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Torrid13 · Jul 17, 2009, 08:45 PM

Okay, so I'm back from our errand-running.

It was really great! We laughed a lot and there were no awkward silences. We seemed to connect extremely well!

He started talking about relationships, about how he wants to be in a relationship where he and her both have room to breathe so they don't neglect their friends and other aspects of their lives. I completely agreed, and as we talked about relationships, he agreed sincerely with points I had.

As we talked about mistakes we've made in the past (neglecting friends, being too clingy, whatever) that we don't want to make again, and I mentioned that I wished my last boyfriend would have stood up for me more and would have fought for me. He replied, "Yeah, I'm definitely a fighter."

But before this, he was talking about how a lot of college guys don't like being tied down because it subconsciously causes them to alienate themselves from things that are important to them. He went on to say that if there was a nice girl that he liked to hang out with, he would date her, but it wouldn't be extremely serious because people change in college.

Like I said, we connected really well, and he asked me to come over to his house sometime to watch a movie while on the way to do errands, but I'm afraid he was telling me he wasn't interested. I'm not sure.

In any case, I really respect him and the opinions he shared with me on various topics.

Do you think he was telling me he wasn't interested in a relationship? I'm not sure how to look at this.

talaniman · Jul 18, 2009, 09:33 AM

He is telling you he is interested in you, but don't get to deeply emotionally involved, because he has other interests too. Understandable. He may be dating/hang out material, but for now forget exclusive relationships, that too, is understandable.

Its much to soon for even thinking that way, so keep a reasonable distance, to protect yourself from falling to fast into that relationship trap. Have fun getting to know him, YES! Fantasize about more, NO!!

Survivor07 · Jul 18, 2009, 09:40 AM

I think he is interested in you and he sounds like he's got his head on straight, because people do change in college and they should. There's a lot of growing and learning to be done.

This sounds like the beginning of a "relationship" whether it's friendship or romantic... time will tell.

Being in a serious, exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship might not be what this guy has in mind. He may just want to enjoy college and all that it has to offer without the drama of a girlfriend nagging him not to go out with his friends so much, etc.

I think it all sounds like good fun so just enjoy this time without overanalyzing what he's thinking. Men and women at this age can change their minds overnight on how they view relationships.

Torrid13 · Jul 18, 2009, 09:57 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

He is telling you he is interested in you, but don't get to deeply emotionally involved, because he has other interests too. Understandable. He may be dating/hang out material, but for now forget exclusive relationships, that too, is understandable.

Its much to soon for even thinking that way, so keep a reasonable distance, to protect yourself from falling to fast into that relationship trap. Have fun getting to know him, YES! Fantasize about more, NO!!!

You're straightforward and blunt! Me likey! :)

I'm actually quite enjoying getting to know him better: it's refreshing since my past relationships were really rushed. Not saying we're going to ever date, but I think you get me.

I'm really doing well, I think! I've successfully been carrying on with a life outside of him, and that makes me feel really great and accomplished, especially because I had clingy issues in the past.

He just called and invited me to see Harry Potter with some friends, and told me I'm sitting by him. Haha. This is fun. :)

Thank you for your wonderful answer: it keeps me focused!

Torrid13 · Jul 18, 2009, 10:03 AM

Originally Posted by Survivor07

I think he is interested in you and he sounds like he's got his head on straight, because people do change in college and they should. There's a lot of growing and learning to be done.

This sounds like the beginning of a "relationship" whether it's friendship or romantic...time will tell.

Being in a serious, exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship might not be what this guy has in mind. He may just want to enjoy college and all that it has to offer without the drama of a girlfriend nagging him not to go out with his friends so much, etc.

I think it all sounds like good fun so just enjoy this time without overanalyzing what he's thinking. Men and women at this age can change their minds overnight on how they view relationships.

He does have his head on straight: I'm truly impressed. He knows where he wants to go in life and is willing to work hard to get there. I think that's great, because a lot of people in college don't have any idea!

You're absolutely right: I just need to enjoy this time and have fun getting to know him... and I have to admit, it IS fun! I have a lot of guy friends, but I never really hung out with them alone and got to know them... it was always with friends. But this is really interesting and entertaining.

I don't want a really serious relationship, anyway. We're too young to be able to commit like graduated people are. If we date casually, that's cool, and if we stay friends, that's fine, too.

Survivor07 · Jul 18, 2009, 10:09 AM

Sounds like you have your head on straight, too! Getting out there and meeting new people is fun, enjoyable and you can learn about yourself that way.

Variety is the spice of life... : ) Have fun

Torrid13 · Jul 18, 2009, 10:22 AM

Thank you very much!

And you're right, I am learning about myself. A LOT about myself. It's a little frightening! XD

Torrid13 · Jul 19, 2009, 12:21 PM

Just updating; I don't expect anyone to answer if they don't want to!

We went and saw Harry Potter last night (which was amazing! My favorite HP movie ever!) and yes, he did sit by me. We joked and laughed, he gave me his jacket when I was cold, touched me repeatedly (hair, shoulders, put his arm on mine), and we linked arms during the movie, too! :D

It was just a great night of him giving me a lot of attention and hugs. I liked it. Haha. >:3

Slowly but surely, and you'll win the race! :)

artlady · Jul 19, 2009, 12:31 PM

Hay,great news and thanks for the update!
It sounds like things are progressing at a good rate,not too fast and not too slow.
Have fun :)

sully123 · Jul 19, 2009, 12:38 PM

Sounds good, and your on the right track. Enjoy the time you spend together...

Torrid13 · Jul 26, 2009, 06:22 PM

Well guys, it looks like our good time has come to an end.

Me and one of my friends got into an argument last Tuesday, and it went from her accusing me of things concerning my medical issues, to my religion, to the boy that this thread is about.

My friend dated this guy 4 times (she kept breaking up with him). They broke up the last time over 2 years ago, and she's been dating her current boyfriend for almost 2 years.

Well, in the beginning, she was telling me how happy she was since this is the first guy I've been interested in since my ex broke up with me over 4 months ago. She was helping me get to know some about him, etc.

During the fight, she tells me that he's not a good match for me and that he just wants to sleep with me and doesn't care about relationships (to which I said to her, "Oh, is that what stopped you from dating him 4 times?"). As you can imagine, I wasn't a happy camper.

The next day after our fight, she went with another one of our friends and saw him at work. He asked her where I was, and she told him I don't like him and I didn't want to go see him. Later that night she gloated about visiting him on her FB.

I've tried talking to him since I found out... but we only got to talk 2 minutes online, and then he said he's been really busy so he'd have to go. He said he would talk to me later, but he hasn't been. We haven't talked in a while.

I'm angry as all get out. My "friend" is a whore. What a moron. She's told me before she's jealous of me, but I didn't really think it would lead to anything. Me and my friend haven't talked since.

So yes, me and the boy are done. I'm not even sure if we're friends anymore.

There are plenty of fish in the sea, I know, but I think I'm most mad because not only did I lose a potential boyfriend, but a good friend in general. I'm not so upset we probably won't date, because college starts up again in like 3 weeks, but it erks me my "friend" did something so mean.

Gah. Oh well. I like being single anyway.

friend4u178 · Jul 26, 2009, 06:33 PM

Originally Posted by Torrid13

Gah. Oh well. I like being single anyway.

Better to be happily single than in a dysfunctional relationship :)

Torrid13 · Jul 26, 2009, 06:40 PM

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Better to be happily single than in a dysfunctional relationship :)

The more I think about it, the more I think it was for the best.

I was able to spot a bad friend's true colors, and the guy, I've noticed, is a raging workaholic. I doubt he would have set aside extra time for me, anyway. He's missing out, but that's his problem, not mine.

Besides, although I'm pretty much over my ex, I think it might be a little too soon for me to get into another relationship right now. Plus, I just transferred to a new college, so I think it would be best for me to find friends first before a boyfriend, which would limit my options.

So all in all, life's good. :)

friend4u178 · Jul 26, 2009, 06:44 PM

Good for you Torrid :)

Besides isn't AMHD your new boyfriend ;)

Survivor07 · Jul 26, 2009, 06:46 PM

Sorry to hear about all this, but you know what they say, with friends like that, who needs enemies. And, my first thought about him was, why didn't he just talk to you about what your "friend" said.

All in all, you tested the waters.

You're smart, you're going to be fine.

Torrid13 · Jul 26, 2009, 06:52 PM

Oh, Friend, you certainly know how to make me blush! :3

Thank you, Survivor. I thought the same thing, too. But I think it's kind of telling of how he is as a person, anyway.

Yessirree, I tested the waters and got stung by a jellyfish. Luckily, I have AMHD to pee on me during such times! XD

Survivor07 · Jul 26, 2009, 06:54 PM

Originally Posted by Torrid13

Oh, Friend, you certainly know how to make me blush! :3

Thank you, Survivor. I thought the exact same thing, too. But I think it's kind of telling of how he is as a person, anyway.

Yessirree, I tested the waters and got stung by a jellyfish. Luckily, I have AMHD to pee on me during such times! xD

LOL... I love it

Torrid13 · Jul 27, 2009, 09:03 PM

My horrible friend spent the whole day with the guy.

The guy that to her is the anti-christ.

I am so angry. I'm not sure why. I'm just so angry. I don't cry very often, but I'm so angry I just want to cry. I don't understand why I feel this way.

He never meant anything to her until she found out I liked him, and suddenly she has to do everything in her power to make sure him and me don't happen. And then she GLOATS about it. SHE GLOATS ABOUT SPENDING TIME WITH HIM WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE.

I'm sorry. I don't understand why I'm so angry.

friend4u178 · Jul 27, 2009, 09:10 PM

It's just normal Torri , your Ego/self esteem has just taken a little hit that's all. Soon you won't even care about it.

Chin Up :)

Torrid13 · Jul 27, 2009, 09:17 PM

I'm pretty, extremely talented, horrendously smart, and accomplished more in one year of high school than she did her entire high school career! AHHHHH!!

I'm funny, I'm athletic, I'm kind, I'm a good friend...

It's just not fair. I'm so tired of being pushed off to the side, and being backstabbed when I'm there for people. My ex's have done it, my friends have done it...

I know life isn't fair, and I'm not in some dream world about how the world works, but you know, it would be really nice to be appreciated. I'm so sick of this.