[Baby-_-Girl-_-19]

All right so more from my other question... cause alots happened...
He started plyaing with my mind big time... he kissed me... and I mean kissed tongue and all for like 5 min. straight... and then nothing the next day... one of my friends talked to him... agains my request... and my ex admitted to that and then he said but there's no way in hell he'd think about dating me again... and then we talk and we flirt (I know that no contacts best but there's no way to ignore him small town same church... ya know the drill) and we've been passing notes and he said that he could go for friends with benefits... but not in the way you'd normally think he said cuddling... I said OK... I figure that he already knows how I feel... but we're trying to be friends... and for now that's what we've both decided on... everytime we get around each other either we're fighting or cuddling and flirting. And then he threw me off because he said that it may or may not lead to a relationship... im not really sure... I miss cuddling with him... I can handle being just friends but I don't know... need opinions... yes I know I'm crazy... and I deserve to be played by him... already noted...

[elena3117]

Honey we have a lot in common! Recently I have pretty much the same experience! To moy opinion what you should do is give him some space.. Do not call him, be a little aloof when you meet him and act like you never were interested on him. If he continue to 'ignore' you then good for you cause he doen't worth attention If opposite then congratulations you made him notice you! I hope my advice will be helpful!

[Baby-_-Girl-_-19]

See he doesn't ignore me... he gives me a lot of attention... and all that... I never start the conversation... he does... and like I said usually when it comes to friends with benefits I'm against it because they just want sex... but he wants to cuddle and I believe him because we always cuddle even before... and he's a sweetheart today I was cold didn't say anything to him and he gave me his coat... I mean at first he did and now he's like how my best guy friends are... practicaly attatched at my hip except he flirts with me...

[lavenderly]

From what u posted, I can't be sure what u really want out of this relationship/friendship. Do u want the connection u are having with him now to bud into a real relationship? Or do u want to be just his FWB (friend with benefits)?

If u want a real relationship, stop being his cuddle-mate. A man who cannot make up his mind whether he wants to commit himself, is a confused person and perhaps has commitment phobia. He wants to have his piece of cake and eating it!

From the guy's point of view, he is having everything. A lady who drools over him, she does not pressure him for a relationship, he can still play the field when another woman comes along, and meanwhile he enjoys those cuddling moments. Ahhh... life is such bliss.But at your expense, of course.

If it is just FWB that u want, then u have got what u wanted. Stay that way and ask no more questions.

[Baby-_-Girl-_-19]

See what I don't understand is I don't drool over him... not to his knowledge... I treat him like crap... as a nice way of putting it... see... the thing is, he came over this morning we walked to school through the school, he delibratly took the long way, and down the ramp to the library, holding my hand...

Me and him have dated before, for like 6 months its not commitment, part of me wonders if he's trying to warm his friend up to the idea of me and him dating again... his friends have issues with him being in a relationship where the girl is solely focused on that guy, not cheating or treating him bad... basically his friend is misreble and likes the company... so he causes friction... it has nothing to do with me personally really... I mean in a way it does... if you've read some of my other posts... but... anyways...

As for him finding another woman that confuses me... I know girls who would date him in a heartbeat, and he knows it too... but for some reason... he doest...

For the reason I doing this is more that I have to know how things will play out between him and I... despite the pain it might cause... I need closure... and if I keep trying to gain the adrinaline to numb out, the wreckless stunts I've been pulling are going to escalate to extremely dangerous...

I don't know... its like he holds me and acts like we're togather... except at school... but even then its give me his coat give me a zillion hugs... but... idk... can't tell what he's thinking...

[N0help4u]

Be his friend but when he wants to cuddle push away and say it is too hard for you because you are starting to want a real relationship -as in long term relationship. If he doesn't want that he will run. Like Lavenderly said he wants his cake and eat it too so that he can walk away when someone else comes along.
Unless you just want to string each other along.

[lavenderly]

Before I started dating my current 3-year boyfriend, he acted the way you said your guy did. He would treat me very nice and acted as if I am his girlfriend already. He buys me things, always come over and share his company with me, we even kissed and cuddled.

I was in that confused state that you were in. Unfortunately, I did not know what to do about it. Or perhaps I know, but I did not want to risk losing him, so I did not do what I was supposed to do. It was after 1.5 years later that I gave him the ultimatum. This was what I said exactly:

"Are we in a serious relationship? I do not want to treat a man so well and only to realize that he is not treating me seriously. It is unfair for me to shun away all other men to be with a man that does not want me enough to keep me. Are u ready to commit? If not, we should not be cuddling. Period"

When I said that, I was so nervous and afraid that he would finally say it's over and he cannot commit. But then again, if he said that, at least I do not need to live in confusion anymore. I will also not look back at my life and regret why I did not clear things up with him. Now, I am glad I took that step because he has since told me he loves me to bits. But he did mention that he was stringing along last time because he would not say he loves me. He just did not know how he felt. He wanted to know more gals, yet he was reluctant to let go of me.

So... good luck. I hope you hv the courage to speak up and talk face-to-face with him on this issue.