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16girl12 · Jan 1, 2010, 07:07 AM

I was molested when I was 8. Like he touched me sexualy but when I told my friend he had said ohh I guess that's not a big deal... and I was flipping out cause I'm 16 now ans I still have nightmares but it only happened once and the guy isn't in jail. He told
My parents what he did and then I just recently found him on a social
Network (myspace). So I guess he never went to jail, which makes me feel worse. Im in to drugs which I'm not proud of and I just can't trust anyone cause he was 18 at the time ans like my best friends I looked up to him. Im just wondering if maybe its not a big deal and I need to get over it?.

N0help4u · Jan 1, 2010, 07:19 AM

Go get help from counselling. If your parents didn't press charges when you told them then there is no way that he would be in jail. You need to find ways to handle it and move on with your life the best you can and counselling will help. I don't think you can do anything legally after all these years.

tickle · Jan 1, 2010, 07:21 AM

The only way you are going to find closure for this horrendous act and move on with your life is report him. Yes, you still can and it is a shame you didn't in the first place. You will have to know he is going to pay for your suffering. Talk ti a counsellor at school about this and get started on a better part of your life. You ow it to yourself, you have to try.

Tick

excon · Jan 1, 2010, 07:25 AM

Originally Posted by 16girl12

Im just wondering if maybe its not a big deal and i need to get over it?..

Hello 16:

It IS a big deal - AND you need to get over it. Seek professional help if you can't do it on your own.

excon

jmjoseph · Jan 1, 2010, 07:28 AM

You should get counseling, and tell your parents, or some adult that you know will do something about it.

The last thing you want to do is use drugs to mask the feelings that you are having.

Start the new year off right, and do something about this.

God bless you.

16girl12 · Jan 1, 2010, 07:59 AM

I've been to prof help and I can't do it cause I can't talk about its eating me up inside and the last time I went I sat there watching my parent cry... and I blame my mom and dad cause they never did anything to get him introuble and then I blame myself because I just laid there, I didn't even say no, just pretending to sleep so he would stop.

excon · Jan 1, 2010, 08:26 AM

Originally Posted by 16girl12

the last time i went i sat there watching my parent cry...

Hello again, 16:

I'm not talking about FAMILY therapy. I'm talking about YOUR therapy. I agree with you. Your parents are BROKEN and you can't fix 'em. Fix yourself.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't love your parents, even though they did wrong. But, don't live there any longer than you have to.

excon

Fr_Chuck · Jan 1, 2010, 08:29 AM

To get help, you have to start helping yourself by talking to professionals about it, And what in heavens name were your parents doing in the room when you had this counseling, I would say you need a different couselor personally,

Also to some I will say that if he merely touched but did not have sex, they may not see it as a big deal but that is thiere issue and they may not understand the trouble it has caused you.

Next you can ask your mom and dad if they pressed charges ( called the police) and if they did not ask them why also.

Next why are you "looking" for him on a social networking site ?

As for jail, he may have, it has been 8 years, and he would not have been in that long

16girl12 · Jan 1, 2010, 08:53 AM

I wasn't looking for him... hello
I'm not a creeper his friend was at my house he was on his myspace and I saw him as one of his friends. And so your saying finguring is just touching... ohhh OK fr.. chuck you just kind of made me feel worse

excon · Jan 1, 2010, 09:05 AM

Originally Posted by 16girl12

ok fr..chuck u just kinda made me feel worse

Hello again, 16:

Let's be clear. He said TO SOME it was just touching... And, TO SOME it was, like maybe your parents. It just isn't HIS position.

You can feel good now.

excon

Fr_Chuck · Jan 1, 2010, 10:00 AM

I am sorry but I am trying to find out the entire story, without enough facts we either assume or ask, notice the?? Marks on some lines.

So. How old is this other person, since you said, this person was a "friend" of your "friend" were they also 8 or so when you were 8.

I had an assumption that this was a older person when it happened

16girl12 · Jan 1, 2010, 08:20 PM

I found out about the myspace thing last year 2009 and the man that hurt me's friend was at my house was a friend of my parents so he's like 20 ish just like my abuser is now. Its basically like a hush hush thing we don't want to talk about it because he has a great life nice gob so no one wants to talk about it

jmjoseph · Jan 1, 2010, 08:55 PM

I don't care how wonderful his life is, or if he is a brain surgeon. He molested you. An act that is illegal, repulsive, and wrong by any culture's standards. He should be held responsible. How do we know that he hasn't re-offended?

Your parents should be ashamed of themselves.

There is no way that any responsible parent would choose another person's reputation over their children's mental health, and overall welfare.

Please seek counseling.

If your parents won't help you, talk to a school counselor, teacher, or even the police.

This guy should be punished to the fullest extent.

I wish you the best.

cdad · Jan 2, 2010, 05:00 PM

Originally Posted by 16girl12

I wasnt looking for him...hello
im not a creeper his friend was at my house he was on his myspace and i saw him as one of his friends. And so your saying finguring is just touching...ohhh ok fr..chuck u just kinda made me feel worse

This doesn't make too much sense. So Im going to try to review it. HIS friend was at YOUR house ? That would make his friend around 26 and your still 16. HIS friend shouldn't be anywhere near YOUR house. Let alone a computer that you have access to. What's really going on here ?

16girl12 · Jan 2, 2010, 05:38 PM

Ok srry I know it doesn't make sense I'm just worried that my parents will find out I wrote on here and ill get introuble. Its not his friend its one of his family members who's friends with my parents so I was just there. And he/she is older then 26, and this person knows what happened but didn't do anything about it ethier just like my parents and uts getting really akward cause there coming over more like nothing happened.

Im so srry I lied about the age and the friend thing I just don't want them to know I wrote about it cause I think they think I just forgot cause I won't talk about it

Fr_Chuck · Jan 2, 2010, 05:46 PM

OK what age were you when you were molested, and how old was he.

Another 8 or 10 touching another 9 or 10 is a lot different than a 16 year old touching a 8 year old.

And is this person a family member ?

If you can not give us a honest correct info, we get assuming many wrong things

16girl12 · Jan 2, 2010, 05:53 PM

Im really srry I was like 6 or 7 my abuser who's not really family but just was closer was like 17 or 18 when he abused me.
Does that make more sense srry conffuzing I know
But now I'm 16 and he's like I don't know don't feel like doing math 20 something