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Azeezr · May 9, 2012, 06:36 PM

My daughter is 20 years old and has been arrested for possession of marijuana. She is rude and disrespectful to me and her stepfather and feels she can talk to us any way she wants to. I told her she needs to go knowing she doesn't have any place to stay. I don't know what else to do

smoothy · May 9, 2012, 07:17 PM

Originally Posted by Azeezr

My daughter is 20 years old and has been arrested for possession of marijuana. She is rude and disrespectful to me and her stepfather and feels she can talk to us any way she wants too. I told her she needs to go knowing she doesn't have any place to stay. I don't know what else to do

Have her evicted from the house... a healthy dose of reality will shape her up... and give you both the peace you deserve in your own house.

It IS your house... and she's not a baby any more. Time for tough love.

Chardel · May 9, 2012, 07:41 PM

I agree, time for some tough love. She, in all respects is an adult, she wants to take on the actions of an adult then she needs to take on the consequences of an adult. Unfortunate as it may be the possession charge is not going to go away, she is going to have to deal with that for a very long time.
This may be the hardest thing you will ever have to do but for her to gain some perspective on the importance of family you are going to have to be tough about her attitude. You are not her slave, door mat or punching bag, you are her Mom, a woman, an adult yourself who deserves to be treated with respect. Remember when she was little and did something that was against the rules, remember how you felt dishing out the consequences for those actions... this is going to be 10 times harder. But just as the discipline was needed then, it is needed now. Let her know that you love her too much to allow her to treat you this way, you love her but your don't like her very much right now. And that is OK! Hopefully along with a healthy dose of reality she will realize that you are a person and she will apologize. Maybe not tomorrow but sometime in the future... It worked for my son hopefully it will work for you.

3kidsnadog · May 10, 2012, 03:20 PM

Hi there! This is a toughie... I'm sorry for the rough patch you're having with your daughter. I would agree with the other posters... tough love and some boundaries are probably necessary here. There's an online article from my workplace (Focus on the Family), that has some practical steps for establishing boundaries with adult children... perhaps you might get some tips there? I know this is super hard for you, and will be praying for you as you figure out what to do... hang in there!