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Marrion123 · Jan 16, 2008, 04:41 AM

I met this girl about five month's ago, we hit it off and things were great. Later she told me that earlier in her life she had a threesome with two guys. After hearing this we had a conversation and I made it clear that I did not want to know about past experiences. I have not been a saint in my life but I didn't want to know about her past. We resolved things and it never comes up anymore, but it crosses my mind all the time. I find myself wondering what else she has done and it kills me. I know I shouldn't judge her but the image is killing me. I am overseas for a while now and I find myself thinking of it more and more. I am asking if anyone out there has been through a similar experience and has gotten through it. I want to get over it without bringing it up again and recapture the image of the "good girl" I had of her when we first met.

simoneaugie · Jan 16, 2008, 05:03 AM

A similar experience, yeah, only I was on the other end of it. When the two of you met, she was a loveable human being. You both were and still are. What screwed it up? Your thoughts. I dumped my guy because I am not my behavior. He just couldn't see that, only his own delineating thoughts.

luis92 · Jun 15, 2009, 08:19 PM

Look, something similar happened to me, and I understand how do you feel, because I've been through this already; what you really need is to sit with her, relaxed, open your mind and ask her about her past relations. Have in mind that whatever she tells you helped her to be what she is. Remember that our past is the one that makes the ones we are now.

luis92 · Jun 15, 2009, 08:23 PM

You can't really go through this without talking about the topic with her; I know that it hurts, but you can also ask her not to give a lot of details; trust me, we all make mistakes. You have to be mature enough to get face-to-face with the monster, look at it right in the eyes, and yell "I'm not afraid of you!" instead of putting a blanket over it and pretend that it never happened.

doesntwantit26 · Jun 18, 2009, 04:30 AM

I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now. I'm in the same situation as you. He has told me a lot about his past and every time it would come up I would get upset and angry. Now I'm just telling you from my experiences that if you don't let the threesome go and forget about it, the relationship is going to be in a lot of trouble. Once I had found out what my boyfriend used to be like I didn't trust him for nothing, but after numerous conversations about it and realizing that he didn't do anything to me and that he's not that person who used to do stuff like that anymore. I slowly through time started to trust him more and more. So my advice would be to sit down and talk about it with her. I fell like that's the only way your going to get it out of your mind and learn to completely trust her. I know you said you resolved things, but in my opinion it's not resolved.

eduman12 · Aug 20, 2009, 02:30 AM

Yea, yea, yea- to doesntwantit26,
If you could sit with her and open your mind to the idea that her sexual experiences mad her the lovable persone she is today then you wouldn't have the issue your having.
I did experince this same thing and it freaked me out for months. I started dating a girl and things were moving really fast and I had all these feelings for her and then I found out she had dated one dude and he and their co-work and herself had a 3some and I could not get it out of my mind. There is noeasy way to tell you this, but if there had to be some other things leading up to this that were similar. Maybe she slept with 2 or 3 guys in the same day or maybe she did a paertner switch in the same room one night with these guys. She did not have 1 freaky experience and went straight for the 3some and then decided to be good girl. She is lovable no doubt, she is human who made mistakes, she told you because she wanted you to know from her own lips and not because her name is being mentioned at a party. It took me a long time to get over it maybe 2 years. I knew though the moment I heard that, that was not what I wanted for myself. So you decide now and save yourself the agony. The threesome is never going away, logicaly there is a lot more too, so do you say screw it and be her man or say I will find someone with out such a shady past.

TheDevilsAngel · Mar 28, 2012, 03:52 AM

As you have said, you are not a saint either. Moreover, does it matter much if she has had sex with one or two or three guys. At the end of the day she had sex. And It's quite evident, you've laid a few women too. So, just accept the past and judge her only by her current traits. If you have reasons to believe you that she must be cheating on you. Keep a vigil and catch her red handed. If you don't see such reasons, just bury her past and look forward to a healthy relation.
-DeAn