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Jilldalil · Sep 2, 2008, 12:34 PM

I am divorced. My exhusband wants to change our agreement to a 50-50 agreement. However, he works 2nd shift. I explained that I would not agree to letting his new wife take my kids every other week when he wouldn't even be around. They would not be benefitting from being with their step mom when they could be with their real mom. Would it matter to a judge that he wouldn't be there, it would be his new wife taking care of the children?

Fr_Chuck · Sep 2, 2008, 02:47 PM

I would assume you work and are not at home? Who is your baby sitter ?

Of course he has a good right to ask for and get 50/50 custody agreements. So while he works, there is a need to someone to watch the kids If he was not married, it would be a day care, in this case it is his new wife.

But your agrument is sound, and it will depend on what or how your judge feels about it

Jilldalil · Sep 2, 2008, 02:51 PM

I guess I should have explained the children are in school during the day. He works until 11:30 PM M-TH and on Fri it is even later. I work while my children are in school. They are in afterschool care until I get off, however, he is already working. He will gain no extra time himself, it will just be the new wife that gains the time. He sleeps way past the time they need to be dropped off at school so it would be the new wife taking them to school also. Like I said he will gain no extra time himself it will just be the wife. I just don't see how it would be in the best interest of the child to be with the new wife when the children could be with their real mom.

melissashumate · Feb 22, 2009, 07:46 PM

Speaking from a step-moms point of view give her a chance I know you probably have some hatered towards her but she is now his wife sit down with her and tell her what it is that you want and what has to be inforced so that way you are all on the same page and don't play them against her. Try and see if that works and if it doesn't stick your ground I hope it works out for you

Electrican · Aug 3, 2009, 10:57 PM

Not to pick sides, but getting the kids may be part of a plan by your ex to convince his boss to let him change shifts. Perhaps talking to him about his reasons, and future plans may help you with any decisions.

talaniman · Aug 10, 2009, 06:58 AM

Be great if all 3 adults worked together, but you do have a strong reason for not going along with his plan. This IS something to discuss, and work through though. No harm in talking to get his reasoning behind such a drastic change.