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goncrzygramz · Feb 21, 2010, 10:49 AM

My son yells and screams that I am a dope addict and should get up and do on my own.. took a book they gave me back before 5 minutes were up, then removed a TV they bought for me when mine quite. He sprayed air freshener in my daughters face when she was doing her taxes on my computer... they completely ignore me... and yell at me for things I did not do... I have to use a walker all the time and have polymyalgia rhuematica (very severe!). I was born in August, 1937... help me please
I have 3 other children ut he says this house is his

GoodLuckPig · Feb 22, 2010, 01:34 AM

Take charge and lay down some rules, tell them they either get their act together or get out. Lay down some hard lines, tell them how disappointed you are, and be sincere.
However, if that doesn't work.
The house is still in your name(I assume). Take them out of your will first off, and call one of your other children for help. No father should have to put up with a disrespectful son, especially in old age. I don't know what legal actions you can take.

Aurora_Bell · Feb 22, 2010, 09:50 AM

Yikes, what an awful situation!
You definitely need to lay down the law. I would try talking to them, but you should think about getting some legal assistance before you do. It sounds like he has a nasty streak. I would want to have all of this documented some how. Would any of your other kids help you with confronting him? What you are describing sounds like elder abuse, and it needs to be reported before something really awful happens to you. I would be afraid to alone with him! Under no circumstances should you sign any documents he puts forth. Tell your other family members what is happening, and if all else fails contact you local police department. What is his wife saying or doing while all of this is going on?

trudger67 · Feb 22, 2010, 04:48 PM

You have let them in there for a reason, maybe financial, I don't know. Why does he say you are a dope addict? Are you on dope? Is there rent supporting your habit? What's the payoff for having them there? If there is no pay off for having them there then ask them to find alternative accommodation if that is what you want? Are you scared of him? Stop looking at everything he does wrong, and clean up your own backyard and check out your own motives for having them there in the first place. Your complaints seem a bit childish and I think there is more to this story than you are telling. Good luck.

Aurora_Bell · Feb 22, 2010, 05:06 PM

Why did you say to clean up her back yard? I read this as she was helping her son and his wife and new baby...

trudger67 · Feb 22, 2010, 05:14 PM

[QUOTE=Aurora_Bell;2242961]Why did you say to clean up her back yard?.

Hiya, I probably sounded really harsh however I sense that there is more to this than is being said. This picture has been painted from a true victim, but that person will be playing a role in it somewhere... hence clean up their own backyard. There will have been a series of choices made that has progressed this series of unfortunate events. Why hasn't the remaining family become involved? There is more to this.

Aurora_Bell · Feb 22, 2010, 05:21 PM

Ahhh I understand! Yes I would be interested in knowing what the rest of the family's perspective is with this. I am concerned about elder abuse though...

Alty · Feb 22, 2010, 05:22 PM

I do agree that there is more to this story then what we've been told. Sadly we only ever get what the OP is willing to tell us, also, their side of the story is just that, their side. I'm sure the son would tell a very different tale.

To the OP. It's your home. If you want them out then evict them. This will have to be done legally but if you start now you could have them out of the house within 30 days.

If you're not willing to do that then I have to ask why?

trudger67 · Feb 22, 2010, 05:27 PM

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

ahhh I understand! Yes I would be interested in knowing what the rest of the family's perspective is with this. I am concerned about elder abuse though...

Great! I am brutally honest... gets me into trouble. And like you, concerned about elder abuse. I am sort of wondering if it can posted on the site, then it may be a plea for help... and of course I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to that person. I think that if they are painting the picture as being true and accurate, then the authorities or social services need to be brought in to help. I most certainly wish them well.

Aurora_Bell · Feb 22, 2010, 05:29 PM

Me too. I hope that the OP can get the help she needs either with the son or other issues that she feels she needs to paint her self as a victim.

trudger67 · Feb 22, 2010, 05:33 PM

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

Me too. I hope that the OP can get the help she needs either with the son or other issues that she feels she needs to paint her self as a victim.

Yes. Being the victim is a comfortable place to be when we don't want to own our own role in things, I stayed in it long enough myself... then I found recovery and what a blessing it is to take ownership today. Cheers

Mike_2_Help · Feb 22, 2010, 06:23 PM

Couple things to consider goncrzygramz. Previous posts have addressed this as much as possible considering the content of your presenting problem. First, with so many things we are powerless over in life, we must take control over the things that we can change. Abuse is never acceptable. If you are being abused, contact your local Adult Protective Services and/or the police.

Are you using prescribed opiates (pain killers)? Are those around you noticing behaviors you are exhibiting that you are not aware of possibly?

If so, are these behaviors possibly detrimental to yourself or others.
After you listen openly to the feedback to other friends, family and still assess that you do not play a part in the interpersonal difficulties, you either need to accept the situation or rebuke what you have permitted into your life. The behaviors you describe are unacceptable but try to be open to see if there is a way you can use this situation to learn something about you. Human behavior can always be explained. Ignorance is not bliss. Awareness and action brings freedom.

trudger67 · Feb 22, 2010, 06:30 PM

[QUOTE=Mike_2_Help;2243200]Couple things to consider goncrzygramz. Previous posts have addressed this as much as possible considering the content of your presenting problem. First, with so many things we are powerless over in life, we must take control over the things that we can change. Abuse is never acceptable. If you are being abused, contact your local Adult Protective Services and/or the police...

Choice words, and well said. I have a huge respect for people who choose to live in the solution and not the problem. I will keep a check out for more of your posts :)