[snapdragon]

The topic is:

Monogamy

Opinions and thoughts? Is it needed? Is it something society invented? Pros and cons, let me know what you think.

snapdragon

[starbuck8]

If we didn't have any monogamous relationships, we would have a whole society of really unstable people, that believed that trust and promises weren't necessary. The next generation, which in fact is already happening, would grow up with a lot of unscrupulous behaviour and moral standards that would, in a certain ripple effect, create a lot of other immoral behaviour.

Without monogamy, there would be no more united families, and no secure or trusting feelings. I believe that would make people act out in violent and criminal ways, and it would cause chaos. Jealousy is inevitable at some point, and it is a powerful feeling. It is in our personal make up. Some people know how to control it in certain situations, but sooner or later, it will surface in one way or another. People want to believe that there is a person that is faithful to them, and them alone.

I don't believe that manogamy is anything that society has invented at all. I think it is simply a matter of how humans act and react.

[Synnen]

I've got to ask here:

Do you mean monogamy as in "each person has only ONE partner, for life" or monogamy as in "don't cheat on your partner after the agreement was that you'd be faithful" or monogamy as in "even though it's okay with BOTH partners in a relationship to look outside the relationship, ALL couples should only be with one partner, either 'ever' or 'at a time'"

Your definition of monogamy is needed before a true discussion can happen.

[talaniman]

Two healthy people in a monogamous relationship, don't get STD's.

[Fr_Chuck]

Unless they were born with it
Unless they got it from improper use of needles
Unless they got it from one of the many dental cases that come up over the last 20 years on not proper cleaning of instruments.

And other lists.

[N0help4u]

I wouldn't want my guy cheating on me! It's me OR don't let the door hit you in the butt and don't come a-knockin' EVER again if you go for someone else!

[Synnen]

I wouldn't want my guy cheating on me! It's me OR don't let the door hit you in the butt and don't come a-knockin' EVER again if you go for someone else!

My question is this, though:

Does monogamy mean ONLY one person EVER?

Does that mean you marry the first person you sleep with, and you are only EVER with that person?

Or does it just mean not "cheating"?

Frankly, I give thanks on a regular basis that I didn't marry the first guy I slept with. Or the second. I loved them, in a way, at the time, but it's NOTHING to what I feel for my husband, and frankly, I would have been unhappy with BOTH of those guys in a lifelong situation.

Can any of you that are claiming monogamy is the best way say that you ONLY slept with your spouse, EVER?

Then, too, you have "serial monogamists"---people who only sleep with one person at a time, but those relationships are short-lived and generally only about sex--not about the caring and understanding and respect that goes with a deeper relationship.

And what about those guys that break up with a girl that loves him, JUST so he can pursue another woman, and then comes back to her--and she TAKES him back? Is that another form of monogamy, since he didn't technically "cheat" on her?

If you're defining monogamy as one-woman, one-man, until death do you part---well, then I'd BETTER not hear you giving advice to someone to leave their partner because then divorce/breaking up isn't feasible unless you ALSO advise them that they should remain abstinent for the rest of their lives.

As I said before---I need a definition of what "monogamy" is before I can tell you what I think about it.

[talaniman]

Monogamy used to mean, "the state or custom of being married to one person at a time." It now apparently means to have "relatively few partners," one at a time.

From the Internet.

[snapdragon]

My reason for this post was simply to get everyone's thought on the subject, I didn't ask looking for a specific answer, nor did I have a specific definition in mind. I wanted to know what it means to you. I also didn't ask if you could let me know if you are male or female, I just find peoples opinions and thought very interesting and insightful.

Thank you to everyone who has answered
snapdragon

[Choux]

Monogamous marriage is for raising healthy children.

Other than that... (older people can do what they want, they have earned it! )