My ex used to do that to me. I finally called his bluff and moved out. He was incensed. I asked him why? Since I was such a liability to him, one would think he would be pleased I left. Only then would he consider a marriage counselor. Before that it was always me who had the problems, since I was so stupid.

You are sharp enough to be able to care for yourself, if that does come to be. If he refuses counseling, you go - for your own mental health. Make plans for the event you do need to leave. You might need that ace up your sleeve.