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starbuck8 · Mar 12, 2009, 06:34 PM

I know everyone is talking about Chris Brown and Rhianna right now, and I'm wondering what the teens think about abuse. What is it that you consider to be abuse? Do you know the signs, or the different kinds of abuse? What things have you gone through with your bf's and gf's ? What do you find acceptable behaviour from your bf's and gf's? Have any of you experienced abuse from your bf's or gf's? Tell me your stories. Even if you don't consider it to be abuse. I would like to hear what you think.

XOXOlove · Mar 12, 2009, 07:13 PM

I consider abuse to be when someone hits/touches another person against his or her will. I think what chris brown did to rhianna was abuse and unexceptable. At school I see a lot of guys abuse their gfs but they don't care! Even if they look uncomfortable they don't say anything. I haven't been abused, I just think it's wrong. I also think it's important for girls to understand that even if their bfs touch them in a way that makes them uncomfortable, they are still being abused and shouldn't let anyone do that to them.

starbuck8 · Mar 12, 2009, 07:32 PM

Good for you! What do you think about hearing things the boys says to them other than the physical abuse. Is calling the girl a slut acceptable? Is calling them a fat whore acceptable? Do you or any of your friends put up with verbal or emotional abuse from boys at school? Or out of school, it doesn't matter where.

If a boy called his girlfriend a name and demanded she do something for him, do you or your friends think that is abuse?

If you or one of your friends had a boyfriend that... lets say pulled your hair to get you to leave a party, or someplace you wanted to be, and come with him, because he really loves you, and you need to leave with him. Would you or your friends think that would be abuse?

I'm just wondering what teens think abuse actually is?

barbiechick123 · Mar 12, 2009, 09:56 PM

Well, physical abuse is apparent... like when someone touches another person against their will...

But emotional abuse, that's another story... I feel when someone constantly hurts someone emotionally it can be just as damaging to your health, if not worse.. physical scars can go away, but emotional ones can stay for a long, long, long time. Unfortinately.

starbuck8 · Mar 13, 2009, 01:11 AM

Originally Posted by barbiechick123

Well, physical abuse is apparent... like when someone touches another person against their will...

But emotional abuse, that's another story... I feel when someone constantly hurts someone emotionally it can be just as damaging to your health, if not worse.. physical scars can go away, but emotional ones can stay for a long, long, long time. unfortinately.

You're absolutely right. There is NEVER EVER an acceptable reason for physical abuse, but the emotional and verbal abuse, and the scars it leaves can change who a person is inside! Especially when it's a young person, but it's a horrible thing at any age. Emotional and Verbal abuse are the things that lead to physical abuse in most instances. There have been a number of TV shows on recently, and I was shocked to hear what young people consider abuse! I was also saddened to hear that a lot of people are blaming Rhianna! They are giving excuses like---she hit him first, or she must have provoked him in some way! IT DOESN'T MATTER! It's NEVER all right!

I heard the other day that studies show that one in three girls in their teens have been or will be physically abused, and certainly verbally and emotionally abused by their boyfriends. That's incredibly frightening. Many of these teens think the boys do it because they must love them so much! They believe that their situation is different somehow.

I know there are a lot of teens that are online right now. Who is the one in the three? I want to hear your story!

random_chick · Mar 13, 2009, 05:48 AM

Abuse can come in different forms.
Physical
Mental
Emotionally

Physical - physicall hurting the person. Punching, kicking. But you can also get sexual abuse which is also physical. This is considered very serious because it shouldn't happen. Anyone can be abused by anyone. Maybe a daughter by her father. A pupil by a teacher.

Mental - this abuse is slightly different. This can be anything from telling the person who is being abused something that is really going to hurt them up to silent treatment. Silent treatment can send people crazy. And is very very annoying. Sometimes it depresses people because it makes them stressed out.

Emotionally - this can be abusing there emotions. For example calling the abused a "slag" or something else. It hurts and can sometimes give people a complex

IheartEdward · Mar 13, 2009, 10:47 AM

Emotional abuse can be just as bad a physical violence.

I have a friend who's boyfriend hit her and she was only 14! I thought it was absolutely crazy. But she went to him because 'she loved him'. To me that's sooo stupid.

starbuck8 · Mar 13, 2009, 11:54 AM

Originally Posted by IheartEdward

Emotional abuse can be just as bad a physical violence.

I have a friend whos bf hit her and she was only 14! I thought it was absolutly crazy. But she went to him because 'she loved him'. To me thats sooo stupid.

I hope she is not with still with him, because he WILL do it again if she is and next time will be worse.

Justwantfair · Mar 13, 2009, 12:03 PM

As an emotional abuse survivor, it is a far greater hurdle to overcome.

When someone hits below the belt, it lowers your self-esteem and value. What's worse is as it continues, you will wish they would just hit you, because it would be over, you would physically heal a lot quicker and it is a lot easier to find support from your family. It is very difficult when you turn to your family when you are with an emotional abusive partner/spouse because all they know of him is what they see and what they like. If you don't have the physical scars to show, it is harder to find the support, as I found that my parents still supported my abuser for years after I left.

Sometimes it goes on for so long and it's starts so suddle that you don't even realize where it started and how you ended up clinging to a relationship with someone who talks to you like you are worthless.

I would like to note that I was happy to see that our local high schools are now have domestic violence information sessions.

XOXOlove · Mar 15, 2009, 08:58 AM

I think that girls do feel very damaged by emotional abuse by boys but I think they are just as damaged or sometimes even more damaged when another girl calls her a name because she might not fell accepted as friend to another girl. I think a lot of girls call other girls ugly where ever they go. When I was younger, a lot of girls talked about me when I was around them and would call me ugly. I was very hurt whenever they did that and would rather be friends with a boy rather than a girl. I think it is terrible when girls call each other a slut, a whore, a "B", or any other name like that because when they do it's a disgrace to our own gender.

aaron2baby · Apr 6, 2009, 07:52 AM

I was both sexually abused and beaten when I was younger and it still haunts me and until I met aaron it has effect everyrelationship I have had but I see the person that did this to me all the time how am I suppose to move on

Sphira · Apr 6, 2009, 04:11 PM

why are we all focusing on girls i know that we get a lot of well crap and i am a girl who has had a crap bf who cosistantly called me names.

but then boys have their share of abuse like that book a child called it abuse can come from any where.

this girl i knew was prosistuting herself after school and she got into white vans ect and she was only 10
i mean i consider a variety of things abuse like neglect and pain but sometimes you dint know what happens behind closed doors