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Questions2007 · Dec 13, 2008, 05:45 PM

I have been out 3 times with this girl. Pretty standard stuff. We met for a drink on the first date, got on pretty well, thena day or two later I rang her and we arranged to go out again.

The second date was very good, I bought us a nice meal, we kissed at the end of the night, she said she wanted to go out again.

We then had the 3rd date, she bought me dinner, initiats hand holding etc, she had her car so dropped me off at home, we kissed in the car, all very nice. I said maybe we could meet in the week, she said that would be nice. She said she'd drop me a text once home, it is about 30 minutes drive.

She then texts to say she has got home, and that she thinks we can't go out again.

Curious behaviour? I texted back and said OK, no problem if that's what she wanted, but asked if there was a reason. No response as of yet.

Is she acting slightly odd? Thoughts would be appreciated. I quite like her and if she isn't interested, no problem, though if there was something else I may like to know what it is.

Noodles15 · Dec 13, 2008, 06:03 PM

If she said she didn't want to go out again I would respect that and not push the issues further

Although I do think it's unfair of her to not give a reason, but that's life, she doesn't have to, especially this early in the game

Questions2007 · Dec 13, 2008, 06:06 PM

Originally Posted by Noodles15

If she said she didn't want to go out again I would respect that and not push the issues further

although I do think it's unfair of her to not give a reason, but that's life, she doesn't have to, especially this early in the game

True. Although what is the surprising bit is not her saying she is not now interested. If she wants to do that, no problem, it is early in the game as you say. What is the problem is that she initiated all the hand holding etc, and acted as if all was cool.

Anyway, her loss, if she wants to tell me she can. I am old enough to not worry about confused/unbalanced women or time wasters!

TrueFaith · Dec 13, 2008, 06:12 PM

How old is this women?

And yeah that is kind of odd. But people change there mind so fast! Even more so when you are just starting to go out.

Don't take this to heart man.

Give her space and see what she does

Respect though for not crawling on your knees and going

But whyyy we can make this work

;) :) ;)

Noodles15 · Dec 13, 2008, 06:12 PM

Originally Posted by Questions2007

I am old enough to not worry about confused/unbalanced women or time wasters!

I would definitely say that's what she as at this point, confused seems very appropriate

neverme · Dec 13, 2008, 06:14 PM

Em I think this is totally unfair. There's nothing worse than being on the receiving end of mixed signals.

As a woman, or person for that matter I can't understand what the problem is.

I partially disagree with Noodles, I think you should ask again if you get the chance. If for no other reason than to avoid such a situation in the future, and if it becomes difficult pose this as the reason for an answer.

Really though, I can't understand a reason for this, although there may be issues she's trying to deal with herself and that is fine. But an answer is the least you deserve if you have acted like a gentleman.

As an aside, I think there is too much pressure nowadays for people to act like respectfully. Although I agree with respect in all ways, I think it leaves men and women not knowing where the line is. A perfect example is this situation, is it prying to ask or are you entitled to pose questions for this rejection. I say ask, I don't believe it's disrespectful on your behalf, in fact, it's disrespectful on her behalf to not give a reason, whatever that reason may be.

wolfgangqpublic · Dec 13, 2008, 06:14 PM

Yeah, chock this one up as a probable loss. It is strange that she would have tolerated/initiated so much of this stuff and flipped so quickly - but it happens. Is it possible that she was already involved with someone and is worried that they are catching on? Otherwise, she might be pretty mercurial and doing you a favour. Maybe she just wasn't that into it - but again, her initiations...

Questions2007 · Dec 13, 2008, 06:14 PM

Originally Posted by TrueFaith

how old is this women?

and yeah that is kind of odd. but people change there mind so fast! even more so when you are just starting to go out.

dont take this to heart man.

give her space and see what she does

respect though for not crawling on your knees and going

but whyyy we can make this work

;) :) ;)

She is 32. Been single for 6 months. She has been ultra keen. In fact tonight, it was her who initiated the kissing. Makes it seem weird.

Questions2007 · Dec 13, 2008, 06:15 PM

Originally Posted by TrueFaith

how old is this women?

and yeah that is kind of odd. but people change there mind so fast! even more so when you are just starting to go out.

dont take this to heart man.

give her space and see what she does

respect though for not crawling on your knees and going

but whyyy we can make this work

;) :) ;)

Oh yeah, no way am I crawling for any woman. I have done that in the past, how needy! I texted in response, said it was no problem if that's what she wanted, but thought it weird considering how well we got on, and asked if there was any reason. I am doing no more than that.

Questions2007 · Dec 13, 2008, 06:17 PM

Originally Posted by neverme

Em I think this is totally unfair. There's nothing worse than being on the receiving end of mixed signals.

As a woman, or person for that matter I can't understand what the problem is.

I partially disagree with Noodles, I think you should ask again if you get the chance. If for no other reason than to avoid such a situation in the future, and if it becomes difficult pose this as the reason for an answer.

Really though, I can't understand a reason for this, although there may be issues she's trying to deal with herself and that is fine. But an answer is the least you deserve if you have acted like a gentleman.

As an aside, I think there is too much pressure nowadays for people to act like respectfully. Although I agree with respect in all ways, I think it leaves men and women not knowing where the line is. A perfect example is this situation, is it prying to ask or are you entitled to pose questions for this rejection. I say ask, I don't believe it's disrespectful on your behalf, in fact, it's disrespectful on her behalf to not give a reason, whatever that reason may be.

I did ask. But I am not begging or hanging around. There is a difference in my view.

neverme · Dec 13, 2008, 06:19 PM

Oh there is absolutely a difference. I just don't think it's fair to not get an answer and it would bug me but if your OK with it then that's the only person who needs to be! :)

Questions2007 · Dec 13, 2008, 06:24 PM

Originally Posted by neverme

Oh there is absolutely a difference. I just don't think it's fair to not get an answer and it would bug me but if your ok with it then that's the only person who needs to be! :)

I am not sure if I am OK with it or not. If I don't get an answer, then I don't. I will see what happens.

neverme · Dec 13, 2008, 06:28 PM

Ok then, it's not really advice your looking for then is it? You just want to check your not going mad? :)

Suppose it's a bit of a rant on my part but I do believe everything I said. Having said that, I'm from Ireland and as I believe it we don't have the same 'dating system' as Americans do (which is where I am supposing you are from) so maybe my advice is null and void, I don't know!

Questions2007 · Dec 13, 2008, 06:42 PM

Originally Posted by neverme

Ok then, it's not really advice your looking for then is it? you just wanna check your not going mad?? :)

Suppose it's a bit of a rant on my part but I do believe everything I said. Having said that, I'm from Ireland and as I believe it we don't have the same 'dating system' as Americans do (which is where I am supposing you are from) so maybe my advice is null and void, I dunno!

No, I am from England. Same system!

neverme · Dec 13, 2008, 06:46 PM

Lol!

Well then!!

How did you meet her? And what ages are ye?

TrueFaith · Dec 13, 2008, 06:49 PM

32 that is kind of dodgy..

By the way I'm from sutton surrey :)

I would have thought that. She would have at least given you a reason.

But oh well

Your not crazy. I think its odd

Regards

Questions2007 · Dec 13, 2008, 06:57 PM

Originally Posted by TrueFaith

32 that is kinda dodgy..

by the way im from sutton surrey :)

i would have thought that. she would have at least given you a reason.

but oh well

your not crazy. i think its odd

Regards

Exactly. I wanted to make sure I wasn't going totally mad and imagined that if she acted the way she had done, this type of behaviour is now odd.

I am thinking I probably haven't heard the last of this!

Questions2007 · Dec 13, 2008, 06:58 PM

Originally Posted by neverme

lol!

Well then!!!

How did you meet her? and what ages are ye?

We met internet dating. We are both 32.

Up until this odd text from her it was incredibly normal, and going along at a good pace.

neverme · Dec 13, 2008, 07:00 PM

Ya your not going mad. But maybe this was her first time meeting someone form the internet and got freaked.

If that's what it is then I'd say she'll be back :)

Questions2007 · Dec 13, 2008, 07:03 PM

Originally Posted by neverme

Ya your not going mad. But maybe this was her first time meeting someone form the internet and got freaked.

If that's what it is then I'd say she'll be back :)

I can see that if she freaked after the first meeting not the 3rd. Bear in mind we had the second date kissing, hand holding, and 3rd date kissing! That is not nervous!

I haven't heard the last of this, the question is how I respond if she does give me an answer. If it came at the moment I would tell her to pi*ss off and how I hate game players, lol.