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Yamilet08 · Jun 1, 2010, 05:35 AM

Moved to its own thread

My boyfriend dump me after 2 years n 6 months and yet he said that he need time. Less then two months he was with someone else and it happens to be his best friend :'( it was sad to see that. I started to hang out with my friends and stuff and I to move on and I did for a few months then later I saw something that remind me of him and then I started to get worst again I don't know what to do anymore I try my best to forget about him I don't hate him at all but it was really sad that in less then 2 months he just drop everything. He had a FB and then he took it out he had a myspace and took it out that is how I saw that they where together. And know he has not FB or myspace its like he those not live anymore I don't know what to do I know I don't wanted him back but how do I forget this how do I stop the pain from coming back. My friends wanted me to date another guy but I'm not over my x what should I do I need help please.

cindychick06 · Jun 1, 2010, 05:43 AM

I would say go out on another date. In my opinion it's good that he deleted his FB and Myspace because then you would just continue to go back and check up on him which is something I'm sure you don't want to do. I just went through something similar to this where the guy deleted me from Facebook and it was a good thing because now I don't have to see him on there anymore. I would go out and try to enjoy the company of other guys, I'm sure your not ready for another serious relationship but just talking and hanging out will bring yourself esteem back up and make you feel better so that you can finally move on completely. Keep your head up... things get better!! :D

talaniman · Jun 1, 2010, 05:46 AM

The pain goes away when you have had enough time and things to do to rebuild a life that you enjoy without him. That's all it is just time and having activities and friends.

Just because you have pain when you are reminded of him, doesn't mean you stop whatever your doing to dwell on it. That's the time to get up, and focus on something else.

Sorry for your loss, but read the stickies for coping strategies that can really help.

Yamilet08 · Jun 1, 2010, 05:49 AM

Thank you cindychick06 thanks and my friend shadow has change everything but he like me and stuff and I'm not ready. And yea trying to see if he is OK make me sad I can see his girlfriend fb not get in it but at see her pic so yea. His best friend text me but I didn't reply I don't wanted anything that has to do with them at all maybe I'm taking this out on them since we be came friend because of my x but is hard when someone you love n trust the most leaves you like this I don't know what to do no more. Sometimes I wanted to move from state but I don't know if thas the best solution what do you think?

Yamilet08 · Jun 1, 2010, 05:53 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

The pain goes away when you have had enough time and things to do to rebuild a life that you enjoy without him. Thats all it is just time and having activities and friends.

Just because you have pain when you are reminded of him, doesn't mean you stop whatever your doing to dwell on it. Thats the time to get up, and focus on something else.

Sorry for your loss, but read the stickies for coping strategies that can really help.

Thank you so much its been almost 5 months and I still feel sad I don't know what is good any more I don't know why he did this to me. When we where friends he chooce between myself and someone else n choose her then they broke up n he came back and ask me out n I took him maybe that was my mistake for taking him back. And after 2 years n 6 months he just decided to drop everything why?

cindychick06 · Jun 1, 2010, 06:01 AM

Originally Posted by Yamilet08

Sometimes I wanted to move from state but I dont know if thas the best solution what do you think?

No, I do not think this is a good idea. I'm sure you have friends and family there, you will need them to pull you through. Besides you shouldn't leave somewhere you call home just because of a hard break up, because moving away will only make things harder. Just hang tight things to get easier with time. Don't let his new relationship hurt you, be happy for him, and worry about you, go out and find a new friend that makes you happy, or a group of friends for that matter. I wouldn't look at his gf's FB anymore, it will continue to hurt and make you more upset seeing the pictures and stuff. :) things will work out!

talaniman · Jun 1, 2010, 06:06 AM

Well you have to admit he seems to always have an eye out for greener pastures so see this as a blessing in disguise. You will recover in time though once you start to ENJOY doing your thing without him.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 1, 2010, 12:01 PM

You may never know the why but with time you will feel better, not miss him.
Go out and have fun do things you enjoy doing. That and time is what will help you.

Yamilet08 · Jun 2, 2010, 09:12 AM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You may never know the why but with time you will feel better, not miss him.
Go out and have fun do things you enjoy doing. That and time is what will help you.

Thank you and I will try my best to be happy thanks a lot :)

Yamilet08 · Jun 2, 2010, 06:05 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Well you have to admit he seems to always have an eye out for greener pastures so see this as a blessing in disguise. You will recover in time though once you start to ENJOY doing your thing without him.

Thank you so much for everything :)

Yamilet08 · Jun 2, 2010, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by cindychick06

No, I do not think this is a good idea. I'm sure you have friends and family there, you will need them to pull you through. Besides you shouldn't leave somewhere you call home just because of a hard break up, because moving away will only make things harder. Just hang tight things to get easier with time. Don't let his new relationship hurt you, be happy for him, and worry about you, go out and find a new friend that makes you happy, or a group of friends for that matter. I wouldn't look at his gf's FB anymore, it will continue to hurt and make you more upset seeing the pictures and stuff. :) things will work out!!

Thank you so much for everything your right I need to stup hurting myself :) ;)

Homegirl 50 · Jun 9, 2010, 06:48 PM

Good girl!

Yamilet08 · Jun 10, 2010, 11:11 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Good girl!!

Thanks so much I'm more happy then ever :D

Yamilet08 · Jul 23, 2010, 11:55 AM

Hey guys I just want to say thank you for everything. I'm doing so much better after 6 months of not being with my x. Now I been haning out with a friend well we are like kind of going out but not officially then after like 3 weeks I saw the guy I used to like before being my x girlfriend and while going out with him. He likes me and stuff and everything time he text me I get happy but with my other "friend" I like him and we get along every well but I don't know I want to get to know the other guy but this "friend"gets mad because he thinks he will loses me he loves me and stuff but I don't know what to do. I like him and I think I love him just a bit, But the only reason why I don't want to be his girlfriend is because I'm scared to be in a relationship righ now please help any advice. Should I get to know the other guy we stop talking for 2 years or so we saw each other now n then not as much because our family knows each other so yea. I really need advice what do I do?

Homegirl 50 · Jul 24, 2010, 08:09 AM

I think you need to slow down.
Talking to someone and getting to know them does not mean relationship.
You are just getting over one, please don't jump back into another.
If you are confused it's because you are not ready, you want to date for the sake of dating, not because you really like the guys, either of them.
You don't owe a guy anything just because he thinks he loves you, you don't love him. He does not own you.
If you are not girl friend and boy friend, you are free to talk to whom ever you like. Do it!
Don't jump from the skillet into the frying pan. In other words, you just got out of a sticky and bad situation, you're just beginning to heal, do knowing jump into another sticky situation.

Yamilet08 · Nov 21, 2010, 11:52 PM

Hello guys long time after long months of not being connected but I would like to first of all say thank you to all of you all that help me out. Well I took everyone's advices but now I need some extra help. So after being single for 6 months I started dating the guy I told you all about and he is the best guy he is amazing and the whole entired word. We have been together for 3 months and my parents love him a lot and his family loves me too. Well a few weeks ago he told me that I sometimes talk to him like if I was talking to my x and that sometimes I was distance from him and that he hates the fact I talk about my x when I'm with him. And he feels that I'm comparing him to my x I try to tell him is not like that but how can I stop this? Now and then yea I feel that I'm talking to my x depending on the situation please help me out I want to be able to be with him and respect him like he respects me. I hope to heard from you all soon :)

Homegirl 50 · Nov 22, 2010, 09:24 AM

Why are you talking about your ex to this guy? Are you truly over him? 6 months is not a long time to be single and 3 months is like trial period for dating.
Maybe this guy is having these feelings because you are not over your ex.
You cannot go into a new relationship and have it work if you are still carrying baggage from the old one.

talaniman · Nov 24, 2010, 04:18 AM

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Homegirl 50 again.

Think before you act or speak. Lets be honest, you have gone from a failed relationship and tried to have another one before you have properly healed from the last one, and on top of that you have rushed into this relationship after only 3 months of talking to this fellow again. How can you even think to replace your ex in this manner, and when part of you still remembers the past so well? You can't! You have moved too fast, and made this a rebound to get over the past, before you are ready for something new.

Be honest with yourself, and recognize you need more time to get your own self together, so you can have a healthy relationship again, and the past old fears won't keep popping up getting in your way. You are using this guy to make you feel better for now, but it prevents you from seeing you are not ready for an exclusive, committed relationship. Surely not after only 3 months of talking, and dating.

Yamilet08 · Apr 28, 2011, 08:33 PM

Hello everyone is been a while since I got here but I will like to tell you guys da I'm in a relationship for almost 8 months it gets bad n den but we are still together; ) I was single for 7 months but I'm currently happy thanks for all of your advices; )

amicon · Apr 29, 2011, 01:37 AM

Good luck!