someone check it out... I need to talk about certain things... a lot of it I already know... but my heart is slowly trying to follow my mind... but there always things to know so that I can improve myself... I seem to get some good advice here.. even if I don't or didn't use all of it... hope you can read my few posts I left recently and give me some feed back... thanks man!
    angel0772001's Avatar
    angel0772001 Posts: 233, Reputation: 7
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    #111

    Aug 15, 2008, 06:11 PM
    Just move on with your life. You are better off not talking to her
    Ash123's Avatar
    Ash123 Posts: 1,793, Reputation: 305
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    #112

    Aug 15, 2008, 08:29 PM
    Stick a fork in this one... )Ou are done.
    Only ANSWER the question on this page here. Do NOT ASK a question.

    You are NOT logged in.
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #113

    Aug 15, 2008, 08:48 PM
    ... ash... what?
    _lex's Avatar
    _lex Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #114

    Aug 16, 2008, 12:51 AM
    You sound really considerate. Most guys would (probably) give up. You sound like you're trying which is awesome. :)
    EasyDoesIt's Avatar
    EasyDoesIt Posts: 40, Reputation: 1
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    #115

    Aug 16, 2008, 09:54 AM
    I just want to get her help. I am getting better and better each day. It just bothers me she turned into the person she is now. Honestly... is that my fault? I mean, did me not showing her affection now and then turn her into being this cold and wild person?
    hondalay's Avatar
    hondalay Posts: 18, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #116

    Aug 17, 2008, 04:07 PM
    The way I c it.. u didn't hurt her at all.. just make sure you want to be with her also.. because if your just doing it to just to get her back.. not worth it.. and in my experience, she's gone or want someone else.. I wouldn't believe everything she says for e.g she's stressed .

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