[Lucky098]

I Feel so horrible... Two of our rescue dogs died within a week of each other.

The first one was Angel. Sweet Angel... She was 8 years old and was dumped in a kill shelter after her original owners spoke with my mom about releasing her to our rescue. We saved her life... We brought her here, she adjusted slowly to the rescue dog life, but was doing OK. She lost weight -- We thought it was due to stress. She ate, he eliminated, she drank, she was bouncy, happy... She continued to lose weight.. We fed her 8 cups of food twice a day.. She ate it all. We were thinking she had cancer. We're a small rescue, privately owned and run.. There isn't a lot of money if there isn't a lot of dogs being adopted. We had her on a "please help this dog" list and we were getting donations to help her. Finally got some money for her, and made the appt. The next morning she was dead in her crate. We thought it was cancer.. She kept looking at her feet.. We gave her pain meds, it seemed to help some.. But it was apparent her feet hurt her. Her last day, she was very wobbly.. Almost drunk. She kept falling. My heart was breaking... I feel so bad that we lost Angel..

Two days ago, our lovely Lacey passed away. Same symptoms. My mom called the vet on Friday and asked if we could bring her in and they hold a check. They told us no. They told us that they need to be paid up front... My mom was furious. We've been going to this vet clinic for years. We've been giving them good business... And they turned a life away. So we watched Lacey all weekend long. She seemed to be holding her own. Had an appt set for Monday morning... But it was already too late. Lacey had rapid weightloss as well. But her personality and energy levels never changed. She ate everything we gave her.. She even escaped from our dog runs :) She dug holes and was as obnoxious as ever... And then within 5 days, she was gone. Her mate, Luke, he is completely heart broken. I know he's looking for her, and can't understand why he can't see her anymore... I feel so horrible!!

Because both dogs died within a week apart, the first thing that went through our minds was some huge, horrible virus. We had a necropsy done on Lacey... She had the same symptoms as Angel... Wobbly, disoriented, emaciated, and had sore feet. Tests came back... Lacey died from phenomina. He said it was extremely advanced... her lungs were toast. She had a systematic infection.. The infection was everywhere.. Her brain, her joints, lungs, heart.. everywhere. The vets assured us that this wasn't infectious... They also said that this phenomina has probably been with her for quite some time. I asked if this could have been preventable.. If maybe the dogs got too cold. They vet asked how we house them... Explained that the dogs are in a garage, in separate crates, bedded down with pine shavings. The vet assured us, we are doing the right thing with these dogs.. He said that what we're doing isn't the cause of this phenomina... But I just feel like its our fault. That we could have done something to prevent this.

God, I feel like such a failure! And I am so incredibly sad. I liked Lacey... I always sang that song "Angel" by Shaggy every time I handled Angel.

... And what makes this worse... neither one of these dogs had people wanting them. They left this world as a toss-away.

I'm almost in tears right now... So I'm going to end this thread... :(

[tickle]

So sorry lucky. Heartbreaking for you, after caring so much for them and I am so sad they left this world not adopted. But they had you and that makes a big difference, lady.

My Taffy had to go last Thursday, I am still getting over it and the house is empty without her. She was a lovely Walker Hound, l3 years old and suffering. I have closure, so does my son; he was the last to hold her going because he was the first l3 years ago to carry her home.

Anyway, enough my sad news. Sounds like you and your mom are doing a wonderful job, so don't hassle yourself too long over this. Just make it up by double duty and two more poor foundlings.

Good luck and hugs

Tick

[shazamataz]

I'm so sorry Lucky, don't you dare say you are a failure, you did more for these dogs than their previous owners did and I am positive they died knowing they were finally somewhere they were loved.

That's the sad truth about rescues, some dogs just don't survive and there's nothing that can be done. You did your best Lucky, that's all we can do.

[jmjoseph]

Bless you for giving those wonderful dogs a HOME. You gave love and care to them when no one else would. You gave them a good life. Have comfort in knowing that they loved you for that.

It's never easy to lose a pet. We mourn them just like any other family member.

May God ease your pain.

[Aurora_Bell]

Aw Lucky, I am so sorry for what has happened. You are not a failure, it sounds like you have done every thing you could have done for those dogs. They may have been "throw aways" by their previous owners, but YOU took them in and loved them and cared for them.
You're doing a great thing, don't get discouraged! We need people like you and your mom in this world!

Tick, I am so sorry to hear about your Taffy!

[Cat1864]

And I am so incredibly sad. I liked Lacey... I always sang that song "Angel" by Shaggy everytime I handled Angel.

... And what makes this worse... neither one of these dogs had people wanting them. They left this world as a toss-away.

Lucky, I am so sorry for your loss.

Please, in your grief, don't forget what you have done for them. The love you have given them.

They may not have had 'forever homes', but they had at least one person wanting them... you. You may not have been able to keep them as 'yours', but I think they thought they were.

We may not agree on everything, but I think one thing we can agree on is that you care about ALL of the animals you work with whether they are technically 'yours' or not. It shows in how you write about them. Hold them in your heart and they will know it.

[Lucky098]

Thanks for everyone's responses... I just had to get this off my chest! I just feel so bad about what happened to those guys, almost as if we're doing something wrong. They both sit in the back of my mind as a big "What if"... :( I just wonder what they thought about at their final hours... If maybe Angel thought about her family... wondering if she was a bad girl and if that's the reason she was dumped... Or if Lacey wondered why she was never loved or cared for... These two just really got to me.

My poor babies :(

[Alty]

Lucky, one thing I'm going to point out, and after I do, read your post and know it's true.

You said they died as toss aways, with no one wanting them. That's not true. You didn't toss them away. You gave them shelter, food, and most importantly you gave them love. It's obvious just from reading your post that you cared about them. Dogs know when someone cares. They died knowing that you do.

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I can only imagine how hard it is, losing 2 in one week, losing any at all, but you rescue so many, you save lives, this is what you have to remember.

So grieve, because you have to, but know that they have found their forever homes in doggy paradise. I don't know if I believe in heaven but boy do I hope it exists and if it does, there's a special place for dogs, especially dogs that went through what theses two did.

Big hug to you. I'm so very very sorry for your loss.

Do not blame yourself, it's not your fault. Okay? Hugs.