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leonclark · Jun 8, 2009, 08:34 PM

What can I do about a jealous, insecure partner I have. We have 2 kids together, and my partner seems to think I have had or cheated in the time we separated, but it is n ot true. My partner searches my car, looks up investigative stuff on the internet, follows me, for no reason. I am so tired, and I feel so drained. I am in college, and it is hard enough, with our 2 little ones, and then there is the partner. I feel like I can not breathe, or relax at all. I can't seem to make this person believe anythng, and this person is so negative. What can I do? I divorced this peson in 2008, because of the personality, and anger issues. But I need advice.

liz28 · Jun 8, 2009, 10:11 PM

No matter what you do or what you say you can't change who he is.

He have problems that only a professional can solve. He is basically stalking you even though the two of you are together.

I couldn't be someone who is so obsessive with the idea of me cheating. He follows you, got spyware, goes through your things, probably got your phone and computer tap--this is enough to drive a person mad. Then you said "he have anger and personality issues".

I think your better out alone but he creeps me out. I think even if you leave him he is going continue doing what he is doing and who knows what a person like him might do or what he is capable of. I seen a lot of stuff on the news lately about guys like him.

For your own sanity leave but be safe. If you stay you can do nothing and he isn't going change.

Gemini54 · Jun 9, 2009, 05:13 AM

It's time to leave. This person is, as Liz said, effectively stalking you, and by doing so he is putting you at risk of emotional and physical harm. Not to mention the children.

Stop trying to make him believe anything. He needs psychological help. The stuff in his head is his problem and you need to leave him to it.

Can you go and stay with family or friends? If he continues to stalk you when you've left, you can take out an intervention order.

Tell someone else what is happening. I urge you to make sure that you and the children are safe.

susangpyp · Jun 9, 2009, 06:27 AM

He sounds like a crazy person. I agree with others who say to leave but stay safe. This guy is a whackadoodle and sometimes the insecurity and jealousy can take an ugly turn. Be safe and be smart!

ZoeMarie · Jun 9, 2009, 06:39 AM

If you got divorced because of personality and anger issues, why did you decide to get back together? It obviously wasn't working out before.

starlite1 · Jun 9, 2009, 06:49 AM

You should stop seeing this person, and let him get help on his own. You cannot carry him anymore, because it will continue to take its toll on you. Of course stay cordial for the child's sake, but for your own sake, you need to not continue the relationship unless he really gets some help and you see results.

liz28 · Jun 9, 2009, 07:46 AM

Also, it doesn't matter if you have kids with him but you left him once before and you see he didn't change. He probably got worse.

He can still be a dad to his kids regardless if your with him or not. They don't need to grow in this type of household. If try not to be involve with them or help you help fiancially you can always take him to court for child support because that is why they are there.

Romefalls19 · Jun 9, 2009, 08:12 AM

He has shown no change, it's time to leave. You gave the best you could but you can't be expected to stay forever

88sunflower · Jun 9, 2009, 08:18 AM

You said it, you already divorced him once. Why did you go back? Your not married any more. You went back and tried it and its not working so leave. What an emotional strain that must be on both of you. I mean he is so obsessed over it that must be all he is thinking and then there is you that can't make a move. Maybe he is so sure your cheating because he is! I always have thought the ones that don't trust are the ones that can't be trusted.