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rol · May 14, 2007, 05:10 AM

Hi there Origins,
I think it really takes at least a year.I am a year now and I feel so much better. 6 months is a short time, don't beat yourself up about it, you have been very strong and are doing very well. Try and start doing new things so that you don't have so much time to think.. and read a book before bed, that should help to stop those dreams.

Hang in there, time really helps.

origins13 · May 14, 2007, 05:49 PM

Thanks rol! Am trying my best to move on. Have been giving further thoughts and believe perhaps I am somewhat jealous that my ex has moved on so quickly after breaking up with me and is now a new relationship whilst I am still alone. I just can't push myself into liking other people.I have fun going on dates but it's completely different than how it felt with my ex. Am scared that I will be alone forever and perhaps that's why I started dreaming about my ex again these days. Anyhow, I just hope I can get over this soon.

origins13 · May 15, 2007, 07:26 PM

Not sure whether it's just a coincidence or something else. My ex emailed me yesterday. I haven't heard from him for more than 2 months, ever since I changed my number. He just dropped a line to see how I'm doing. He sounds quite formal and distant in the email. I admit I am somewhat happy to know that he still cares to write to me, but I am hesitating whether I should reply. I am not yet over him and the fact that he sounds like a stranger to me feels weird. I feel I no longer know this person. What should I do!

I actually thought about his parents these days because they're very nice to me and his father was ill. Thought of dropping a line to see how they're doing, but because I didn't want to stir up things with my ex, that's why I hesitated. What should I do?

rol · May 16, 2007, 12:47 AM

If you are not yet in an emotional place to be in contact with him delete and ignore, otherwise reply in the same manner he sent you, but I think delete could the better option.

origins13 · May 16, 2007, 02:51 AM

Thanks rol! I replied his email today. Kept it brief and asked about his parents. He told me that they're doing good. He then asked me about my community service trip in Thailand. I had a good time and learned so much. I had the urge to share my wonderful experience with him in the email, as that's what I always do in the past, but I hesitated and did not reply. I guess you're right, I'm better off to just delete the email in the first place. It still bites when I still want to share my life with this person who is no longer the same.

rol · May 16, 2007, 02:59 AM

Yeah don't bother replying origins.
Guess he is young and enjoying his youth and not ready to settle down.

You just take care of yourself, its great you are getting out and doing such things as community service, I'm sure such things will help you a lot.

origins13 · May 17, 2007, 12:55 AM

rol, you're right. I should have just deleted his email in tehe first place. After my last brief reply, he never wrote back. I start to wonder if he emailed me just to check if I'm still around or whether I will continue no contact with him . I felt stupid to have replied.

Oh well, I guess it's a little set back.

origins13 · Jul 24, 2007, 06:09 PM

:confused: Hi... I haven't posted for awhile. To recap my story - ex of 5 yrs broke up with me last November and he soon was seeing another girl. We're physically miles apart during the past 3 years and that's the part of the reason of the breakup. I love him a lot and he was my best friend for years before we dated.

I was very heart broken. But after we broke up and he started seeing someone else, he still calls me from time to time, telling me how much he misses me and that his girlfriend is really jealous of me. He even said he'll want to marry me ultimately and his girlfriend knows about it. I couldn't believe his words and to give myself peace of mind, I cut contact few months ago by changing my mobile number.

Recently he tried all means to reach me, called my office, etc. I had a chat with him. He told me he wants me back. He told that his current girlfriend is very opposite from me and has qualities that he has asked for, but it's not me and that he still misses me a lot. Yet, he is still seeing the girl while asking me to get back together with him. His reason was that he needs time to deal with his own things. I'm very confused and scared to believe his words.

Before he contacted me, I thought I was over him and I actually began to fall in love with a good friend of mine. Perhaps it's all about timing. Things didn't quite work out with my good friend and now my ex is back. What should I do? Deep inside I still love my ex but am scared to get hurt again. Should I give my ex a chance? Or is he just bull shxting me again?

HaRLoS · Jul 24, 2007, 06:20 PM

He is just bullting you again. I dated a guy for 2 years and he constantly cheated on me, he has a new girlfriend who is pregnant with his kis( he got her pregnant while dating me, the reason we broke up for good) its better to just move on. If he hurt you once he WILL do it again. I know from experience. Just move on.

Skell · Jul 24, 2007, 06:40 PM

Sounds like he is bullsh1ting you to me. I don't see why things would work out this time if they had failed previously.

I think he likes knowing that he has you to fall back on if things don't work with his new girlfriend.

He doesn't sound like very good relationship material to me. Too much confusion and crap involved for me.

I think you'd be best off worrying about yourself and leaving him to deal with his new girlfriend. Do you really need more heartache?

origins13 · Jul 24, 2007, 10:54 PM

I could rationalize why I stay away from him, yet a part of me still wouldn't let go. Am scared I might have misunderstood him by any chance.

rol · Jul 25, 2007, 01:25 AM

Origins , I agree with Skell.

He's still dating the other girl and asking you back? Please...

Its most probably because you have pulled away he feels he needs you back,
If he truly loved you he would never have left in the first place.

Jiser · Jul 25, 2007, 01:37 AM

Agree with all above comments. Don't go back! Go forward!

talaniman · Jul 25, 2007, 02:21 AM

Whether he is true or not is irrelevant. He has a child, and a life with out you he must tend to. Why go back? You never know what is for YOU in life, if you want it. Forget the past, and move on to your own life, and happiness.

mckenzie134 · Jul 25, 2007, 04:32 AM

Don't go back. Move forward, you will find a guy who won't leave will want to stay and how unhealthy wanting you while he still has a girlfriend. Don't you think he will do this to you again one day. HE Definitely WILL... When he gets sick of you...

SAB123 · Jul 25, 2007, 05:18 AM

If he truly loved you he would have dumped the girl he is with now and beg for you back. This guy is full of crap. DO NOT FALL FOR HIS GAMES?

HaRLoS · Jul 25, 2007, 07:54 AM

He is only using you as a safety net. My ex did it all the time, we dated a total of nine times, on the ninth time I realized that it was just going to keep happening. Trust me deary, I just think I should pass on my wisdom.

origins13 · Jul 25, 2007, 08:51 AM

My ex would give me the best things in the entire world and cared a lot about me. Perhaps it's hard to accept the fact that things are not the same anymore. I loved him and trusted him. I have reasoned myself why I should avoid him and yet it's so hard to let him go. I know my heart will melt if I talk to him again. I wish I can be stronger.

In any case, thanks guys for your support and advice!