[iamsad]

Is it okay to wait for someone that has boyfriend ?

Here's the details.

When I asked the girl out for a drink, she thought about it for awhile ( not pub, just some coffee shop )
Moments later, she said no and she don't want to cheat on her current boyfriend
We both have kind of good relationship ? We do talk when we meet , and I often text with her.
Whenever she has problem in her studies, she comes to me and asked about it
She never said how much she loves her boyfriend ( who is at other places for studies currently ) , but she just mention that she doesn't want to cheat on him.
She did told me about don't text her too much or else her boyfriend would know about it

Here's my question
I'm not asking the ways to steal her from her boyfriend.
I don't sabotage their relationship , I just try to be a part of her life ( close friend )

Will it be fine for me to wait for her ? I really wish things won't end here so fast.
I mean if she breaks with her boyfriend, then only I will go for it .
I'm not into sabotaging their relationship , I want to let her know that I'm willing to wait for her and let her to choose her own choice without forcing.

[JK191]

Harshness alert

So you're willingly being a backup boyfriend for this girl?

Say, if you do start a relationship with her after she and her boyfriend break up and she wants to date someone else, will you let her?

If she never breaks up with her boyfriend, how long will you wait?

What I'm trying to say is, why are you planning to give this girl so much of your time (which could be spent on other girls who might want to be with you right now) when she obviously won't break up with her boyfriend for you?

Do you really want to be a second choice? Or just a rebound relationship?

Give yourself some self-respect and either man up and make a move on her or stay as her friend, forget the romantic feelings for her and date someone else.

If you plan on being her backup, well, have fun not being respected, have fun being walked over and definitely have fun being hurt by her. (In the offchance that you do get into a relationship with her)

[namine]

You can't do anything to make her yours because her heart is set on the other guy. She's a loyal girl. You CAN be a part of her life, you can be her right-hand man to come to with problems. If she has anything she would like to share, you should listen to her.

I don't suggest you to wait for her. You'll never know how long you have to wait for her. Even if she breaks up with her boyfriend, she might not hook up with you.

As a close friend, you should respect her decisions. When she said don't text her too much, you should. If you push her too hard, she might be afraid of you and ignore you.

- I hope that helps :)

[Just_Another_Lemming]

Perfect response.

[iamsad]

How about if she's the one give up that relationship and give a chance ?
I not mean I force , just like when about 2 -3 months I never contact her ,suddenly she finds me back . How I going to handle this one ?

[I wish]

Here's a guide that should give you some insight: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ip-463250.html

She made her feelings clear. She wants to keep some distance from you. So don't push her anymore. Asking you for help with school is a clear sign that she just sees you as a friend. If she had feelings for you, you can be sure that she wouldn't be asking you for help in school. She would spend time having fun with you instead.

Furthermore, why would she talk to you about her boyfriend? She obviously knows that you have feelings for her, why would she rub it in more? Do you really need her to put more salt in your wound?

There's no problem waiting for her, but keep in mind that she may never break up with him.

[kctiger]

Personally I wouldn't think much of a friend who stuck by me for the sole chance that they may get to date me. That isn't friendship, it is being a vulture.

I think you would be wise to find other dating avenues and other opportunities for social activities, as your feelings for her will always have an impact on your perceived friendship with her. That isn't fair to you, or to her.

[iamsad]

So, you guys mean that I should not do anything to sabotage their relationship and just be neutral and react correctly according to the response ?

[I wish]

So you're considering sabotage?

Where is your integrity?

Do you really want to be known as a girlfriend stealer?

Is that really how you want to start a relationship?

Do you really think that's romantic?

[Cat1864]

i'm not into sabotaging their relationship , i wanna let her know that i'm willing to wait for her and let her to choose her own choice without forcing.

Letting her know how you feel is a form of sabotage. It is designed to make her question her relationship and if she told her boyfriend to have him question her commitment to him.

She belongs with him. IF for some reason in the future THEY choose not to be a couple, she will time and space to heal from the break up and to unpack the emotional baggage that piles up in a relationship. She will need time and space to decide what she wants in a relationship without influence from other people.

You need to let go of a fantasy that keeps you from fully interacting with the available females around you. You have blinders on that won't let you see the woman standing next to you who might be a better match for you than your infatuation seems to be.

Be careful that her main attractive quality isn't her unavailability.

[Homegirl 50]

So, you guys mean that I should not do anything to sabotage their relationship and just be neutral and react correctly according to the response ?

We are saying you should leave her alone. Don't wait around for her, don't tell her how you feel about her, don't do anything that might cause a rift in her relationship.
We are saying you need to pursue other interest, other girls that don't have a boy friend