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Wildcat21 · Nov 21, 2006, 11:44 AM

It sucks - she must have such low self esteem - seeking attention from many guys will never cure that - ever. It's sad - but there are many women out there like that.

She must have had a lot of insecurities as well - needed a lot of compliments.

I hope you didn't say "I love you" - these gals will drag that out of you as well - when oyu shouldn't be saying that for 6 months or a year.

bj_1964 · Nov 21, 2006, 01:55 PM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

She must have had a lot of insecurities as well - needed a lot of compliments.

I hope you didn't say "I love you" - these gals will drag thta out of you as well - when oyu shouldn't be saying that for 6 months or a year.

You're right, she did drag those three words out of me! Thing is I did love the person that I was seeing at the time. Too bad that it was only a small portion of who she was.

Yes she did need a lot of compliments, and looking back I can see where she was a flirt/tease at work with a lot of the guys. It didn't work on me so I guess she tried the "nice girl" approach.

Another odd thing that I have realized of late, was she was very good at taking, but very seldom said "thank you". Over the time we were dating I would show up at her house with groceries, cold medicine when her and the kids were sick, stuff she needed for the house, etc... I was trying to help her out financially without actually giving her cash, since she was unemployed. Very seldom would she even say thank you, almost like she was expecting these things.

Wildcat21 · Nov 21, 2006, 03:16 PM

Don't sat it!! Don't say those words for a long, long time. SHOW IT!! You can show it by doing nice things.

"was she was very good at taking" - yep - not surprised! I could have added that to the list.

Good thing is - there are a lot of women out there WHO ARE NOT LIKE THAT.

Try a nice single (non-divorced with kids) woman. You'll will be a whole lot happier. No games. No CRAP from her. No issues. No mahor baggage. No drama. No crazy beatch.

You might think you're doing nice things helping her when she was unemployed - but it was a bad decisin (I know - you're good guy - but these crazies take it TOTALLY the wron gway) - she totally took you for granted. It's a slippery slope though.

bj_1964 · Nov 21, 2006, 06:49 PM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Don't sat it!!!! Don't say those words for a long, long time. SHOW IT!!!! You can how it by doing nice things.

"was she was very good at taking" - yep - not suprised! I could have added that to the list.

Good thing is - there are a lot of women out there WHO ARE NOT LIKE THAT.

Try a nice single (non-divorced with kids) woman. You'll will be a whole lot happier. No games. No CRAP from her. No issues. No mahor baggage. No drama. No crazy beatch.

You might think you're doing nice things helping her when she was unemployed - but it was a bad decisin (I know - you're good guy - but these crazies take it TOTALLY the wron gway) - she totally took you for granted. It's a slippery slope though.

Well on the plus side, I learned a lot from this 8 week relationship! At 42 it is tough to find anyone without "baggage". Next time around will definitely go very slow.

And on the entertaining side, I just heard she now is up to four guys she is seeing at the same time! I am sure I will have to be prepared for the call when this all comes crashing down around her. That's what they make voicemail for!

Wildcat21 · Nov 22, 2006, 10:11 AM

Wow - this gal is going gto crash and burn and be very confused for a long time. That's so unhealthy.

bj_1964 · Nov 22, 2006, 08:19 PM

Wildcat,

Thanks for you perspective on this. Even though you are telling me what I already have figured out, it helps to hear it from someone else.

So tell me this, why is it when I have finally figured out how screwed up she is, and that I am lucky to be out of it this soon, I still feel hurt and miss her. Looking at things logically I know this would have never worked out, so I should be relieved right? Or is this one of those cases of missing the person I wanted her to be, and not who she turned out to be?

bj_1964 · Dec 21, 2006, 08:42 PM

Looking for some advice, been awhile since I updated this post. Been keeping no contact and haven't seen her for two months. Tonight while at a bar watching the football game, the buddy I am with tells me she is with some friends right behind me.

The buddy I am with is the guy who fired her from her job. I decided to not turn around or even acknowledge her. She left after about two hours and I never even saw her or said "hello". I am kind of feeling low here. She could have made contact as well as I am sure her friends told her I was there.

Did I do the right thing or did I just make an a** out of myself. I figured since I was the last one to attempt contact two months ago it should be up to her. Also I was hesitant because of my buddy being the one who fired her from her job. Should I text or call to apologize for ignoring her or is this all part of no contact?

talaniman · Dec 21, 2006, 09:16 PM

Don't open up a can of worms so forget it and stay on the no contact path.

BIM · Dec 22, 2006, 07:21 AM

Leave it be, you did the right thing. If you would contact her she may make you feel worse.

You did the right thing.

Wildcat21 · Dec 22, 2006, 09:08 AM

I don't know - how long has it been? More than 2 months.

I am sure she did not want to come u to talk with you because of the guy you were with. Quite sure.

I particularly don't like this women and her recent dating habits. I'd find someone else for sure.

Wildcat21 · Dec 22, 2006, 09:12 AM

"Too bad that it was only a small portion of who she was." - remember these words you typed.

bj_1964 · Dec 22, 2006, 03:52 PM

Thanks Cat, Tal, and BIM,

I wasn't sure if ignoring her was the right thing to do. Your replies make me feel better that I did the right thing for me, and who cares what she thought!