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    shanesbabygirl's Avatar
    shanesbabygirl Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 1, 2010, 12:23 AM
    What can I do to make my man be more interested in having sex with me?
    I've been with my partner for almost 4 years and we have a 2 year old son. I'm 20 and he is 22, up until October last year our sex life has been good, he used to want to have sex and help me orgasm but now he climbs on once a month, maybe twice, finishes in under 5 minutes then climbs off and falls asleep. (there is no foreplay, no kissing, no passion) and he leaves me to "finish" myself off.

    He works a lot and when he comes home from work he plays his xbox all afternoon, barely paying any attention to me or our son. I don't understand what's going on anymore with him. I try to talk to him about all this but he just gets so mad and we have a huge fight. I understand working so much could be damaging his libido, but if he has time to rack his brain cells at the stupid xbox, he has time for me!

    I feel bad that sexual satisfaction means something to me in this relationship but it does I feel deprived, yet he cums every time and I think it's very selfish of him.
    I mean we are only young and I feel like he has the libido of an old man, I feel really used by him.
    We love each other, we say it all the time, we used to get along really well.

    He likes to cuddle up to me in bed, or cuddle me in the shower in the morning before our son gets up and something a little sexy starts, he gets out, our passion or excitement stops before it could escalate into something like he isn't attracted to me anymore.

    I don't get it, I wonder if he is cheating on me and would feel guilty to the other woman for sleeping with me?

    What can I do to spice things up between us?
    I've tried, sexy outfits, dressing up really nice for when he gets home, sleeping nude, talking dirty, sending naughty messages to him while hes at work about what I wanna do to him or photos...I've bought adult games. I'm at a loss here.
    I really didn't think at the age of 20 I'd be asking for help with my sex life but I NEED SOME HELP IM GOING INSANE!!
    I love him more than anything and don't want to leave him because of terrible sex. :(
    kutocer's Avatar
    kutocer Posts: 59, Reputation: 12
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    May 1, 2010, 01:04 AM

    This has some meaning to me as I was that man to my partner and I look back and know what a complete numpty I was. You need to sit down and talk to him and tell him this could be his last chance. I don't want you to go through what I put my partner through. You could point him to my post in here so he can see what can happen and is happening right now.
    Look for "I made her fall out of love with me" I'm not saying he has done what I have done but could open his eyes up that if he does love you he could lose you if he does not change the way he is.
    Showme_urmove's Avatar
    Showme_urmove Posts: 319, Reputation: 101
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    #3

    May 1, 2010, 01:39 AM

    hey there, I kind of know how your man is feeling, I was living with my ex for about a year, sex became like a routine to me, I just don't feel like how I used to feel when we first dated. But I didn't let myself stop me from trying to do something new with her. I did my best to satisfy her even though I don't feel like doing it, But I loved her so much I didn't for her. As for you man, I kind of do think that he is seeing someone else, but I can't say that for sure till you catch him from doing it. If he really do love you the way you said he does, then he will do everything to his power to fix the situation and get to F*^% you the way he used to. If he gets mad, or defensive then he might be seeing some else. Each guy are different so you can't say that for sure. It might just be his thinking that, you guys have 2 kids together and that your always going to be there so aslong as he gets release then that's enough. Talk to him in a nice tone of voice and explain your feeling. Good luck!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    May 1, 2010, 07:42 AM

    How about getting yours before he gets his. You get on top for a change, and roll over. Good communications is not limited to the kitchen table, its just as important in the bedroom as well.

    Sexual disconnection is usually more an indication of trouble in another area of a relationship, than just the sexual satisfaction, and most guys don't even know that making love to the mind, and the body follows.

    I don't think he is cheating, but needs to know more about what you expect, want, and need in a nice way he can understand.

    Maybe over coffee in the morning, or jumping his bones early before he goes to work. If you always Let him roll over, and sleep, you bear as much blame as he does don't you think??

    There is a way to do things differently without fighting about it, and for sure he has to know that unless both partners are satisfied, then no partner will be happy. Believe it or not, your both still learning each others ways and will for a long time to come, as in forever, but you have to pay attention to each other, to know what adjustments to make and how to make them that benefits you both.
    MM93's Avatar
    MM93 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Apr 24, 2012, 12:24 AM
    I am having the sam Issue from the guy I have been seeing for 6 months. When we first got together he loved sex,but now we have sex once a month only!! I have never been this sexually frustrated... I don't know what to do?? I am usually a modest person but what the heck I am just going to come out and say it I have even turned to porn for the first time ever... so I know exactly what you are going through... He always complains he is tired after work but so am I but I still want passion... He says sex can ruin things that he wants to just hang out too.I have tried everything still no response :( I hope you are having better luck now,than I am.

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