Thank you for reading my post. I know in my head everything you are saying is true and as for killing myself I don't really think I could do it. I guess I have just made him my world and I don't know how to change that. To ansewer questions 1. Yes, I am his real mom and 2. His dad works a lot and really only see's him at night and on weekends. Sometimes I do feel as if I am an only parent but I don't see that as an excuse. There are plenty of only parents in this world, I'm not any different then them.
I know he is trying to individualize and that means he wants time alone, he wants to make his own decisions and suffer his own consequences and if I were a good mother I would be able to deal with that. Somedays I can, most days I can't and we end up in a fight and I think sometimes he smarts off and acts like he does because I am smothering him. See, I know what is going on but in the heat of the moment I loose it. I know 16 years into it is a little late to say I don't think I can handle this but I am really starting to think I can't.