How do I get my boyfriend to be more affectionate?

the1unv · Apr 24, 2008, 08:07 PM

1st off saying I love you is not near as important as him showing he loves you. Has there been a time or two when he has tried to initiate sex and for some reason you have said no? If so he may not try for fear of rejection. Does he reject you when you make the move or are you simply waiting for him to initiate? My ex-wife told me NO all the time.......it took almost two years for me to feel comfortable with making a move on my new wife. Once I felt good about myself again............OH MY.........things were much better.
Mike

serena6878 · Apr 24, 2008, 08:11 PM

There is already an affection when you are together. Do you really love him? I believe you do. So, please don't worry about your concerns. In time, love grows with him. You would have all the happiness between lovers. And next time, naughtily tell him, "In movies, boyfriends kiss their girls passionately, I like that!"
Some real cherishable thing in love is as simple as water.

snowy23 · Apr 24, 2008, 08:38 PM

There have been times where I would make the first move and he'll reject me! That's why I try and wait for him to kiss me first.. We still haven't had sex (he's the one who turns me down!) which is also starting to become a problem in our relationship..so I don't really know what to do. I just want to feel like a "normal couple" and be more affectionate/intimate

rockerchick_682 · Apr 24, 2008, 08:39 PM

Relationships are all about trust. Some people just aren't that affectionate.

If I were in your situation I would ask him something like "I've been feeling really self-conscious about our relationship lately and I was wondering why you've been a little distant?"

Eeek >_< guys are confusing!

katringette22 · Apr 24, 2008, 08:50 PM

I got it oppiste. I have a close friend (i like him allot). We do everything together and it seems to always be us. The odd time we will cuddle up together or give hugs. I've tried asking him out but because of other girls moving and forgetting about him he won't give me a chance....and I know he likes me.Its all about the trust...
Man guys are confusing

ashini · Apr 25, 2008, 12:39 AM

Dear snowy,have you ever tho8 the best part in your relationship is what?its th8 you 2 are together..as girls we do expect a lot of attention and care and intimacy from our loved 1,but its not th8 with boys..they do love us as much as we do,but the only prob with them is th8 they are not as expressive as we girls are....they do love but they hardly express..and in beginning in any relation the feelings are new and hence boys tend to give more,but gradually they kind of decrease it,but that at al doesn't mean there love decrease,in fact they become more serious with us with time.if he doesn't kiss you and if you want him to do that than talk to him..tell him."love I just love it when you kiss me!"nd you give him a kiss...its not th8 only oys shuld kiss rite?and I m sure if you tell him he will understand,oys like it when girls are frank in all matters..and never judge him by his intimacy,I m sre he loves you dear....all the best 4 your life!

simoneaugie · Apr 25, 2008, 01:48 AM

Some people just don't like to kiss. Some are uncomfortable with outward displays of affection. Talk to him about the affection issue in terms with what he was brought up with.

talaniman · Apr 25, 2008, 10:13 AM

http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-s...me-205224.html

I think your trying to move in a direction he may not be ready for. Geez, its only been 6 months, so slow down some, and concentrate on other things relationships are about, besides the physical. He is an older more reserved guy, than the youngsters your probably use to, and that's something you need to understand, as he won't just jump your bones on Friday night, as he wants, and expects, a lot more than just casual, feel good sex. One thing for sure that's obvious, you haven't learned how to communicate, and work together to resolve your issue, and if you don't, sex will be the least of your problems.

SeriouslyAM · Apr 25, 2008, 10:29 AM

Snowy, to be honest I think he's got insecurities of his own, guys are the hardest species to work out at the best of times, but when it comes to having sex most are always "up for it".
I think its nice that he's not always wanting it or asking or w.e
But I also think you need to talk to him about it.
Tell him you'd like him to show more affection, but don't pressure him into anything.
In my opinion, he's either worrying about something
Or he wants to let you know how much he respects you.

How do I get my boyfriend to be more affectionate?

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