[Lucky098]

So this has been bothering me for quite some time.. And.. I don't know if I should just leave things alone due to it being a complete waste of my time.. Or, if I should do something about it.

I had a very, very good friend who, about a year ago, took it upon herself to stop talking to me and put the blame on me.

We became the best of friends while working together at Petco as the one man army trying to get the companies dog training program up and going. We had little to no help, and struggled all the time and constantly fought with our manager. We hung out all the time. And had a great time.. I soon got fired from Petco because I refused to drive into work two times a day. She got me a job at Sam's Club where her Common Law husband worked as a manager. Everything was fine and dandy. We continued our friendship. Had parties at her house with some of my co-workers from Sam's Club.. had a great time..

Then.. it all fell apart...

One of the creepy Team Leads at work thought he could make a move on me. He texted me one night asking if he could tell me that he thinks I'm pretty. Really didn't think anything of it, and wrote back I didn't care. He writes back saying he wants to tell me in person --- WAY CREEPY! Totally blew him off.. Called off work the next day to avoid akwardness.. Next thing I know, this dude is making work a living hell for me. I didn't tell his Girlfriend of 7 years, didn't tell any of the managers.. no one.. No reason for this dude to give me the cold shoulder and be a royal pain in my butt. I talked to my friend about this from day one.. She spoke with her husband who literally did nothing about this. Things at work got worse, the creepy dude was making work difficult for me so I finally went and spoke with the Jr. Store manager about the situation. He let me go home... apparently spoke with the creepy dude, and life moved on. (I thought that was sexual harassment? ) Anyway, everything was OK for awhile... then it got worse. Creepy dude's girlfriend was my direct Team Lead for our dpt. She constantly told me that she wasn't upset with me and that it was his fault and blah blah blah... But it soon turned into her not needing my help in our own dpt. She would never include me on the activities that were going on or let me know if something needed to be done. I know she had a grudge towards me (who wouldn't? ). This was all handled so unprofessionally I just couldn't believe it! I was never in my dpt when I had to work with my Team Lead. I found other stuff to do. My manager (my friends husband, his name is Justin) walked by one of the aisle one day and asked me if I was still in his dpt. I replied, "yea, but she has Cody to help her.. She never includes me in anything. Justin just kind of rolled his eyes and continue on. (Mind you, he knew what was going on from DAY ONE and hasnt done anything to stop it... He was my manager, creepy dudes manager and creepy dude's girlfriends manager.. he had the power to stop this). I was so mad.. so upset... so angry that I stormed up to the Sr. Store Manager and asked to be moved out of the dpt. I told him I was sick of dealing with everything. No one was helping me. No one was standing up for me. And no one was stopping this. The Sr. Store manager said, "I'll get you out of there, I promise."

Two weeks later.. I'm still in that dpt being harrassed by those people.

So I finally went up to the Store manager and told him EVERYTHING.. from the text messages all the way up to Creepy dudes girlfriend treating me like crap. I was moved to the registers the next day -- Throughout all of this disaster, I was constantly talking to my friend. It was rarely about Sam's Club, but the subject did come up.

During this time, my dad wanted to take this store to court for sexual harrassment.. He had 3 lawyers lined up ready to pounce. I backed down because I wanted to protect my friends husband, Justin. I knew he was in the wrong, but I valued my friendship with his wife more than stupid BS going on at work.

Anyways... Shortly after I spoke with the Store manager, my friend became very distant with me. She rarely talked to me.. never invited me to her house.. very strange. I thought it was odd of her, but didnt get to worried... she had a little boy, maybe he was tiring her out.

And then I get the text message...

" I don't know why I'm even being nice to you. I know you talked $h!t about Justin behind his back.. Everyone else knows it to."

I defended myself.. asked her what I supposibly said about him.. she never replied back. It bothered me.. I felt extremely sad... But whatever.. I always thought that our relationship was strong enough that she could have confronted me about something she didnt agree with and talk it out.

I apologized to Justin. I told him that I never said anything bad about him towards anyone. I told him I was upset and that I didnt think he handled my situation very well, but never would have slandered his name in any way towards anyone. He accepted my apology.. and that was literally the last time I made any type of contact with Justin.

2 months later.. I get another text message... "Hey, are you coming? I'm on the west side of the lake". Of coarse it wasnt for me... She came up with an excuse that she was drunk and it was dark out and was very nasty to me... I called her a B!tch and erased her phone number for good.

I know that text wasnt a mistake.. I think she was being very wicked.

And now, here I am.. almost a year later... I heard from a grapevine that she told some of my mom's clients that "her friend runs that rescue" .... :confused: That statement confuses me.. If she wanted to be friendly, she could have said "I know the person who runs that rescue"... Not my friend!

But.. I feel like writing her an e-mail. Telling her how I feel.. and what I think happened... To be honest, I think the Sr. Store Manager told her that.. I have no proof, its just a hunch.. but it's the only person I know of who is real close friends with her and her hubby.

I just really miss her friendship. Her and I had so many of the same likes... Maybe this is more of a rant than seeking advise.. but.. What would any of you suggest? Continue to keep her out of my life and keep moving forward? Or write the e-mail with the thought in the back of my head that she won't even read it??

[saigowthami]

You lucky please do not ask me about these silly questions.
Of course your question is very negligible as compared to an atom.so lucky you are very lucky for being lucky not being unlucky.
Thank you,
By your lucky friend

[saigowthami]

[QUOTE=saigowthami;2311599]you lucky please do not ask me about these silly questions.
Of course your question is very negligible as compared to an atom.so lucky you are very lucky for being lucky not being unlucky.


I wanted to tell you this but because of my unlucky fate this computer told me to lengthen the text.

So lucky you are very lucky as you have taken a place in my unlucky heart and made me lucky as lucky as you.
Thank you,

:D:mad::p

[Larken85]

The heck did all that mean?? I just got extremely confused. But anyway, I say leave her be. She doesn't want to be friends or else she would come to you. You have done your part. Ball is in her court

[taaam]

If you care so much for friend, then you should try and send and e-mail to her. Calling her after so long would be... awkward.
I suggest that you write down what you feel on a paper first, and after re-reading it, consider; 'is this really what I want to do?'. You don't have anything to lose if you send her an e-mail, since she's basically already not a part of your life anymore.

[Lucky098]

the heck did all that mean?!?!?! I just got extremely confused. But anyways, I say leave her be. She doesn't want to be friends or else she would come to you. You have done your part. Ball is in her court

You're right! If she was as good of friend as she claimed to have been, she would have talked to me about all of this and get her facts straight, correct?

[talaniman]

I would put this behind you. I would also see the common denominator in all this, which is YOU, because every one else can't be completely wrong, despite how you feel about it.

Drop this whole mess, and get beyond this. Irritating as it is, it could be simply a sign, you need better friends, or at least different ones than co workers.

I am on your side though, as you give very good advice to others and think once you have let the emotional dust settle on this thing at work, you will do what's right for yourself. :)

[Lucky098]

I would put this behind you. I would also see the common denominator in all this, which is YOU, because every one else can't be completely wrong, despite how you feel about it.

Drop this whole mess, and get beyond this. Irritating as it is, it could be simply a sign, you need better friends, or at least different ones than co workers.

I am on your side though, as you give very good advice to others and think once you have let the emotional dust settle on this thing at work, you will do whats right for yourself. :)

That's me! Always able to give advise, but suck at taking my own advise... :rolleyes:

I know there is some blame on my end.. I shouldn't have put myself in the situation to be harassed by creepy dude.. And I also should have just went straight to the Store manager. It would have definitely ended right there and then. There are mistakes on my end.. fully aware of them..

And I am so head shy of making new friends. Every friend I have ever met has turned into a completely different person within 2 years. They become controlling for some reason.. I lost friends over my boyfriend once we started dating.. I think its just the area I live in to be honest :( No one's very faithful to anyone in any type of relationship, whether its frienship or boyfriend/girlfriend.

But... I'm definitely not going to contact her. Even though it bugs me.. I keep getting that thought in my mind that if she was truly my friend, she would have confronted me and asked what was going.. not automatically assume I was saying things about her husband.

But oh well... Life continues to march on! I think I may just preoccupy my time by getting my business started.. I've been talking about it for months now! Time to step up to the plate! Thanks though!

Oh! And I don't work at Sam's anymore.. So the dust is more than settled.. Still feel a big of a grudge towards the place.. but glad I don't have to go there ever again!