I would maybe try not to be so strict with him. I think the phone & internet rule is a little harsh. As long as he is doing good in school & is not into drugs or alcohol - you are quite lucky if his idea of rebellion is accepting a 9:30 phone call from his mom. I also think your husband should be the main disciplinarian. It sounds to me like this is more of problem between you and your husband.

If I were you - I would suggest you & your husband not give him any money. And after several months of not having any money to do anything - he will probably get a job.

Good Luck.