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busy_bee · May 16, 2009, 02:18 PM

Last summer, I worked with this guy for three months. We saw each other for ten hours every day, six days a week. It was just me and him in a little shop. We got on very well, we talked about all sorts of things - literally anything you can think of. I didn't realise it at first, but I had fallen for him in every way.

In September, we both went back to our different universities but still saw each other about once a week - he'd drop in on the days I was working part time and vice versa. However, this ended in January when we both quit. (It was quite a demanding job and didn't leave sufficient time for college coursework.)

The only thing was, he had a girlfriend who he lived with. Nothing ever happened between him and me. It was very strictly platonic. However, two months ago, he broke up with the girlfriend.

Nearly a year later, I can't get him out of my head. I know he has flaws, but I accept them. It's not like I think he is the most perfect fantastic guy out there, because he's not. But I still love him. I've been with a few guys since, but it's just not the same - it's not him. Should I tell him? Or not? I mean, I'm probably never going to see him again. I just need closure with him and don't know how to get it.

I apologise for the length of the post. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Fr_Chuck · May 16, 2009, 02:23 PM

First I would worry somewhat about being so obsessed by someone you never really dated.

But you will never know if you don't tell him, if you don't, there will never be a chance

busy_bee · May 16, 2009, 02:34 PM

I read my post again, and you're right it sounded obsessed! :D I think it just came out too strongly!

He was just a great guy, that I clicked with. It's hard to let that go.

Fr_Chuck · May 16, 2009, 02:48 PM

So call him and tell him, maybe alilttle less strongly,

But if you don't, in 40 years you will always say, I wonder what would have happeneed

busy_bee · May 16, 2009, 02:52 PM

That's true. I think I will. I mean, what's the worst that could happen. He says no - so what? I don't have to see him again.

Thanks for the nudge in a direction Fr_Chuck!

AandZ4ever · May 16, 2009, 08:19 PM

Well I've never told my crush of 3 years and now he's going to graduate. Im stuck on what to do as well. But what I would want to do is tell him.

Gemini54 · May 16, 2009, 11:46 PM

I'd go a bit more softly. Why don't you give him a call and ask him if he wants to catch a movie or have a drink? That way you can see each other and you can gauge if you feel the same way. I wouldn't embarrass myself with 'declarations of love' until I'd seen him again and seen if that same speak was still there.

busy_bee · May 17, 2009, 04:43 AM

Haha, I don't think I'd do a declaration of love, it's a bit over the top and, you're right, embarrassing! We're going out tonight, so we'll see what happens. Slightly nervous, but hopefully it'll he okay. :)

busy_bee · May 20, 2009, 11:59 AM

Thank you all for your comments. I figured that I should tie up this topic and write what happened...

Originally, we were meeting for coffee. However, after a cup or two, he suggested we go somewhere else for dinner. I said sure, why not? We were having a really great conversation, it was like being stuck in that cramped shop all over again. I was a bit scared that it would be arkward, because we hadn't seen each other in a while, but everything was fine.

About a half hour after arriving at the restaurant, I was thinking of trying to gently bring in my topic. But, before I could figure out how, he was telling me all these things I wanted to hear regarding, well, him and me.

So, my story ended happily ever after, he wanted what I wanted. I am so, so, so happy, ecstatic if you will, right now! I really didn't expect it!

I can't believe I could have missed this.

Thank you guys again for giving me a nudge in the right direction.