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Bagiannya · Jun 11, 2010, 02:39 PM

Hi,
I and my friend have been so close that we cannot separate between friendship and love any more. From my site, I love him. That is not because of no reason. He made me fall in love to him. He is a great man. A nice and smart one, the most important he is humorous. We proceeded for a relationship called frendship with romance in between. He often said nice words of romance to me. I tried to figure out what it is about; does he love me or not? I become confused with his feeling. It has been 7 years. These days I become closer and closer. As it is closer, he tried to be away a bit. He does not really want when I say lets stop and no for everything also friendship. He suggested just a greater distance. The reason is he becomes aggressive (grumpy) when someone becomes closer to him. He said he is afraid I expect more that He can and want to give, and he also said that He think he will not marry anyone in his life. I don't understand him. He said many nice words, calls, etc.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 11, 2010, 02:52 PM

Then you need to separate yourself.
He does not want romance and marriage.
If you want to continue the friendship, set boundaries. No romancing.
If he wants to have the romance, tell him he can't have it both ways.

talaniman · Jun 11, 2010, 04:39 PM

Why would you waste 7 freakin' years on a guy who doesn't want what you want?? I don't get it!

His words and actions don't seem to match up to me.

realman71 · Jun 11, 2010, 08:26 PM

7 years! Wow1 he is just keeping you around for comfort and the fact that he can because you allow it. Have some respect for yourself and tell him to put up or shut up. He is playing a game with you and unfortunately you are playing it too. You don't have to!

Bagiannya · Jun 12, 2010, 12:28 AM

Now, we are working in making a greater distance. He said leave alone and space, he is feeling that I become closer to his life; while he does not want it. I am not really sure whether he really does not want it, because He still say he will nice to me if I leave him alone for a while. He still promise a contact, he said, he insist on making contact after that when I asked for a bear hug for a total goodbye. He did not want to give.

Working on towards casual friends. It has been only two days. I find very difficult and sad myself, because I cannot throw him away from my mind.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 12, 2010, 06:34 AM

Well you need to throw him away.
This relationship has not gotten anywhere in 7 years, it's going no further.
He will give you a taste on his terms, that is not cool.
Respect yourself and walk away from him. Totally away.

positiveparent · Jun 12, 2010, 07:50 PM

If you haven't made any progress in this relationship after 7 years then sorry to say you won't be going anywhere near the altar.

Let him go he's as good as told you he doesn't want a long term relationship or any relationship of any worth.

Bagiannya · Jun 12, 2010, 09:24 PM

Dear All,
Thank you. I will try to forget and leave him; though it is very sick. I left him a message with all sequential stories we passed together. I hope he will remember them all; twice he wants me to say I love you to hear from my mouth. 6 years we had in long distance. Only 1 year I and he have been close physically. He changed the last 3 months; at the same time I have problems with my family pressing to get married soon. I told him about him when I was feeling sad making me cry (he called it hysteric). Sincethen, he changed he created the distance, while having the problem with my family I was wondering what happened to him related to me. I never asked him to marry me; though I love him but he is feeling that I am pushing him to do that. I never felt so; though I expected. I said to him if I made him thinking and grumpy please throw me away from your mind.