[lovedoctor]

I think you helped it cool which was good, you didn't do anything drastic and were just relaxed I think she noticed that and I think your going to be just fine, just one tiny suggestion just keep it slow if you guys do hang out then just keep it slow like you guys are just friends for now
**LD**

[dollarman]

LD, thanks for the post. Definitely a different perspective and I can actually see what you're saying. She had to have noticed because it was a complete 180 of how I had been acting and I really haven't been crowding her. Anyway, I think I'm going to keep that whole nonchalant but responsive thing going... any ideas?

[talaniman]

Do you want her back?
Have you been able to move on??

[dollarman]

Yeah I want her back. And with the exception of some bad days here and there I feel like I'm moving on. No major depressions. No strong urge to contact. No strong concern with her period. At this point she must initiate if things are to change.

[talaniman]

Wow, you sound as if you don't care one way or another. That in itself is a good enough reason to move ahead, and leave her alone.

[dollarman]

Lol. I can't say that I don't care either way. That definitely would not be true.

[AA2008]

It's a shame that when your girl leaves you, opening up to her and being honest about how you feel won't bring her back instead you got to play it cool and wait around for her hoping she'll finally see sense and come back to you that's messed up.
Im in the same position as you bruv just keep the lines of communication open.. who knows what could happen.

[dollarman]

Well now I guess I'm going back and forth as far as NC or not. I really shouldn't be initiating contact right? Much different tune then I was singing earlier.

[AA2008]

Either stay in contact or go for the NC don't be in 2 minds about it. After a lot of BS and drama, I've backed off from my girl completely.. going to take the time to sort myself out, make myself feel like a million bucks and make sure she sees it then lay it out for her if she isn't on it I'm gone for the last time. A guys got to have a plan right? Good luck with yours.

[dollarman]

Yeah I agree with that. I really can't see a point in initiating contact at this point. I really don't. So it's NC for now.

[AA2008]

Good thinking :)
She knows how you feel right? She knows you want her back. Its more than likely that everything has been said. You don't want her as a friend, you don't need to know what she's getting up to. If something bad happens to her, I'm sure you'll be one of the first people who she gets in contact with. So relax, take it easy and use this time for you.

[dollarman]

That's very true. I figure I have said everything, and she should know exactly how I feel by now. Lol. So yeah, at the end of the day I feel much better having not broke NC then I probably would if I had.

[AA2008]

Exactly lol don't undo your hard work! Just think after all this time anything you have left to say to her isn't going to bring her back.. she would be back already if that was the case.
I know its hard as hell when you get the urge to talk to her.. and its even harder when you think about what she's potentially getting up to whilst you can't even watch porn without feeling guilty lol (ok maybe that ones just me) but stay strong man..

[Distantlove]

Just don't get your hopes up. Still carry on with your life, but don't put her at the top of your proiorities. Play it cool. Take it step by step and just go with the flow. Stay strong and don't initiate contact. Leave the ball in her court and see where it goes :-)

[dollarman]

Thanks for the reply... I've been struggling with contacting her for the last few days... clearly NC works because she contacted me last... patience is a virtue that can hurt you. Lol.

[bigbird213]

Either stay in contact or go for the NC dont be in 2 minds about it. After alot of BS and drama, ive backed off from my girl completely.. gonna take the time to sort myself out, make myself feel like a million bucks and make sure she sees it then lay it out for her if she aint on it im gone for the last time. A guys gotta have a plan right? Good luck with yours.

That is probably one of the most positive and inspiring mindsets I have heard from someone who just broke up. Bravo man.

[bigbird213]

Thanks for the reply...I've been struggling with contacting her for the last few days...clearly NC works because she contacted me last...patience is a virtue that can hurt you. Lol.

Dollarman,

The urge to call her will fade in time, trust me. You will go through phases but the urges get less and less as time goes on. Its been over 2 months since I last talked to my ex and I never have the urge to call her anymore. I miss her yeah, but call her? Never.

[dollarman]

Yeah you're right BB. My last attempt at NC I truly felt OK with everything, and I really had no problem with the NC anymore... then she texts me. So now I think my subconscious is caught up on whether she'll write to me again. Although I did just think of something... I never did the whole "please don't contact me unless you want to reconcile, I need to heal" bit, and I was wondering if maybe I should... not to envoke a reaction but to lay it out there and possibly quiet my subconscious as much as possible...

[bigbird213]

If you need her to leave you alone, there really isn't anything wrong with asking her to do so - just so long as you can handle the fact that she might not contact you again. It sounds like you are ready for that, but I can't make that decision, only you can.

[dollarman]

Well the thing is... she hasn't really been bothering me. Outside those texts there's been no contact at all. And I guess my issue is that I don't want her to initiate contact just to end up feeling like I do 4 weeks from now. If that makes sense... I think I'll wait it out a bit but I'm not sure at this moment.