[cyntposk]

OK, I don't even know where to get started, but I will try to explain it the best I am capable of. I have been with my boyfriend for 11 months now. The relationship that I am in, is my first love I've ever experienced. I have dated other guys, but it was nothing and only lasted a week or two. I am 17 yrs old, and he just recently turned 18. The past 3 months of our relationship has been nothing but hell. I am very embarrest to say that I had gotten addicted to crack cocaine, as well as he did also. The family that my boyfriend comes from, most of them are entangled in the world of drugs, where my family is not. So right there my parents despise him. The other thing is I come from a wealthy family, and he is the opposite. To me I couldn't care less, but my dad (parents are divorced) on the other hand, is being cruel about his family background. Anyway, the relationship that I have seemed to get myself into, I cannot get out of and I feel as if I am trapped. Like there is no way out. He is verbally, and physically abusive. When he drinks, it gets worse, and that's another reason why my parents want to kill him, especially my dad. Also, a little bit over 2 months ago, I checked myself into a 3 month rehab for drugs (crack) and was in there for 2 months. The day I left home (8 hrs away from home) I was not able to call him or let him know what was going on, my mom sort of just took me, and cut off all means of communication with him especially and anyone else. He found out a short bit after, once I was able to sneak a phone call to him in rehab. I am proud to say that I am now a little bit over 2 months clean. During the time I was in rehab, he agreed to me that he would go check himself into rehab, 2 hours away from home. Hearing that, my stress level dropped to an extreme amount. But after only 4 days of him being in rehab, he checked himself out and went back home. That put a huge turn on my recovery. But I stuck it out, and stayed. When after 2 1/2 months I decided to leave, and that I was ready, but going home was not an option since my mom made me believe that my boyfriend was smoking crack when I was in rehab, and that shed seen him all cracked out. Now I am living with my sister who is 23 and her boyfriend (9 hrs from home) I know absolutely no one here, have no friends. Since I've been trying to get my new life back on track, I have been ""secretly"" calling my bf back home, and talking to him if not once, twice a day on the phone. I can honestly say that, I do not believe that he is smoking crack. I know from experience that if ur smoking crack, you could give a about other people, including ur gf. all u think about is crack, and how ur going to get your next fix. Also, his mom does not use drugs, and it is strongly not allowed in his house. So with saying that, everytime he would call me or i would call him, he would be at home. .. . So basically my mom was lying to me about him continuing the crack use.

ok here is one of my MANY problems:::

today it is the 28th of november and I just recently about 2 weeks ago, got a job with my sister. The job I was given, is a one in a lifetime opportunity, I am making $21.00 an hour and $31.00 overtime, for being seventeen, and work 12 days on and 4 off. So anyways on Dec. 21st I am taking a plane back home to spend 3 weeks there with my family for christmas. However, my bf knows this, and is pressuring me like crazy to stay home when i get there and not come bakc here. but my family has done so much and put so much money on the line for me, to work here, start my correspondence classes, plane tickets, and so on. My told me that if I go back and live with my ssister for 6 months minimum and give it a try at least then she will 100% support me then if i decide to come back home. But I dont want to loose my bf, and Itt is already killing me and ive been away from him for almost 3 months now.

so here are my options:
1) go home for x-mas but come back after 3 weeks. and live far from home and my bf for 6 months. or till whatever time, and be totally miserable and upset:confused:

2)go home for x-mas and stay home. but if i do this, then my mom told me that i am not welcome at her house and my dad said the same thing. so i have no clue where i am going to live, im not welcome at his house.

PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME. O YAH AND MY BF, HAS WAYS OF FINDING OUT WHO IS SMOKING CRACK IN OUT TOWN, SINCE ITS SO SMALL, AND HE JUST ABOUT 4 DAYS AGO TOLD ME THAT MY MOM AND HER "BF" :( WERE SMOKING CRACK.. AGAIN. (HAD PROBLEM WITH IT BEFORE) BUT THIS IS A WHOLE OTHER STORY.. . SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME OUT, I Don't KNOW WHAT TO DO, AND I HAVE TO DECIDE BY THE 20TH OF DECEMBER :confused: :confused: :confused:

[lilred40]

OMG girl! Get out of that relationship!!

Sorry, I hit the wrong button...
Anyway, you are way to young to be in this type of a relationship! A man isn't a man if he has to beat a woman into submission (physically and mentally). You sound like you have a good opportunity with that new job with your sister. You already have proven to yourself that you can get what you want. You don't need some low-life piece of garbage holding you back. Sorry for being so blunt. It's my motherly instinct coming out. :) You can get help for your crack addiction, you just need to say "I need help". That's your first step to recovery kiddo. Again, motherly instinct coming out... I'm quite sure your parents' don't want to get that "call" in the middle of the night saying... can you come and identify this young woman?" Please re-evaluate your life kiddo!

[thereisno4evr]

Get right out of the relationship, stop with the phone calls just cut him out of your life.
If a man is physically or mentally abusing you then have to leave the relationship asap. As it is a danger to you physical and mental health. It will be hard to end your relationship with him as he is your first love but it is something that has to be done. Just remember life will go on without him.

It is highly likley that he is still on crack. For as you would no it is NOT an easy addiction to kick, 4 days of rehab will have done little to nothing to help "cure" him from this addiction. You said it yourself all crack addicts think about is how to get there next fix. Ontop of that going back into a situation where crack is available will make it much harder for you to stay clean.

You have a good job opportunity lined up. Don't throw it away for your boyfriend. Take the job go back and live with your sister, stop contact with this guy, start your life fresh without him. Just remember you will meet another guy that you will love as much as your current boyfriend.