[prowaker]

Because we made eye contact and knew I was watching.
No I wasn't drunk when I approached her. It was not her date, he was my friend as well as hers.

[Homegirl 50]

Well it was still a dumb thing to do and childish on her part as well.
You are not over her yet that's for sure.

[prowaker]

What would you of done if you saw your ex of a long relationship hooking up with another guy. And your by yourself. I didn't know what to do, I thought it was right at the time.
I know I'm not completely over her, I'm not going to lie. I don't love her that's for sure but I still do care about her.

[Homegirl 50]

I would have walked away. I may have been hurting but I would not have given that person the satisfaction of knowing I was hurt.

What about what you did do you think was right? What did you think it would have proved?

[talaniman]

You could have left, but you didn't. That's what I would have done if I couldn't IGNORE her.

But what will you do now, is the real question.

[prowaker]

I tried ignoring but, I couldn't. I left after I broke it up. I realize it now I gave her the satisfaction she wanted. And I'm hating myself for doing so. I just thought it was right to break it up, I was feeling so much pain go through my body witnessing it. I think I proved to her that I still care about her, which obviously is what she wanted.

Right now I'm going to ignore everything. She's blocked on my Facebook so even if she does something I can't see it. She is blocked on my phone so can't get a hold of me. And I'm just going to keep going out meeting other people.

[sully123]

Prowaker, sorry but if my ex boyfriend behaved the way you did and went after the guy I wouldn't have anything to do with you at all, anymore. What did you get out of it? You were being childish, and abusive to someone else. I don't care who it was. She was right to block you on the phone, I would have done the same thing. But the difference between that, I would never stoop down to anyone to that level. IT's call pride and respect. You lost all your chances now, sorry but that's the truth. That behavior is ridicuolous!

[Homegirl 50]

i tried ignoring but, i couldnt. i left after i broke it up. i realize it now i gave her the satisfaction she wanted. and im hating myself for doing so. i just thought it was right to break it up, i was feeling so much pain go through my body witnessing it. i think i proved to her that i still care about her, which obviously is what she wanted.

right now im going to ignore everything. shes blocked on my facebook so even if she does something i can't see it. she is blocked on my phone so can't get a hold of me. and im just going to keep going out meeting other people.

Keep away from any contact with her, don't ask anybody about her, if someone wants to talk to you about her say "sorry I don't want to hear it"
Keep ignoring and meeting other people you will be fine, just don't jump into another relationship.

[prowaker]

I'm sorry. I never had such a thing happen to me before, I didn't know what to do! I've been treating this girl so well for our whole relationship and for me to see something like that threw me off all right. I would never be abusive to her! Id never hit a girl. And I didn't hit him! All I did was break it up and talked to the guy afterwards. I got nothing out of it, just this huilt in my stomach knowing I did something wrong. I blocked her on the phone. What do you mean stoop down? Chances of what getting back together? Because I didn't want to any ways I just wanted to stay friends.

[positiveparent]

Have to spread the rep homegirl and talaniman.

I agree you should have left or ignored it, you only served to make yourself look foolish and no doubt your ex was feeling proud of her so say achievement.

Back off and if it happens again, leave...

Whilst you bite she is going to push your buttons, she's being childish and so are you by allowing her to take away your power.

Walk Tall and Proud don't succumb to her silly school girl antics...

[sully123]

Sorry prowaker, I don't mean to be hard on you, but your going about this all the wrong way. After you break-up its hard to be friends with someone when you were a couple together. You haven't even gave her any space to even miss you. Calling her and just being places where she is, doesn't help you. I am not saying stop your life an avoid her, but do you honesty think she will think much of you, when you behaved like that. Maybe it was the first time you lost it, but where did it get you. You let her win! That you still care, and that's what she wants. Show you don't care, don't text her, don't call her and actually stay away places she goes too. You have to take the bull by its horns. No one knows the future, but you hurting and chasing after her will push her away comletely. Think about it, if she did that to you how would you feel?

[prowaker]

Yah thank you. I just don't know what's going on in my head. I never been through something like this and its an instinct to want to talk to her and be friends. I have been a complete mess since this happened and haven't been normal since.
I don't care what she thinks anymore this whole thing has been a trip to hell and I'm not even back yet. It feels like there's been a knife put into my back and someone is twisting it. I'm taking the bull by the horns but it throws me off.

[talaniman]

What defines a persons true character, is how they deal with their mistakes, as we humans are bound to make them.
Acknowledge it, learn from it, and move on from it.

Next time you will do better. Go ahead, ask me how I know. I have made more than a few mistakes in my life, and honestly some where real stinkers.

But when life knocks you down, you get back up, and keep going.

Talaniman Rule-Never wallow in your own sh1t!

[prowaker]

I am really doubting relationships now. Like you think you've found someone you want to be with unconditionally and they just tear you apart. Besides the whole dating thing her and I were best friends. I trusted her, I could be myself around her, I could tell her anything. I just don't really understand how someone could throw that away as easily as she's doing.

Trust me I'm learning. It's the pulling myself back up part that's hard..

[Homegirl 50]

Just because you feel an attachment to a person, it does not mean that person will always feel the same thing. You two were not on the same page.

You will find love again.

[prowaker]

Update:


Haven't been on here in a while and wanted to update everyone.

So I didn't talk to her since this incident at the club. She tried a few days after it happened I didn't answer her phone calls, she called using friends numbers, anyway we started talking about what happened and we got into a heated argument and I called her names I never though I would have. After that we didn't talk its been 2 weeks? Anyway 2 days ago she texted me again asking if I hated her and thought she was what I called her.

I wasn't going to reply but I gave in unfortunately. So we talked that entire night about stuff and she apologized for what she did and I apologized for what I said. Then last night we talked on the phone for a good 2 3 hours. I'm completely over her as girlfriend / boyfriend perspective but I'm not ready to let go of her as a friend if she's willing to be friends with me. I still care for her (not as girlfriend but as a friend).

I know I shouldn't be talking to her period but she's not being a bi*** anymore towards me and we can actually have a decent conversation when we do have one. We talked about why we broke up and stuff and how we will like 99.999% not be going out again which I was fine with snd we agreed.

But if we do start talking more frequently and maybe even hanging out once and while I'm scared of 2 things; if we start seeing other people it will be hard for either one of us won't it. And secondly, I might start to get feelings for her or something. I know everyone is going to say go back to NC but can we pretend that's not an option.

[BWK10]

I'd go back NC.

[Barry1981]

Yep, don't even think about being friends its only going to keep the feelings bubbling at the surface.

Go back to NC and let her go, you cannot be friends when you clearly still have feelings about her.

I'm quickly learning that NC is without a doubt the single most effective way of getting over someone... supplemented with new activities, friends and family...

[talaniman]

Its only been less that 2 months, and you still are only doing things that don't help the healing process and you wouldn't even have to worry about the things you fear most after a proper healing,

but if we do start talking more frequently and maybe even hanging out once and while I'm scared of 2 things; if we start seeing other people it will be hard for either one of us won't it. And secondly, I might start to get feelings for her or something.

Because you won't care what she is doing. That is the goal isn't it? Then maybe you can be friends and maybe good ones. You just don't want to wait and see, or be honest about it. Your fears are real, and happens often when people try to force a friendship, they are not ready for or willing to work for.

I have no doubt when she starts to see others, or doesn't have time for you, you will be as devastated as when she dumped you. You have apologized to each other, now let go of the speculations, so you can heal properly.

[Homegirl 50]

With all of these fears you have it is obvious that you are not over her.
You two have now cleared the air, said what you need to say, now it's time to leave each other alone so you can heal and move on.