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Whatever24 · Apr 3, 2009, 11:37 AM

What would be your reaction if you found out or had your teen tell you that they are sexually active at the age of 15? And I mean sexually active as in oral sex not the whole 9 nine yards. Would you understand and just talk about it with them? Or would you blow up and have a fit?

Just a curious question.:o

simoneaugie · Apr 3, 2009, 12:16 PM

My daughter moved in with me when she was 15. She was having sex and hiding it from her dad. I told her that sex of any kind put her at risk for getting STDs or pregnant. "I know, mom."

So we discussed what she could do to problem-solve the situation. We went to get her on the pill. Her boyfriend came over to meet me and I went to meet his parents. All the adults knew that they were having sex. We parents didn't like it but all thought it was better to be talking about it than hiding it.

Many parents do not allow their kids to be sexually active before certain ages, events. That's great. When a teen is having sex, oral or the whole nine yards, telling a parent about it is a good thing. Even if parents go ballistic, letting them be in on things is positive.

XOXOlove · Apr 3, 2009, 12:20 PM

My parents would kill me! They would probably lock me up forever! Especially if I were 15!

Emland · Apr 3, 2009, 12:20 PM

I would take her to the doctor and have her checked out for STDs and get her on the pill.

I would advise her as strongly as I can that it is not a great idea because it can lead to pregnancy and a baby deserves a mom and dad in a loving relationship (and in their own home) that can provide for it.

My mom was an "ignore it and it will never happen" kind of mom. She was just lucky that her daughters were smart enough to know how to protect themselves.

artlady · Apr 3, 2009, 12:37 PM

They stopped having chastity belts in the middle ages so I would make sure she was protected.

I would explain all of the medical ramifications and the psychological ones as well.

I would be very clear that I was not condoning her behavior but that I understand.

I would tell her that she needs to have respect for herself and that she should have boundaries and that no one should ever talk her into something she feels uncomfortable with.

I would tell her that sex without love is lacking and she should save herself for love.

I would tell her her body is her temple and should be treated as such.

I would say thank-you for coming to me and I hope you know I am here to answer any questions you ever have and I will try to reserve judgment.

Then I would wipe the sweat from my brow and have a nice cold beer :)

Justwantfair · Apr 3, 2009, 12:41 PM

I am thinking they may have banned chasity belts, but I do have a roll of duct tape... guess I will have to fashion my own. ;)

Emland · Apr 3, 2009, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

I am thinking they may have banned chasity belts, but I do have a roll of duct tape... guess I will have to fashion my own. ;)

Chastity belt and depilatory all in one. Ouch.

spitvenom · Apr 3, 2009, 01:13 PM

When I was 14 and my mom found a box of condoms in my room she FLIPPED!! It took about 2 weeks before she could even look at me. Another week before she would even talk to me. Her and my dad finally sat me down and had "the talk" (a year to late) but I explained I am not sleeping with 50 different girls just my girlfriend and they just explained STD's which I had no idea of and then showed me pictures of what STD's can do to you. It's funny ever since then I could talk about anything with my parents.

Whatever24 · Apr 3, 2009, 02:23 PM

OK so most of you agree on "talking" to them about it.

Would you give them the space to do it? Or would you be more all around them so they don't have the chance to do it?

artlady · Apr 3, 2009, 02:37 PM

No space to do it.Suffer like I did out in the woods.

My son was not allowed to have a girl in his room for fun unless they were both 18 and I am a very liberal minded mother but I draw the line there.

And then not just any fly by night thing either.

Someone that he was in a relationship with.

simoneaugie · Apr 4, 2009, 12:55 PM

More time is spent looking for a place to do it... I think it's safer if you're in your room and mom and/or dad are fully aware of what you're doing. My mom used to get irritated if we were out past curfew. I reminded her that sex can occur any time of the day or night. If she had allowed me to have boys in my room, I would have been home, not keeping her up worrying while we searched for a place to do it.

Dad knew guys climbed in my window. He would walk with heavy footsteps, knock, and then poke his head in and ask if we were okay.

Whatever24 · Apr 4, 2009, 03:47 PM

Haha that's funny cause usually the mom's would be the more like chill ones and the dad's would be the more strict ones. What age do you think teens start being sexually active? Or just oral sex? Because it's just now the age averages to be about 15, is there something wrong with that or is it just the generation?

godsbabygirl267 · Apr 4, 2009, 06:16 PM

I would definitely talk to her about all the things sex can cause and how her life could change if she's not careful. Many parents have the mind set of, "Oh well, if I just don't talk to him/her about sex then he/she won't know about it and therefore will abstain." W_R_O_N_G... Kids will be kids and they will have sex if they really want to, no matter how difficult you make it. I wouldn't make it easy for her to have sex with him, as in not leave them alone in a room with a door and all that, but I would get her on some birthcontrol, and a handy box of condoms for her to have.

simoneaugie · Apr 5, 2009, 09:24 PM

If a teen talked to me about wanting to have sex before doing it that would be ideal. A kid armed with mom's power and knowledge is better off. Additionally things could be bought beforehand and put in a handy place in case they were needed.

Sneaking around, doing it in the woods means that one of the two had better have a condom handy. Of course, a girl carrying spermicide and lubricant around in her purse is a good idea. How many teenage girls need to even hide the contents of their purse though?

Age? It depends on the teen, their development and maturity. Anyone who has heterosexual relations runs the risk of becoming a parent, birth control or not. What age is it appropriate to drop out of school, work full time and support yourself and the child? If you do get pregnant, parents may continue to support you. What are the reasons they might feel burdened, by your fun?

Until one supports oneself financially, emotionally and physically taking responsibility for all mistakes, answering "at what age" is difficult. Until you are a parent, the awesome weight of responsibility felt, is just what you imagine. The reality of responsibility and the real possibility of lifelong poverty (because you didn't finish school or can't afford daycare) is hard to imagine when someone else is feeding you and paying for the electricity you use every day.