Maybe because you've been with him for so long you allowed him to be the same person as he was at 16. I mean obviously with a bit more maturity, but maybe you just allowed habbits that are keeping him the same. He needs to know your not going to stick around if he won't communicate you deserve better if he won't. Ask him again to sit down and talk choose a time when your both free so he has no excuse, tell him you want to sit and talk for at least 15min and if he says no then you want a break. You have to get him to listen and talk if he won't give him an ultimatim. Ask him what he thinks is wrong what you think is wrong how you want to fix things new things you want to do to spice things up, where he see's you two in 2, 5, 10 years. If he won't talk and he won't talk after you told him your fed up and wan t a break if he won't talk for just 15 min at least you'll know for sure his true feelings. Try it in your own way that feels comfortable for your relationship I don't want you making ultimatims if you don't feel comfortable