I don't think you to have adjusted to the new schedule, that having kids brings into the marriage, at the least not adressed the communication problem. You are settling and reacting, not working together. You enable his selfish behaviour, and say or do nothing? That has to change. Not putting blame all on you, but he needs an attitude adjustment. Actions are the perfect way to make a point, when you have someone who is selfish, and refuses to pay attention. When he turns to watch TV, in the middle of sex, let him know that you are pissed, it should be off anyway. When his actions are not okay, make sure he knows you aren't happy. Back away from his pleasure, until he is more willing to pleasure you. This is your husband, and you need to be able to express yourself to him, and he to you. Three kids can cause a resentments in some men, when the must share time, when they are used to having it all.