[DrJ]

Well, I am a bit of a nutjob ;) and allow me to apologize. I did not mean to suggest that anyone's feelings were necessarily "sexual". The word "sexual" only comes into play because of the name... but not by definition. I was, in fact, trying to propose the opposite. That those feelings are what would categorize her and so many other women as "bisexual".

And I, in NO WAY, mean to say that bisexuality is defined in that online medical dictionary. That says that it is one who engages in sexual relations with both the opposite and same sex AND/OR "an individual who was born with gonadal tissue of both sexes (that, both testicular and ovarian tissue). Also termed a true hermaphrodite." LOL

It cannot be defined by the simple sexual act with the opposite and same sex. The act alone cannot define ones sexual nature. It comes from the feelings. Homosexual men that do not participate in sexual acts between each other are still homosexual men.

Can't we all just have a group hug :) I don't mean to offend ;)



EDIT:

I love you Ruby

I love you too shattered. MWAH.

AHHA!! I knew it!!

[DrJ]

Raynefreak disagrees: I'm a women. I'm NOT bi. I'd rather die then have sex with a girl. I want men and sex with men not women. Your comment was retarded.

A perfect example of social "brainwashing" regarding beliefs of bisexuality

[RubyPitbull]

Dr J, you aren't offending me. You want a group hug? Would that be construed as having bi-sexual overtones, by your definition, if we all did that?

Ah D.J. I knew you would jump on that chance to make a comment about our exchange of mutual affection. You are such an easy mark. :p

I agree that bisexuality is not just defined by sexual intercourse. To me it includes feelings, thoughts, and impulses of a sexual nature. Now, do you believe that shattered & my little exchange above constitutes bi-sexuality? I am just trying to understand where we are not seeing eye to eye. Are you saying that doing what we did would make us bi-sexual by your definition? Because I don't get that is what you are saying. I am getting that you are agreeing that it revolves around a sexual thought or impulse and goes through the gamut up to sexual contact. Which I don't disagree with. All I am saying is that sexual thoughts don't enter my mind when I look at women. I don't think of them as sexually enticing. When I give a friend a kiss on the cheek as a hello, it is simply a hello. I don't think that constitutes bi-sexuality. Am I missing something? Or do you agree and you just want your theory to stand that all women are bi-sexual by the mere fact that they are women?

[shatteredsoul]

Dr J, I can tell you feel obligated to justify and explain your perspective to us. I understand it, I just don't agree with it. Maybe there is always more than one way of looking at something. Some things in life cannot be explained by a dictionary or a simple definition. I look beyond words or a specific diagnosis and I see more. IT isn't wrong, its just different. You want us to know you are qualified and have experience, o.k. but that isn't really important to me. Your opinion is valid just because you believe it, I don't have to see your credentials for you to be worthy. I am sure that it isn't easy to get some of the things I say and you don't know me or my life experiences to understand why I view things the way I do. I don't think affection or attraction always has to be sexual in nature. Maybe to you it does. The reason I told Ruby I love her is because she has come to my rescue more than once on here. She has the perfect picture under her name, because she defends and helps those in need. If you have read any of my posts under bereavement, maybe you would understand why she is so special and important. She put into words exactly what I was feeling and made my opinions seem more appropriate than I did. She gets me. That connection is not sexual, it is pure admiration and love for someone who reaches out and helps you for no reward but their own satisfaction in being compassionate. I have no problem with a group hug, or a more comfortable hand shake, whatever floats your boat. So let's just leave it on an appropriate note. Peace

[shatteredsoul]

OK Talaniman- HUGS!!

[Ash123]

Indeed, see what a little girl-on-girl lovin' can do to all of us...

Makes things a little... charged :-)

[shatteredsoul]

Like a bolt of electricity!! This is only in words, imagine the beauty in real life with the connection of women and people in general!

[DrJ]

OK hold on now... that comment above about the two of you girls was totally light and in good fun. Im NOT trying to use that to my advantage here... c'mon ;)

I am getting that you are agreeing that it revolves around a sexual thought or impulse and goes through the gamut up to sexual contact.

I suppose I am saying that yes, it COULD.. but by nature, it does not have to at all. It is one thing to notice that someone/something is "attractive"... but it is something else to actually be "attracted" to it (whether it be sexually or not).

Ok, there are these two very sweet elderly ladies that I know. They were heterosexual their whole lives. Both of their husbands had died and now they live together... they love each other... they sleep in the same bed... they do EVERYTHING together... but they don't do anything "sexually" (at least not that they admit to). Would you consider them bisexual? I would.

What if it were two men in the same situation?

If your 8 year old daughter was holding hands with her 8 year old girl friend, that would be okay...

What if it was your 8 year old son and his boy friend?

If you found two teenage girls showering together... what would you think?

What if you found two teenage boys showering together?

In college if two girls get drunk and "fool around" they may not be considered bisexual but just having a good time in college.

But what if it were two men in college?

To me, its just in the nature of a woman to be this way... I don't even want to use the word "bi-sexual" anymore because of the negative connotations it seems to have. But there is an obvious difference between the male and female species in this respect... an attraction to the same sex. Does a lot of it have to do with social attitude? Im sure it does... but even if we stripped that away, do you think it would really change that much?

Really, I'm not trying to change anyone's mind here :) its all just in good fun and open discussion. Just read the light blue print in my signature lol

... besides, there aren't any other good debates going on here right now :)

[shatteredsoul]

I think you bring up some valid points Dr J. I know what you mean and I get where you are going. I think that personally, it is the nature of all people to want and desired to be touched and feel attractions, that is part of the physical existence we are in. I think that society and its strict labels that we abide by that makes us feel one way or the other about the same circumstance. Why do we expect men to want to hold babies and "play" house as adults if we aren't comfortable with letting them do that when they are ages 3 and up? Why do we expect girls to act feminine even when the feel like being tomboys? That is what makes people comfortable. It makes society know what is appropriate and what isn't. It has only recently that women are more physically affectionate in public, on camera and in general. For many years any type of same sex affection was taboo. I think this original post resonates with so many people because they too are interested in what seems right or wrong. Why do we need to make such assertions about any child holding another child's hand. Maybe it makes them feel safe, loved, wanted. What could be wrong about that? YOu get into more sexual scenarios as you go along but the point is the same. Who determines what is socially appropriate and acceptable to feel and express. That is what makes us unique and special as human beings rather than animals or plants. I think that people need to embrace experiencing who they are in an honest, open way to feel happier within. So if being with a man when you're a man makes you gay, then I guess that is what you call it. I am not saying there aren't things that I don't have hang ups about, I have not always had the same view or perception as I do now. I have come to accept people's abilities to act on how they feel as admirable. They aren't holding back to how they feel and everyone has times when they do. We hold back from the ones we have issues with and share them on here with strangers. Many would say that is inappropriate. The less judgements or stereotypes we put on people, the more free we become.

[fix-what-you-broke]

No idea, curiosity? Its like getting a look into the unknown first hand... I am of course guessing.. I guess like anything you have never done before it's a learning process in a way.sometimes its down to alcohol, although I can say I have never been drunk enough to question my sexuallity..

[Bestsinger101]

Ever wondered why straight women fool around with other straight (or gay) women?

Ever tried it?


Ever regretted it?

Thoughts?

Never tried it, apart from apparently when I went out on a Uni night and got totally drunk and snogged a Uni girl!

But the thought doesn't repulse me, I think women are more open to trying new things in general!!

[shatteredsoul]

Did you feel embarrassed after you realized what you did? Any regrets?

[Bestsinger101]

No never felt embarrassed at all cause I spoke to the girl so we could have a laugh over it. I suppose if we hadn't have chatted it could have been awkward, but in general I didnlt feel embarrassed!

How about you, done anything like that?

[shatteredsoul]

NAHHHH, not that I am against it, I am just not as sexually free as some people

[Bestsinger101]

Well I wouldn't make a habit of it but never say no..!

[lella87]

I thinks it got to do with being comfortable and being willing to experiment. Ive kissed a few of my girlfriends. At first it was for pure curiosity, and feeling what it would be like to kiss a girl and if I found it arousing in anyway.

Well, good news for my BF.. I didn't find it arousing, But I found it soooo much fun! Woman have the BEST lips! So soft.. and they kiss better than a guy does, Nice and gentle. Woman understand each other and know the way they want to be touched.

So yeah, id say curiosity and purely for the fun!:)... NOT because they can't get a man! If anything, theyd be able to attract more men because most guys LOVE seeing girls "Hook up".