Dude, this post makes you sound like a complete stalker! I know it's hard letting go of something you dearly love but sometimes it has to be done. You need, sorry you HAVE to stop having contact with this girl. You are completely obsessed and need to STOP. You are hurting yourself and no one else dude. Please get some counseling as this problem seems not to be between you two, or her, it is YOURS. You have to know where to draw the line on this type of things and you have ran through that line. CONTROL YOURSELF! She has no interest in being with you and you need to let her go. Work on your own emotional issue first before trying to go after her again, even though I would HIGHLY recommend for you not to do so. I believe this relationship is WAYYY past the point of reconciliation because with you actions post break up have been so severe and you have completely pushed her away. Get yourself some professional help before you get another restraining order because if you don't we will be seeing you again in the future with the next girl.