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Originally Posted by tirednhurt86 thanks for all the ideas-
and chuff, this was the first time I have seen him since like april right after the breakup when I returned his stuff |
But you still appear to be obsessing... I use that word purposly. I don't mean thinking about him or see something that reminds you of him but literally obsessing over him.
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Originally Posted by tirednhurt86 - thanks for your ideas but its a long process for me because 1- I was very dependent on him- which I am working on, |
Good. Please understand I'm not putting you down for this but please keep working on it. I think you need to keep going. Be happy with yourself that your in the 5% of people who recognize they need to change and the 1% who actually do.
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Originally Posted by tirednhurt86 and 2- he was my first true love, I was completely in love with him and we never spent a day apart in the two years we were together ( which I now see was a problem in itself) |
Yep it was. That stuff sounds good when you write it fantasy novels but it is never practical in real life.
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Originally Posted by tirednhurt86 - I was even a part of his family practically and we were talking about engagement with his family included as well- so when he dumped me I was in shock, it was a week after I threw him a surprise party and paid for all his friends and bought him like 1,000 worth of things. Anyhow, these are not excuses- |
Actually I'm going to call you on that and say yes those are excuses. Your trying to rationalize why this happened and those are some of the reasons you believe that he should have not dumped you. Maybe there all true. But it's over.
In all my relationships with women I have been the more dominant spender and when they've ended I've always used that excuse myself. I bought them this or that, there parents loved me, I did things nobody else did for them. But those excuses are based on emotions you had. They were not based on emotions he had.
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Originally Posted by tirednhurt86 but he was emotionally abusive so I don't think 5 months is enough time to be over it-but I am like 80 percent better and working on me for a change- but thank you for your ideas and advice! |
Well, to be honest, I'm not sure how long it should take. I'm not an expert and I'm an extremely emotional person myself but looking back at all your posts it seems to suggest you haven't moved on yet at all in an emotional manner. I don't want to discourage you and in fact I want you to keep posting to seek out advice if you feel you need it. This kind of sucks for me because I can sort of see that your having a hard time and I really don't know the answer but it just seems your taking this break up worse than I would expect after 5 months. Like I said earlier I give you credit for seeking out advice. Good Luck.