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Just Looking · Jul 31, 2010, 01:19 PM

How long until your contract ends? It sounds like it was inevitable that it would end up this way at some point, so better now than later. You would have only become more attached. I don't know where you are, but some ideas:

1. Is there a college nearby where you can take some classes?

2. Find some books to read, either for fun or learning or both.

3. There might not be good public transport, but you have 2 feet - Can you go walking or running? It will blow off steam and give you a chance to think about you.

4. How about starting to look for what you want to do when your contract is over?

5. Personally I love to listen to music and I'm always looking for new videos on the internet. It's a good way to lose yourself for awhile.

6. What are some things you've always wanted to try? New hobbies, new sports, maybe a dance class or exercise class? Even without transportation, there are things you can do in your apartment. Have you ever tried Pilates? You will be amazed at the improvements it will make to your shape and your disposition. For that matter, why not try something like yoga or meditation? Both are good for relieving stress and can easily be done at home.

Those are just a few ideas - there are 100's of things you can do.

Kitkat22 · Jul 31, 2010, 01:24 PM

Exercise is good , not only for the body, it's proven that endorphins make you feel better.

Start reading books on how to improve yourself esteem. You don't need a man to validate you.
When the right one does come
Along, be a lady.

Just Looking · Jul 31, 2010, 02:15 PM

While making lunch, I thought of another idea. I love to look up and make new recipes. Do you have any interest in cooking? This can be beneficial on many levels. I like to eat in a healthy way for the most part, which just makes you feel better. You have more energy and get a certain glow about you. It's also something fun to talk about with other people, especially those that also love to cook. Something to think about when you meet new men in the future - I've never met a man who doesn't appreciate a good cook. :)

Are there people at your work that you can become friends with? You might even invite them over for dinner or make something to take into work.

One of the best ways to forget a man is to keep your mind busy and learn something new.

Kitkat22 · Jul 31, 2010, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by Just Looking

While making lunch, I thought of another idea. I love to look up and make new recipes. Do you have any interest in cooking? This can be beneficial on many levels. I like to eat in a healthy way for the most part, which just makes you feel better. You have more energy and get a certain glow about you. It's also something fun to talk about with other people, especially those that also love to cook. Something to think about when you meet new men in the future - I've never met a man who doesn't appreciate a good cook. :)

Are there people at your work that you can become friends with? You might even invite them over for dinner or make something to take into work.

One of the best ways to forget a man is to keep your mind busy and learn something new.

Great Idea!:)

tinkerbellbabes · Aug 1, 2010, 09:26 PM

Hi, I've just been into a nasty break up with a guy who never really cared for me except he just wanted me for sex. I'm trying to survive one day at a time... and practicing the no contact rule... however, what worries me is that the guy is just around the corner... I don't know how to react when I see him especially if he is with another girl or group of common friends. What is the best approach? Should I be friendly or aloof? Do I need to say any nasty things to him? I want to feel good after I see him and not to dwell on self pity again and let him control me... please advice... thanks

Wondergirl · Aug 1, 2010, 09:34 PM

Don't be friendly or aloof. He is now a stranger. Treat him like you don't know him. Don't talk to him, and don't answer if he talks first. He is invisible to you.

If you have any involvement with him at all, you are allowing him to be in control again.

tinkerbellbabes · Aug 2, 2010, 12:30 AM

What if he is with common friends? Our relationship was kept secret from other people and his friends are already asking why I'm not going out with them anymore. And I just don't know how to react if he is with friends... should I ignore him?

Starry nights · Aug 2, 2010, 02:59 AM

Wondergirl is right.Treat him like he doesn't make a difference to you,saying a hello or smiling also should be very impersonal and formal.Like you would any stranger.

The other day I came across one of my exes at a party--same case like yours,wanted me for sex only.Broke my heart bad.

I didn't expect him there and wasn't even prepared.But I was surprised at the way I felt and reacted.a)There was no feeling in me on seeing him.None of the old feelings,no clap of thunder/flash of lightning/gust of wind as in the movies:),which also helped.It may be too soon for you to get to that point though where you've got over your feelings really well.

b)I found myself being very cool,collected and formal.Thank heavens he got the hint and didn't even try coming near me once.That might work for you.If you are so formal,he might just not want to be snubbed and leave you alone.

Whatever he is/does,always hold your head high,never lose your composure and maintain your grace and dignity.

tinkerbellbabes · Aug 2, 2010, 03:27 AM

How did you feel when he didn't approached u? Did it hurt? I'm scared really... ive just been out and every time I see a red car I would really look... a part of me want to see him but I'm scared how to react... I kept on playing on my mind what to do...

Starry nights · Aug 2, 2010, 03:47 AM

Like I said,there was zero feeling.Thanks to a great support system and my own learning and growing,I get over smoothly in the end:)

But mine was long back.Give yourself time,am sure you will reach that stage of cool indifference too.But till that happens,practise being cool and composed.Use every ounce of willpower and strength to appear strong,composed and in control even though you are scared,broken and hurting inside.

Do this only to feel the satisfaction of not losing control in front of him and not giving him any control,which I am sure he wouldn't like.And then one day you will realise that faking it has taught you to become perfect in this whole retaining-control business and that's the day you know you have finally moved on.Help yourself,see yourself through this with all your heart and you'll do fine.

tinkerbellbabes · Aug 3, 2010, 05:27 AM

Thanks, I wish I can do that.. in mind I've been imagining myself doing that but I know I cant.. I just heard he was back to tennis and I feel awful and regretting breaking up with him as he has moved on easily and I don't... its crazy and hate this...