[bamachick2505]

I have been dating my best friend for almost a year now. I moved in with him this past January due to family problems. I am 18 and he will be 21 in August. I stay at his house during the day with nothing to do. And when he gets home all Im asking for is 30 minutes to an hour of his time. But he comes home gets on the computer or plays his Xbox. I have told him how I feel. But that doesn't seem to matter. Am I wrong for getting mad at him? All I want his some time. But I can't have that.

[positiveparent]

, or p.c.
Hi bamachick

Can I ask why you do not go out to work?

With your b/f playing his XBox in the evenings, have you spoken to him and told him how you feel about this?

Perhaps you and he could compromise about this, and come to some mutual agreement about how long he plays on it, or maybe you could agree to him say going on his games consul or p.c. from such a time or maybe ask him to cut down to so many evenings per week so that you and he can have some time together.

You really need to talk this over with him, and come to some sort of agreement or compromise.

Perhaps you could seduce him away from his XBox/p.c. Im sure you would know how being a female. We do have the power to distract a Man if we want to.

Anyway hope this gives you some ideas to mull over for now...

[bamachick2505]

I have no car at the time. And I often keep his niece during the day. But thank you for this advice I will try this. :)

[talaniman]

Why do you sit home all day with nothing to do? You moved in with him to get out of the house, so now your out and need constructive and productive things to do with yourself, like a job, or school. Don't get mad at him for not wanting to entertain you, and don't get mad because he does his own thing after WORK!!

Get a life that makes you happy, and have something good to share with your partner. He may change his whole attitude. That's a better plan than being mad because he likes his games and may get his attention back.

[Lucky098]

Its not his responsibility to entertain you. You seem to be a slug that is not doing anything. He might be getting annoyed with you. Maybe you should get a job and help him pay some bills, even if it is just the TV bill.. Also, why don't you participate in playing an xbox game with him? Why not share in what he enjoys? I'm sure he will return the favor eventually.

Also, he just got home from work. I'm sure he's tired. Let him relax and stop being so whiney.

[BWK10]

Exactly what I was going to say. He's been at work all day, let him come home and relax for an hour or two and give him sometime to unwind from the day

[positiveparent]

Im sure someone else could take care of the niece during the day.

You're only 18, far too young to be staying at home day after day looking after someone's child.

If you were to find a job even a part time one it would give you outside interests and also something to talk with your partner about other than his over use of his Xbox or the p.c.

You're running the risk of making him the centre of your universe and that's not healthy, you need other interests, and going to work would help you get them, then if he's stuck in front of the Xbox or p.c. you could just say Im off out for the evening with so and so from work, he will soon sit up and take notice.

You would also be earning your own money so could eventually get a car and other things you want as well as being more of an equal partner in the relationship.

[redhed35]

have you ever heard the phase 'de brief',when he comes home from work it takes some time for him to come down from work mode and into relationship mode...

the x box is his way of coming down or debriefing.

the other posters are right you need to get busy during the day,and when you come home,you too will need to come down.

as suggested reading you could try 'men are from mars women are from venus' it's a great little book,and gives good insights into men and women.

[bamachick2505]

Thank you for all the answers. I have looked at each of them and I'm trying them. I start school in the fall as a full student. That's why I'm waiting on the job thing so I can see what classes I will be taking. As far as the car hunt. His grandparents are giving me their truck to borrow until I save enough money for my own. The reason I look after his niece is because my boyfriends brother has nothing to do with her. Its always the grandparents that have her. So I look after her during the day while they are at work. I don't mind watching her because I love kids. And I'm very close to her. And there may be a possible chance in the future that me and my boyfriend get custody of her. My boyfriend still lives with his mom and stepdad. And we don't sleep in the same room together. He is in school and is a manager at walmart. We have plans of getting married when I'm done with nursing school. I posted this question because He ignores me when he is on the Xbox or computer. And if I even try talking to him while he's doing that he gets a little frustrated. So I wanted to know what other people thought. I didn't know how it would look from the outside. But thank you for all the answers. I appreaciate them. :)

[sully123]

I think it's very nice of you too watch his niece. It's nice to hear you will be going into nursing school in the fall. Remember, never make a man your priority! Build your life and your career. One day if your alone, you can make it yourself. Don't get on him about Xbox, it's his way of unwinding, from work all day. IF he treats you fine, the rest of the time, just ignore if he plays those games. That's a guy thing, especially at that age.

[J_9]

I'm going to tell you from experience... once you get into nursing school that Xbox will be your favorite thing in the house!

Nursing school is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and you will be thankful that he has that to keep him distracted while you study!

[Cat1864]

I am a bit confused. Is it only when he comes home that he goes for the games and he spends time with you later or is it non-stop gaming after he gets home until he goes to bed?

If it is the non-stop (maybe with bathroom and dinner breaks), then I am sure you aren't the only one in the house who is frustrated. Using gaming to wind down and get some stress out is a good thing. Using it to hide from other responsibilities like talking to other members of the household or dealing with the stress of living at home with his parents and girlfriend and the possible future of a close-to-ready made family is not a good way to handle life.

This is a good time for the two of you to learn better communications and working together especially before he turns 21 and has more options for not coming home. Give him time to cool down. Let the stress of the day go, then have some time later for the two of you. Use the cool down time to let some of your own stress go so that you can enjoy being together. If you learn how to handle it now, it will be a bit easier when you are out on our own and if you do get custody of his niece.

[bamachick2505]

It's the non-stop. Thank you for the advice.