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    flowerchildfala's Avatar
    flowerchildfala Posts: 96, Reputation: 16
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    #1

    Nov 11, 2010, 02:37 PM
    Im so tempted to email my ex and ask if we can be friends now!
    Ok it's been 3 months since I've heard from him, and well he broke up with my 3 months ago and then just disappeared out of my life because I told him that I couldn't be friends anymore and I've kept no contact but I cann't help wondering everyday how he is and I'm so tempted to email him "hey, can we be friends now?" but I guess I'm scared he won't reply... I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that he could just cut me out off his life like that, but it's for the best right?
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
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    #2

    Nov 11, 2010, 02:58 PM

    Do you really want to be friends with him or do you wish for more.

    Can you handle if he has found someone and is in a relationship with another woman, and as friends he wants to talk about her to you. Would you be okay with that. I personally think seeing my ex-fiancee with another woman would STILL seem like I was having my heart ripped out all over again.

    Bottom line is what do you really want out of this friendship and what you can handle.
    pandead's Avatar
    pandead Posts: 280, Reputation: 228
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    #3

    Nov 11, 2010, 03:49 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by flowerchildfala View Post
    Ok it's been 3 months since i've heard from him, and well he broke up with my 3 months ago and then just disappeared out of my life because i told him that i couldn't be friends anymore and i've kept no contact but i cann't help wondering everyday how he is and im so tempted to email him "hey, can we be friends now?" but i guess im scared he won't reply...I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that he could just cut me out off his life like that, but it's for the best right?
    Why he would answer you?
    He broke up with you (he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you) you told him you can't be friends (you didn't want to be in contact with him) and you kept NC for months.

    These are your own words, you two went different ways. Your ego is hurt because he "cut you off his life"... he's moving on because its what EX-boyfriends/girlfriends do. Is that a good enough reason to try to go back into his life... just because you "can't help wondering"??
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Nov 11, 2010, 07:46 PM

    Move on with your life, you don't need him as a "friend" that will be way to hard esp this early

    You are still wanting him back, so after you are dating and could care less about him is when you could be just a friend "maybe"
    flowerchildfala's Avatar
    flowerchildfala Posts: 96, Reputation: 16
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    #5

    Nov 11, 2010, 10:32 PM
    Yea you guys are right, I guess I want to contact him because I still want to believe that he loves me and misses me and wants to give our relationship another go and maybe if I contact him then that's what I will hear from him but that's not going to happen in real life most likely... I don't know how to stop having hope! It's driving me crazy!!
    hazou_afram's Avatar
    hazou_afram Posts: 13, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Nov 12, 2010, 01:59 AM

    Having him as a friend won't help you! If he talks about another girl.. your going to get crazy . Ur willing to having him more than a friend, it's obvious . Your only missing him maybe physically more than anything, maintain NC and see how you feel after a month. Talking with him as a friend will let you feel good for a very short while, then u'll come to an end .
    flowerchildfala's Avatar
    flowerchildfala Posts: 96, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Nov 12, 2010, 02:27 PM
    What to do if boyfriend wanted to leave you because you might be pregnant?
    Ok so I thought I was pregnant and told my boyfriend, then he said he didn't want a baby and he doesn't want to be together anymore!! I've just done a 2nd pregnancy test but it's come uot negative, what do I do? Leave him and move on or get back together?
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
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    #8

    Nov 12, 2010, 02:45 PM
    Tell him that you are not pregnant first of all, but keep in mind that if you do get pregnant he will be stepping out of the relationship, if that is someone who you want to be with then try to fix it, if not then find someone who wants the same things you do.

    Good Luck,

    Javi
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #9

    Nov 12, 2010, 03:09 PM
    Consider this a test that you passed, and he failed. You misjudged your pills, had a scare you were pregnant, but weren't. You were given a get out of jail card free- use it.

    He took the test of learning he was a father, and he bailed on you. He failed.

    Why you would consider risking pregnancy again by choosing a man of such low character; he spent more time having sex with you, than thinking about the consequences of you possibly becoming pregnant. Then when you though you were, he bailed on you. No interest in sharing the horribe time you spent worrying yourself sick that you could be bringing a life into this world. He didn't step up and take responsibility before you knew if you were pregnant, so why would you think he'd be a better man now that you're not.

    Please re-evaluate your contraceptive needs, and make sure you either don't have sex, or that you are well prepared with contraceptives, and/or, you trust the person you are with enough to know that if you DID get pregnant, he wouldn't bail. You don't need a potential deadbeat dad in the picture, anymore than you need an unplanned baby.

    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
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    #10

    Nov 12, 2010, 03:11 PM

    I agree with Jake. This is a test. He failed it. Take this as a hint. He won't be supportive of you through a pregnancy, what purpose does this person really serve in your life?
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
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    #11

    Nov 12, 2010, 03:42 PM

    I would still go to the doctor just to make sure which way or another! I certainly agree with others advice, He FAILED stepping up to be a REAL man.

    I personally wouldn't even tell him that I wasn't pregnant, why should you, he took a walk, just let him keep a steppin!!

    I agree with jake, please make sure you don't waste this get out of jail free card, use better contraceptives. I would also take this time to re-evaluate the type of characters that you want in your next boyfriend. Don't have anytype of sexual relationship until you REALLY know this is the right guy, one that is really into this relationship because he wants to be with you for the long haul.
    flowerchildfala's Avatar
    flowerchildfala Posts: 96, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member
     
    #12

    Nov 13, 2010, 11:59 PM
    What does he want and is this a relationship?
    Ok so I've known for 2 months now and we've been on 3 dates over this period (I've had exams during this time) and we text but it's been a week since our last date and he hasn't asked me out again and he texts me every 2 or 3 days but I don't know what this is or where it's going. Should I ask him or what do I do because I'm so confused! Any guys tat can give me some advice would be kindly appreciated!!
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #13

    Nov 14, 2010, 03:29 AM
    It's too soon to worry about what stage or kind of relationship it is. You don't say how far apart you are, if this is college or high school, or what your living situation is. You don't say what HE is doing right now - exams too perhaps, different schedule? Too difficult for any of us to have a clue where he stands. I wouldn't ask him about his intentions straight out; I would just casually ask if he wants to grab a bite the next warm nice day and walk around town. Sort of asking him out on a daytime date and not expensive. You could even foot some of the bill by making sandwiches. If he paid for your first 3 dates, he may just be feeling broke.
    deoni's Avatar
    deoni Posts: 10, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #14

    Nov 14, 2010, 09:09 AM
    Definitely he likes you and he is interested in you ,he is just playing it slow taking his time, on your own side you can maybe accelerate it a little bit , when next you see him or when next he txt's u ask him when you guys are going to meet , I don't know how much physical contact u've had , mayb just create some contact hold hands or a kiss might be spark the whole thing , as for me I me always take it slow in order not to be rejected until I see some signs that is interested the I get in, Goodluck,
    Show some signs don't ask him yet
    flowerchildfala's Avatar
    flowerchildfala Posts: 96, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member
     
    #15

    Nov 14, 2010, 02:56 PM
    Really? So he might be interested? I thought he just wanted to be friends because he is talking this so slow and I'm not used to guys taking things slow! Im at college and he's finished and working now!
    flowerchildfala's Avatar
    flowerchildfala Posts: 96, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member
     
    #16

    Nov 23, 2010, 10:35 PM
    Comment on deoni's post

    So what would you suggest? I've started texting him more now but he just seems more distant and when I sugested that we go out this week he said that he was quite busy and that he would have to get back to me on a date and time. Am I over analyzing?

    Comment on Jake2008's post

    Thanks, your advice is spot on and the advice I would give to a friend if she was in my situation! I am so thankful that things have turned out for the better and that I am baby free and jerk free now!
    mystific's Avatar
    mystific Posts: 340, Reputation: 308
    Full Member
     
    #17

    Nov 23, 2010, 10:40 PM

    Just leave it be. Maybe send him a final text to say 'let me know when your not busy' and then leave it.

    If he wants to pursue you, let him. Don't make it easy for him ;-)
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #18

    Nov 23, 2010, 10:42 PM

    Is this the same guy?

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...nt-525335.html
    flowerchildfala's Avatar
    flowerchildfala Posts: 96, Reputation: 16
    Junior Member
     
    #19

    Nov 24, 2010, 03:43 AM
    Comment on J_9's post

    No that was my sister, she didn't want to create an account so I let her use mine and ask, and I guess she wasn't listening to my advice so I'm glad I let her use this website because everyone pretty much told her the same thing I did!

    Comment on pandead's post

    Thanks pandead and everyone else who has given me support!! Every time I get tempted to contact him I think of your advise and stop myself! Thank you!
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #20

    Nov 24, 2010, 06:20 AM

    It's best to let her create her own account to save from confusion like this. It is free after all.

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