[dzdncnfsd]

I broke up with my boyfriend recently, because I found out he had started talking to his ex (they dated for 3 years prior). They had been broken up for 3-4 months before he met me. Anyway, he used to treat me great and tell me he cared for me and all signs showed he wanted to be with me, well one day I found a FB message from her to him that was mushy and telling him I love you, miss you, etc etc. Well after that I had asked him to stop speaking to her, but instead, it caused him to START speaking to her... and I found out through phone logs that he had been doing so every day since... :( I confronted him, and asked him if he still had feelings for her, etc etc... and would have felt better if he had an explanation for any of it, but he just denied it all, and said it was just to bring closure to their relationship and that he still didn't want to have anything to do with her, and she was the one calling him and he would pick up just to listen to what she had to say, etc etc. And would get mad about it.

Anyway, needless to say I finally got tired of playing the mind games, and told him that I wasn't stupid and knew that if he felt the need to call her and communicate with her that much, there was definitely more to it than he was letting me in on. And since we broke up, I've checked his call log a few times just to see, and sure enough, the conversations hadn't stopped, if anything they increased... he calls her sometimes first thing in the morning when he wakes up, and she'll call him late at night and such. Breaks me heart, but I know my worth and also realize that they probably didn't have the time needed to heal from the breakup...

I have since done the no contact thing and that has somewhat worked, he does call/text me occasionally, but I don't get it, why would he say he wants to have nothing to do with her, but yet communicate with her so much, and tell me he wants to be with me but let me walk away so easily... I'm so confused. I know I should move on, but I just keep thinking back to how things were before she came back in the picture, and how much I cared about him.

Do you think he'll realize that she isn't worth going back to, and regret losing me? Or what should I do... I keep wondering if maybe I made a mistake and their conversations really are just innocent...

[redhed35]

She didn't come back in to the picture,sounds like she never really left.

And you did not make him do anything,he made contact and listened because he wanted to not because of anything you said.

You were the rebound girl,and at least you realised that he still has unresolved feelings for her,that's for them to work out.

Go complete no contact,no confusion here.

Don't be the girl to soften the blow when the ex decides she wants no more,and don't be a tissue for his tears.

[rusrssty]

He was with you does that not tell you something, I had the same thing, I was with someone I loved very much, but the ex wife kept butting in, there was nothing going on. No contact, can work against you hear because if he is feeling down and missing you , he may well just try and pick up with his ex, Games never work I have seen that been there, good luck

[talaniman]

I just don't believe you get closure after a failed relationship while in another with someone else. How can that work? It can't, and you did well to leave a relationship that this fellow is not ready to give his full attention to.

Don't be sucked back into being his emotional tampon, let him heal on his own, at his own pace, while you explore better options and opportunities.

That's what NO CONTACT with him will do for you, and end the questions, confusion, and drama of competing with his past. If he goes back to his ex, so be it, you have better things to do than nurse his confused heart, and be his REBOUND.

[Shadowburn]

You did the right thing. Let him figure it out on his own, without you in the picture. And be careful when he'll run back to you - because he will. They broke up for a reason - I bet this reason is still there.

You deserve better than to be in the middle of all this drama and lies.

Good luck.