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Tyson22 · Apr 10, 2007, 09:34 AM

Well here is my story. My girlfriend has fallen in love with me, but I don't feel the same
Way about her. We have gone through all of that, and she knows that the feeling
Isn't mutual and I think she is holding on to the fact that I might feel the same way in
The future. Im not sure if this sounds bad, but I don't think I could ever feel the same
Way, things just have not clicked for me and I don't feel happy in the relationship. I don't
Know what to do, I am overseas at the moment for another few months and I feel like
Things for us are coming to a end or will end. I don't really want to tell her how I feel
Over the phone because I know how things will probably go, but then I don't want to tag
Her along for the months that I am over here for. Also she is depressed at the moment, because of friends, family, life etc and that is also worrying because I am the only thing
She is hanging on to. I am really stuck with this one, I don't want to hurt her but I think it is unfair to the both of us if I keep it going on.

talaniman · Apr 10, 2007, 10:08 AM

I don't want to hurt her but I think it is unfair to the both of us if I keep it going on.

You are in a bad position, and no matter what happens then someone will get hurt. Write a letter NOW and then call and get this over with. Any delay makes it worse.

Tyson22 · Apr 10, 2007, 10:22 AM

I think I will call her tomorrow and just tell her everything. By the way we are only young, I'm 23 and she is 19 and we have only been together for around 7 months. I just hope that she doesn't do something stupid, she is already seeing a counsellor about her depression...

LBP · Apr 10, 2007, 01:15 PM

You had the balls to get yourself into this... YOu can get yourself out of it. Hopefully you can be a man about it. Use a very simple rule - are you doing something you'd be ashamed to talk about later? If so, don't do it. If not, you're doing the right thing. I know you can do the right thing. It's just a matter of doing it, no matter how hard it is.

corrie · Apr 10, 2007, 02:19 PM

Do the right thing and end it. Like you I was in a relationship for 7 months up until recently and I really liked the guy and hoped I could love him. I stayed with him because he was kind hearted and generous and I thought time would improve things. I told him that I had feelings for him but he didn't feel the same way and he knew that he would never feel what I wanted him to feel. Looking back we never clicked. To this day I am so angry at him for prolonging things and not having the courage to end it sooner because the truth of it he was just using me. She'll respect you more in the long term. Good luck.

manimuth · Apr 10, 2007, 02:48 PM

Originally Posted by Tyson22

I just hope that she doesnt do something stupid, she is already seeing a counsellor about her depression...

You do what is right and anything else that follows is not, and will not, have anything to do with you. She is getting help and dealing with her own issues but she has to know that it is not fair for everyone else to walk on eggshells, or even sacrifice their own happiness, to keep her happy. (I don't mean it to sound harsh... just truthful.)

Be honest, be truthful, and be brave. Make a decision to tell her how you feel and STICK to it. After you make that decision, don't waver.

LBP · Apr 10, 2007, 03:22 PM

Now another issue is, are you feeling this way because there's a lot of hot foreign tail around to distract you? This happens to many people - they go over seas, meet a lot of attractive men or women, start to think that playing the field would be better and then end up instantly regrettng their foolish and greed motivated choices. Make sure you really know what you're doing, here. Also, feess up if you led this woman the wrong direction. Did you tell her you were prepared for something you weren't? Don't be surprised, then, if she takes this badly and for the love of god don't act like you're god's gift. Sure, you made her happy, but she was looking to be happy - if you took advantage of that than it is your fault. You don't owe other people their happiness but take responsibility for your actions.

That's part of being a man. I'm sure you can do it. Just don't do anything you'd regret.

Tyson22 · Apr 11, 2007, 02:40 AM

The only thing that has changed since I have been overseas is that I have had more time to myself to think about the situation between me and my girlfriend. I had these feelings before came over here so it wasn't like it suddenly just happened. Also I would never cheat on her or anyone else, even though things are bad. Thanks for the help guys, I appreciate you're advice a lot.

crazie · Apr 11, 2007, 03:08 AM

I just recently joined this forums I couldn't help to read this post since I feel brokenhearted. My opinion in this whole issue is that you comprised yourself by entering into a relationship and the fact that you said that she fell in love with you during the relationship lets me think( what I think of, it doesn't mean it happened that way) that somehow both of you rushed because of physical attraction rather than mutual friendship and love. At this point and many others have pointed out it would better to leave it off but please don't make this mistake again of getting into something you were not mean to be part of. Please don't take this negatively; by that I meant to be more careful about your choices and only to get into a relationship when there is a really strong affection.

origins13 · Apr 11, 2007, 03:11 AM

Dragging will only hurt her more later on.