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    gunace's Avatar
    gunace Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 21, 2011, 10:53 AM
    Misundertanding or what??
    I want to share a thing with u.
    Before 3 weeks a boy from her(my girlfriend) class added her in Facebook. She added him because he was frm her class.Actually the thing was she didn't talk with that boy but she says she know her. When I asked how can one know if he/she doesn't talk with that person. She answered that he was frm her class. Later while they were chatting,the boy asked her number. Instead of refusing or ignoring,she told him"I'll give you later". I got furious about that. Can't she have said not to give him. But she told me that she would never give him or any other boy her number. But still that part "I'LL GIVE YOU LATER" .This thing;i can't take off from my mind sir.

    Another one,same as above she accepted another boy's friend request. The boy was also a stranger for her but from her class. She don't talk to him,not till now also. Again same reply "he's frm my class too...so i added him".. feri I got furious... day by day with chatting that boy gave him a nick name and she gave him a one too. Later in message in mig33,she told him"you are my fbr(boy's nick name;meaning facebook razat)...I don know in what sense she told that .When i asked her she told" I was not writing in the sense you think ganesh(me)! *** don't misunderstand". But i got really angry sir. Really angry. Later she told me"I'll never do such things again ganesh. I'll never accept other's friend request of the person whom I never talked"... But these things still stuck in my head and reminds me again and again. And misunderstanding starts... Please sir I need you help... *** *** *** we love each other a lot... Hoping help from you soon
    summer_girl's Avatar
    summer_girl Posts: 146, Reputation: 48
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Mar 21, 2011, 11:42 AM
    It's very common for people with only a small connection to request being added to someone's Facebook friend list. It sounds as if your girlfriend is very social and likes to talk to people. Maybe the others added her to be friendly, but maybe they are attracted to her.

    It sounds as if you have a lot of restrictions on how she can use Facebook and be a social person. The most important question is, does she agree with you? It seems she doesn't want you to be angry, but she does like to talk to new people. Are you planning to marry soon? Are you afraid she will find someone else if she talks to others?

    The two of you will have to decide what Facebook means to your relationship.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Mar 21, 2011, 01:58 PM

    Fair warning.

    Handle this as a secure male who trust his female should act. Any emotionally immature actions, and show of temper will be taken as a hissy fit, like a jealous child.

    Let her have her friends, and enjoy herself. Stay cool, calm, and collected, and don't let this situation make you look like a fool. Your show of trust, and understanding, and cool control of yourself, will win her love, and respect.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #4

    Mar 21, 2011, 03:19 PM

    Is this the same girl who you were talking about in October 2010? The one who was about to turn 16 while you were about to turn 19?

    It seems to me that she is trying to be the typical teenager and make new friends. Boys may be interested in her, but that doesn't mean she thinks the same way about them. Are you interested in every female who talks to you?

    Do you have problems with her talking to males in person and getting to know them as friends?

    She can't go through life talking only to females. If you are controlling who she communicates with now, how bad would you be if you did marry her? Is she perhaps beginning to see what a long term commitment to you would be like? If you were in her place, would accept the restrictions?

    Talk with her and work out a compromise on where the boundaries are. If you work together as partners she might be more willing to be understanding of your concerns. Trying to set all of the boundaries to make you happy will probably result in her getting fed up and moving on.

    I am going to caution you to make certain that you aren't trying to hold on to a relationship that isn't working for either of you. How far apart are your expectations for the relationship?
    gunace's Avatar
    gunace Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Mar 21, 2011, 07:32 PM
    Yes she's the same girl... I also told her that if I'll also accept friend request of girls of my college with whom I didn't talk till now,then how would you feel? " What if i say she's from our class and accept just like you did?". She then said "no no don't do,don't accept! from now onwards i'll not accept blindly"... What's your opinion? Is something going wrong? Who needs to change their attitude. Please do explain me.. Yesterday also we were having lots of discussions on the same topic and I wonder if this will keep on repeating in future also. HELP ME! Please

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