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    thomasashley88's Avatar
    thomasashley88 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 16, 2009, 07:54 AM
    Name change without consenting the "spermanator"
    Ok, I want to change my son's name without consenting his so called "biological father." He hasn't kept contact with my son. The last time he saw him was when he was a week old, and my son is now 18months. Is it possible to get my son's name changed to my maiden name? And yes, he did sign the birth certificate, so what can I do?:confused:
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #2

    Jul 17, 2009, 09:00 AM

    You can get over your issues and contact the biological (not "so called") father and handle the name change legally and like an adult.

    To do so without his consent violates his rights and would require committing a crime (perjury).
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #3

    Jul 17, 2009, 01:41 PM

    Isn't it something how girls think nothing of getting pregnant to a guy and then after the break up and the baby he is suddenly the sperm donor?

    I thought it was only in my neighborhood!:rolleyes:

    I also don't know why you feel you need to change his name.
    You will have to get his consent.
    Did you go after him for child support?
    rachelbunny's Avatar
    rachelbunny Posts: 23, Reputation: 0
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    #4

    Aug 31, 2009, 02:20 PM
    I had a son from an abusive relationship and he signed the birth certificate also. I am a single parent now and very happy but I wanted for years to change my son's name to mine but never plucked up the courage. Now I have accepted it as his name as well as his 'father's' name and he will make it his own.

    I still do not know if you need to get permission to change the name but I do know that at school, etc, you can have him on the register 'known as... ' whatever you want, for example William Smith (known as William Brown) and they will call him William Brown. Hope I explained this OK. Xx
    desertstar36's Avatar
    desertstar36 Posts: 46, Reputation: 10
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    #5

    Sep 10, 2009, 11:37 AM

    All I know is I had the same situation. I wanted to change my son's last name. His biological father had only seen him once when he was an infant. I had to go to a lawyer and did need his signature. Luckily he signed it and I never had to talk to him or see him. It cost about 500 dollars.
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #6

    Sep 10, 2009, 11:45 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by rachelbunny View Post
    I had a son from an abusive relationship and he signed the birth certificate also. I am a single parent now and very happy but I wanted for years to change my son's name to mine but never plucked up the courage. Now I have accepted it as his name as well as his 'father's' name and he will make it his own.

    I still do not know if you need to get permission to change the name but i do know that at school, etc, you can have him on the register 'known as............' whatever you want, for example William Smith (known as William Brown) and they will call him William Brown. Hope i explained this ok. xx
    You have wanted for years to change your 18 mo. Old child's name?

    Honestly as a parent myself, with a father who was a dead beat for the first 10 years of my son's life, who still owes $11,000.00+ in arrears, you shouldn't force your child to give up their heritage, at this point, you need to let it be his choice.

    Father's mature and grow up and no matter how much you don't like it, your child will adore an absentie parent more than you will ever understand. Don't shame your child or mold his feelings to hate/dislike for another parent, it is for them to decide.

    Let your child be proud of their name, it is theirs. Good luck to you.
    desertstar36's Avatar
    desertstar36 Posts: 46, Reputation: 10
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    #7

    Sep 10, 2009, 11:56 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    You have wanted for years to change your 18 mo. old child's name?

    Honestly as a parent myself, with a father who was a dead beat for the first 10 years of my son's life, who still owes $11,000.00+ in arrears, you shouldn't force your child to give up their heritage, at this point, you need to let it be his choice.

    Father's mature and grow up and no matter how much you don't like it, your child will adore an absentie parent more than you will ever understand. Don't shame your child or mold his feelings to hate/dislike for another parent, it is for them to decide.

    Let your child be proud of their name, it is theirs. Good luck to you.
    First, the person with the 18 month old and the person wanting to change her child's name for years are two different people. I also had a dead beat father. I really didn't care one way or another that I had his name growing up. Not all father's mature and grow up(mine didn't) I certainly don't adore him. We all have are own opions. So if this person want to change her child's name then she should. It will not shame the child or mold them. It is how you raise your children. The most important thing is that they grow up to be good people and not absentee parents.
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #8

    Sep 10, 2009, 12:09 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by desertstar36 View Post
    First, the person with the 18 month old and the person wanting to change her child's name for years are two different people. I also had a dead beat father. I really didn't care one way or another that I had his name growing up. Not all father's mature and grow up(mine didn't) I certainly don't adore him. we all have are own opions. So if this person want to change her child's name then she should. it will not shame the child or mold them. It is how you raise your children. The most important thing is that they grow up to be good people and not absentee parents.
    The fact is it was your choice to make and you made decisions on your own about the fact your father was a dead beat. Not all father's mature and grow up, but without a crystal ball you can't guarantee that every father won't.

    Leave the decision for the child's feelings to the child.

    It hurts to know that someone is even more adored for stepping up the second half of my child's life while I struggled through the first alone, but I will never intentionally influence my son's adoration for his father.
    Stringer's Avatar
    Stringer Posts: 3,733, Reputation: 770
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    #9

    Sep 10, 2009, 12:14 PM

    Maybe Judy can help us on this but I believe that once the biological father signs off there are some legal responsibilities that he loses, not sure, but I think so.
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #10

    Sep 10, 2009, 12:42 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Stringer View Post
    Maybe Judy can help us on this but I believe that once the biological father signs off there are some legal responsibilities that he loses, not sure, but I think so.
    Not on a name change. A name is just a name... has nothing to do with rights or responsibilities.
    desertstar36's Avatar
    desertstar36 Posts: 46, Reputation: 10
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    Sep 10, 2009, 01:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    The fact is it was your choice to make and you made decisions on your own about the fact your father was a dead beat. Not all father's mature and grow up, but without a crystal ball you can't guarantee that every father won't.

    Leave the decision for the child's feelings to the child.

    It hurts to know that someone is even more adored for stepping up the second half of my child's life while I struggled through the first alone, but I will never intentionally influence my son's adoration for his father.
    I agree with most of what you are saying I just don't think names play such a big part. It wasn't my name that made me decide how I felt, that's all I am saying.
    Stringer's Avatar
    Stringer Posts: 3,733, Reputation: 770
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    #12

    Sep 10, 2009, 01:26 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by stevetcg View Post
    Not on a name change. A name is just a name... has nothing to do with rights or responsibilities.
    Thanks, I wasn't sure Steve.

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