[piko04]

So my boyfriend and I broke up about a two months ago. This is our second time breaking up and just happened to be for the same reason- he's unhappy and stressed out. Basically he was stressed out with things that are going on with his life... which ultimatley made him unhappy but he figured it was because of me and our relationship and then he did what every guy does... became distant... (I guess you could say this is a speculation but after thinking about it for a while this is the best conclusion I could think of) YES we fought a lot during those times... but who doesn't? I got over things fast and I guess he just didn't, and the stress didn't help the situation either. Anyway, the first time he dumped me (and I was aboslutely crushed and kept calling him and begged him to take me back) and the second time I did it for him and he was relieved. So essentially I was dumped twice. He came back to me the first time because he realized he still loved me and told me instead of running away from our problems he would come to me and we'd fix it togheter. (for those of you who are reading this and want to get an ex back.. begging does NOT help, he didn't come back until I gave him space to figure things out) After that breakup we decided we were meant to be and we would never break up. He gave me a promise ring and he pinned me (those of you who were in the greek system you know what that means... it just means he's planning on asking me to marry him.. kind of like the promise ring but he announced it to his fraternity) I guess I'm sort of assuming that we're broken up for the same reason as the first because both times have been around very stressful times for him (1st time he failed a class and there was a chance he wasn't going to graduate college in time which was important for him and 2nd time he started his dream job but realized it wasn't at all what he wanted and wasn't making as much money as he thought he was going to) I have a feeling he didn't break up with me the second time around (but wanted to) because he promised me we were going to be together and he wasn't ever going to break up with me, he's a nice guy like that lol. Like I said before, I did the breaking up and he didn't protest. He was really distant and was annoyed with everything I did, he probably didn't feel the same for me anymore. I still love him to death but I am giving him space to figure things out and also so that I could move on and live my own life without grieving. I want him to be happy and if that is without me that is fine. (maybe we're just not meant to be) It hurts of course, I'm not over him, but I don't need to be in a relationship with him to be happy.

I'm having a great summer as a single girl. Its sort of eerie how well I'm doing despite the breakup (especially since we dated for 2 years). I'm going out a lot with friends, meeting tons of people, dating casually, and just living my life doing what makes me happy. He has not called at all but said happy birthday to me on AIM (thats it, no convo) on my birthday (which was a week after the breakup). I actually contacted him once to let him know that I need my things that I left at his place. I even told him to leave it at the office of my apt building so that he knew that he didn't have to see me because I'm sure he would feel awkward around me. Its been 3 weeks and I still haven't gotten my things which include my extra set of car keys which is pretty important to give back lol. Basically everything he's doing (or not doing) makes me think he has moved on and wants nothing to do with me. Which is fine! Here's where the question comes in... I don't really need advice because I'm going to continue doing my own thing and I want to let him reach out to me when he's ready, just your thoughts in general would be appreciated. Anyway, I noticed his away message on Facebook one night- he quoted OUR song, the song that made us realize we loved each other... the song we were going to dance to at our wedding... the song we first sang together (we're both singers). He also quoted the most romantic part of it. And it was his away message (or status) for a week. Do you think he was quoting it with me in mind or just because it's a pretty song? Are guys able to just do that without realizing the meaning of songs? He also has one of those features in his phone where when you call him, instead of a ringing tone you hear a song (I think it's a verizon thing) his song just happens to be another song that was important to us while we were dating. He told me it reminded him of us. It basically captures the story of our relationship -about a boy from a small town and a girl from the city and how he's amazed that a girl like me would fall for a guy like him (so corny but cute :-)). So again... why would he pick this particular song while we're broken up (it was a different ring when we were dating)? I know I know, I'm being SUCH a girl about this and maybe reading a little too much into it. I don't know... what do you think? I would really like to hear from the guys because I know us girls take these little things too seriously. I don't want or need to get back with him (at least not now) because 2 months is just not enough time to figure things out. But it would be nice to know if he does still have feelings for me because obviously I still love him. When I saw those things I got confused because I really thought he was over me. You think he's realizing AGAIN that he has made a mistake... AGAIN? This is just for sh*ts and giggles so be brutally honest. If I'm being stupid please let me know! Haha thanks guys... and sorry for the long post :-/

[stilllearning]

For me they are. Fields of gold by sting makes my cry every time since we have been broken up. Im mean really deep crying. Its terrible.

[MissingHim2Much]

I'm a girl but I think he's totally thinking of you if he's playing those songs that meant so much to you both. I know my ex boyfriend had songs that he said reminded him of how special our love was.. So I really think men have those feeling about songs also

[rkim291968]

I am a man and I have a lot of "special" songs which mean a lot to me. In fact, I have a memorable song for just about every emotion, and occasion.

[lmnotok]

I think you just let yourself think its just a pretty song, isn't it easier? If he wants something he would have said it, instead of stucking around

[SAB123]

I am a man too and like rkim I can here a certain song and remember what we did and where we were at when I here that song now. But Faithfully by Journey was supposed to be our wedding song.

[Jiser]

Didn't read what you wrote but yes songs are very meaningful to me and I am a bloke. Couldn't live without music! You may find some men are more emotional than you think. Women often have that support network blokes don't, a lot of men are bought up in that stereotypical way of thinking - Macho man, you must not cry etc.

[rkim291968]

You may find some men are more emotional than you think.

I can cry while listening to a song. My wife can't. Instead, she sees sad soap opera and cries while I don't. :confused: