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    kryptonightengale's Avatar
    kryptonightengale Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 4, 2006, 01:52 PM
    My boyfriend won't have sex with me or let me touch him.
    I'm 20 turning 21 in about 2 weeks. My boyfriend is 25 almost 26. We've been dating for a year December 9th and moved in together about 3 months ago. When we first started dating we were having sex almost 6 times a day. He couldn't keep his hands off me. After about a month it slowed to 3 or 4 times a week. Which was fine with me. Then after a about 3 months wee we're only doing it about once every 3 weeks. Problems really started when he would only have sex with me if I really pushed and he got drunk first. We had sex on our 6 month anniversary only because I pushed for it and he got really drunk first, a full 3 months went past before we had sex a again. This time he wasn't drunk but he asked if I was happy when he finished then turned over and went to sleep. So now it's been 5 1/2 months and we've only had sex once. I keep asking him if I'm doing something wrong or if he's no longer physically attracted to me. He always tells me no, he loves me, I'm his world and that he thinks I'm beautiful. In the past he has been very sexually active, has had many girlfriends, and has admitted to me that he has cheat on almost all of his previous girlfriends with sometimes up to 3 different girls. His friends and Ex's have confirmed this. I know he's not cheating on me though. Over the last 3 years he's become very anti-social he goes to work for a few hours a day, comes home and sits in front of his computer playing games for 12- 20 hours straight then goes to bed. It's the same thing everyday. He hates clubs, doesn't like bars, or large groups of people. When I ask him why he doesn't want to have sex he always says he's not in the mood or he's tired. Even when he's had 3 days off work and all he's done is sit on his computer all day... he's still tired?! He still looks at internet porn almost every day.I'm a very willing girl. I've tried wearing lingerie and sexy outfits and sexy notes,I'll do things in the bedroom for my guy most girls wouldn't. I get hit on :confused: allot by other guys so I guess I'm fairly attractive given most of them are just interested because I have natural 46DDD breasts, but yet my own guy isn't interested and that makes me feel very unattractive. I've told him this, he just says I'm sorry and says he'll try,but nothing ever changes. It's gotten to the point that if I even try to initiate sex or touch him below the waist he pushes my hands away and gets upset. Am I doing something wrong? What can I do to make my guy interested in me again?
    Brittanyiscool's Avatar
    Brittanyiscool Posts: 15, Reputation: 3
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    #2

    Nov 4, 2006, 02:14 PM
    Oh honey, I've been in your boat completely. I was dating this guy for almost 3 years, and just like you - at first sex was REALLY important... then it wavered down (which is NOT unusual) Once you get into the "swing" of things in a relationship with someone, and you settle into a groove... you tend to calm down on the sex too. However - I too was fine with doing it a couple times a week - and then it went to once every couple weeks - and then it went months - I tried everything possible, I was practically begging to no avail. As much as I hate to say it - It's not a good sign. I noticed when it started to waver, so did the relationship - it makes you feel lowly to have to beg for attention, and as much as people say sex isn't important, it really is. You need to sit down and have a long talk about it.
    rkim291968's Avatar
    rkim291968 Posts: 261, Reputation: 34
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    #3

    Nov 4, 2006, 02:39 PM
    Drop your current BF and find another one.
    phillysteakandcheese's Avatar
    phillysteakandcheese Posts: 973, Reputation: 356
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    #4

    Nov 4, 2006, 09:36 PM
    I stand by my previous advice here.
    letmetellu's Avatar
    letmetellu Posts: 3,151, Reputation: 317
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    #5

    Nov 4, 2006, 10:25 PM
    Girl pack up all of your things and move somewhere. If all of this happened in such a short time, it will not be long till he does not even want you around. He is a cheater and this is just the first stage of changing sex partners for him. You know he is a cheater. He has admitted it and his friends have confirmed it and he probably cheated on someone to be with you. Find you a guy that will love your 46 DDD and make you an important part of his life.
    sensualambiance's Avatar
    sensualambiance Posts: 6, Reputation: 0
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    #6

    Nov 4, 2006, 11:58 PM
    Girl You Need To Pack Your Bags I Would Say To. He Is Not Giving It To You Because He Is Sleeping With Someone Else. He Is A Man And To Go For Five Months And Only On Time. Either It Is Another Woman Or A Man And That Is The Bottom Line. Believe Me Get Out Of This Relationship Now. He Is Using You To Be At Home Cooking And Cleaning For Him While He Wines And Dines And Has Sex With Another Female.
    sweetiepie's Avatar
    sweetiepie Posts: 1, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    Dec 13, 2006, 04:21 PM
    I know EXACTLY what you're going through... I have the exact problem happening with me right as we speak. The only difference is, that my boyfriend hasn't been with any other women... and so therefore hasn't cheated on anyone before. But I too have tried the sexy outfits and everything, only to be rejected. I've even gone as far as to ask him if he's gay.
    I'm about ready to call it quits with him if things don't change soon.
    Presleygall85's Avatar
    Presleygall85 Posts: 50, Reputation: 6
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    #8

    Dec 13, 2006, 04:28 PM
    You Should not have to beg for attention let alone sex. If you are unhappy... leave! You guys have been dating such a short time this should not be happening!! Find someone who will love you internally as well as physically! Sex is very important in a relationship!
    pumibel's Avatar
    pumibel Posts: 84, Reputation: 16
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    #9

    Dec 15, 2006, 06:39 PM
    I don't think I would put up with it this long either. If you have tried to find out what is wrong and he won't tell you, then no one can blame you for leaving- you tried. I would wonder, though, if he is depressed. You say he has stopped going out doing anything social, so how could he be cheating? Loss of sex drive and changes in behavior are a couple of signs of depression. Big breasts won't do anything about that.
    thepretender31's Avatar
    thepretender31 Posts: 8, Reputation: -1
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    #10

    Dec 15, 2006, 07:29 PM
    Its simple.. he got bored and want new chick to go down on her... 6 times a day? Duh
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #11

    Dec 22, 2006, 09:31 PM
    It sounds like he's suffering from depression. He probably needs to see a doctor.
    marie1's Avatar
    marie1 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Jan 9, 2007, 08:01 PM
    It sounds to me like you have a boyfriend who is severely depressed. If I were you and your willing, I would check out some information on depression. Then slowly talk to him about it. Men can be very sensitive about these things though, so good luck. I hope you get the answers you are looking for.
    xfallenangel666x's Avatar
    xfallenangel666x Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Jan 31, 2007, 06:21 PM
    The same thing is happening to me, except my fiancé hasn't ever cheated in the past. He sits on the computer ALL THE TIME (or sleeps) and claims he's too tired to have sex. I don't know WHAT is going on with him. Just hang in there.. . I've tried everything, as you have, to no avail.
    laylow80's Avatar
    laylow80 Posts: 67, Reputation: 3
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    #14

    Feb 5, 2007, 08:04 AM
    There's obviously someone out there who will treat you the way you want to be treated, and actually appreciate the things you do. Your boyfriend might be doing something on the internet you don't know about, maybe he just jacks off so much he never wants the actual thing. And if he would rather sit at the computer and make himself feel good rather than having you do everything possible to make him feel good, that's his choice. He isn't worth it, and if you think he is, try talking to him about it. Tell him that part of loving each other is expressing that love in intimate ways. You just sound like you could have so much better.
    If this isn't at all the problem, what has been going on with him lately? Is there an ill family member? Or what could be on his mind that is really bothering him ? Try to talk to him about it, and get something out of him other than "i just don't feel like it," there has to be a reason he doesn't feel like it..
    iiheartloserrrs's Avatar
    iiheartloserrrs Posts: 16, Reputation: 2
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    #15

    Feb 9, 2007, 10:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by thepretender31
    its simple..he got bored and want new chick to go down on her...6 times a day? duh

    I agree cause my ex had done that to me too!
    I think its his nice way of telling you
    He isn't feeling you anymore?
    He prob. Wants you to break up with him?
    So he doesn't feel bad? I say leave him!
    I guess he doesn't know what he has
    Until he lose it right?
    Troy9212's Avatar
    Troy9212 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Feb 13, 2007, 01:34 PM
    I do not want to sound negative bur when my girlfriend did the same to me I found out later she was having an affair. ;o(
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #17

    Feb 13, 2007, 09:42 PM
    If all a relationship is built on is sex then when it fades there is nothing else to do but move on. He needs help that you can't give, but you knew that in from your first post.
    Jenmickey's Avatar
    Jenmickey Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #18

    Feb 15, 2007, 02:30 PM
    Hi I'm new to this I found it because I was trying to find help to, my boyfriend is exactly the same he lives on a game called eve, were he speaks to loads of different people online who he swears are male not female. Which confused me even more as now I thought he might be gay, I don't know if that has crossed your mind with your boyfriend. My boyfriend also never wants to have sex but used to be mental for it, I thinks I have finally realised the problem they are to comfortable and us begging for sex and attention just lets them think they can behave like this even more, as you said you're an attractive girl go out have fun with your friends don't even try to have sex don't act lovable with him and he will soon realise he needs to change. Make him jealous good luck to you xx
    nero2's Avatar
    nero2 Posts: 51, Reputation: 0
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    #19

    Feb 21, 2007, 10:59 PM
    I think now the most important things now is to chat with me more and understand what he feel this way and why he is acting this way. Say that you really mind this and hope that is it any thing that can improve the situation for it.

    I think communication is the most important key to most problem
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #20

    Feb 23, 2007, 01:44 PM
    Triple D and he only wants to play video games? He either has someone on the side or he has some medical issues. That's so NOT normal for a guy in his 20's.

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