[Some1HelpPlz]

My Fiancé and myself have had trust issues in the past. Her early on, Me as of late. We always seem to figure things out and work it out.

Now we find out she is pregnant, I was so excited and have been researching everything from A-Z about our new child. It has been about a week and a half since we found out. I noticed she was kind of quiet lately so I figured it was raging hormones, so I kept my distance.

Until today. She was sighing all day long and I kind of giggled about it writing it off as hormones. We have a rough past and all, but stuck it out for 7 years. I recently lost my job, was forced to live with family. It's been stressfull on us both, but it is only temporary. So she tells me that she is worried about the future and I try to reassure her that it will all be OK. She then flipped the switch on be by telling me that while I am all excited about the baby, she on the other hand feels no connection to the baby in her belly. Is this normal? I thought as the man, I wasn't supposed to instantly connect, and she is. Someone help me out, this turned into a huge argument with her telling me she is considering abortion. HELP!!

[nikosmom]

Everyone handles unplanned pregnancies differently. Some instantly connect, some weep from fear, and some declare that they're not ready. It's only been a week and a half so it's understandable that she may be frightened.

You mentioned trust, so do you think she may be hiding something from you? Sit down and talk to her and see what she says- she may just be overwhelmed and afraid given your recent job loss and living situation.

How old are you two? What is her living/job situation? These things could also factor into her misgivings about the pregnancy.

[Some1HelpPlz]

Well her mind is made up. I tried for countless hours to let her see the positive side of things. To prove to her that I can and will be there for her all the way.

She keeps coming back with so much negativety that It is driving me silly. Would it be safe to say that I have lost the fight to keep this child? I know it is her decision and all, but is there anything else I can say to her? I have talked with her about this and I fear that If she gets rid of the kid, we will have no future. It's like she gave up on us and she don't want me.

I have been dwelling on this and I can't take it no more. Every waking moment is spent on trying to change her mind. Advice?

[MsMewiththat]

I have a lot of questions in regards to your comment about trust issues in the past. Can you give more information about that so I can answer appropriatly.

[nikosmom]

I'm truly sorry to hear that she's not listening to your feelings. Really.

It starting to sound more like maybe she has something to hide (just a thought). I think this because of her unwillingness to hear your feelings.

I wouldn't suggest you give up because that unborn child is part of you. Maybe she will hear you out and consider keeping the baby. I agree, that it'd be hard to have a future with someone that got rid of your baby knowing how much you want to keep it.

[Justwantfair]

She has to be what about two months along. I think she is expecting a lot from herself if she believes that she should be connected to this child already. The first trimester is about morning sickness and nausea, unless you have had children before it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

You are connecting more because you are attempting to connect by learning. Have you involved her in the learning process? Also, if you have been together for seven years and you are currently only engaged? How long has the engagement been? When is the wedding scheduled? Could her frustrations be stemming from other situations in your lives? Living with your parents? There is a lot of things to be stressed and burdened about, if she feels that you are just woohoo, lets bring in a child and she is worrying about how a child makes the rest of this stuff better and doesn't complicate things more, are you both still communicating?

[ZoeMarie]

I wouldn't give up. That's your baby too, as long as there isn't anything that she's hiding from you. If there are trust issues it sounds like you two need to have a long talk before she makes any kind of decisions regarding the baby.