[ItsMajasTurn]

Hi,
I just broke up with my boyfriend that I've been together for 3 and a half years. I'm only 19 but very mature for my age, when I was 17 my (ex) boyfriend got levkemia (blood cancer).. . I stood by his side for 2 years fighting this illness and when he got better he cheated on me.. . twice.
I always said to myself that he needed space from the illness and he needed to feel free again, but was this just an exuse to forgive him and get back together?
We tried again last December and till yesterday I've tried very hard to forget what he has done... He never gave me a good reason (for me) why he cheated on me, and I just kept eaten myself for something that I didn't do.
First 2 months it was great when we got back together, but then everything got worse, he was always in a bad mood, he was nearvous (he never had a good relationship with his dad, because his dad cheated on his mother, but they are still together-familiar ha?)
I guess my question is, Did I do the right thing? I really feel bad and deep down I know it's best for me to let go, but I'm just so used to him being around.. . How do I forgive myself for something I didn't do?

P.s I'm sorry for my english, I'm from Europe

PLEASE help me, I'm desperate

[rweb7]

Of course you did.

You helped him through his battle with cancer for 2 years, then when he got better; cheats on you twice? He doesn't deserve you. You sound like a good person, find someone better or at least descent.

That's just low, in my opinion..

[odinn7]

First, I have to say that your English is pretty good. If you hadn't said anything about it, I would have had no idea. Very nice.

As for your question... he sounds like a piece of garbage. After all you did for him and then he turns around and cheats on you twice. There is no excuse for that. There is no reason for you to feel guilty for leaving him. You did the right thing.

In time, you will feel better about this. You will meet someone that respects you and treats you well and then you will look back on this and wonder why you ever put up with that jerk.

Good luck.

[0rphan]

I think the time has come for you to part company,the only reason you are there is because,in your words, "i'm just so used to him being around".

He has become a habit,a bad habit that you need to break.

[Fr_Chuck]

You help yourself by having self respect and demanding it from others.

1. he can not give you a good excuse, since there is not one, he had sexual desires and lust and he went for it, thinking he was smart enough not to get caught. And assumed if he was, you like his mother would just stay. After the first time and you stayed he felt he had a free pass for another time.

My personal guess is there has been more that you just don't know about.

But you walk away, and don't talk to him, PERIOD< no text, no emails, you don't check on him with Facebook. If he texts, delete without reading, if he emails the same.

[ItsMajasTurn]

I think no text, no emails is the hardest thing for me, because he begs me to stay now.. . And through the days I figure that I love him, but I'm not IN love with him any more, and that it was a habit and he was my first love, my first everything and I have a hard time to let go.. .
Do you suggest to get a good book or something for self growth? I really want to work on myself but don't know how and where to start, any suggestions?