Me and my boyfriend had been going out for nearly 8 months. We had a really strong, happy relationship, and nothing was going wrongly. Over the last month, we've had a couple of arguments, and when I look back at one of them, it was hardly an argument. But last week he ended it with me, suddenly.

He said to me we "weren't working out" as we supposedly argued all the time. But we only really had 1 argument, and 2 small silly disputes. That is all we had. He seems to think that arguments mean the relationship is not working, but you need arguments for it to work. He also said he never made me happy, which is also not true. I had a phase where I was really down, as I had a very bad issue in school with my "best friend", and she caused me so much grief at that point. He knew all about this, that time was the only point I'd been really down. Apart from that, he has always made me happy... he also said he'd hardly see me next year, as we are on our higher year at secondary. His mum is the one that told him that he would hardly see me, but he would see me as much as he did last year. He just doesn't think that. Beforehand, it never did seem like a problem.

Those were the main reasons for him ending it with me. I still don't get it why he ended it... he was serious about us, and really thought we'd last, as much as I did. He's not the type of person that just says he's serious and not mean it, or say he loved me and not mean it. All my friends were as shocked as I was when he ended it, as everyone knew how well we were as a couple. All my friends who also know my now ex-bf, are all positive that he will change his mind. I have this thought that he will, but I just don't know. He's said that "we can never be together again" :confused:

I know for sure he never dumped me for someone else. && I've also thought it may be due to problems he has; like in his house, as he only has a mother and a sister, who constantly fight with him, a bad past where his mum and dad separated then his dad died && now his grandmother has not long started chemo for her cancer which he's close to and worries about... So I've thought maybe it was due to all the problems he's been having or has been thinking about...

But with the reasons he broke up with me, do you think he will change his mind?

&& is there anything I could do to try and get him back?

I don't know if it's a good idea to be his friend, in case he grows to me as a friend, so there would be no chance of us happening again. Or if I should keep my distance, so he will only think me as I was as a girlfriend, and not as a friend. If that makes sense...

Or should I just keep away from him and let him think and realise for himself?

I agree that I don't think you should be his friend. This is impossible and never works out.

I think for the mean time you need to leave him be. Cease all contact with him and work on yourself. Look after yourself for a while. Hang with friends you may have neglected while with him, be with your family, concentrate hard on school, join a gym.

There are so many things you can do to take your mind of him for now.

You need to look after yourself for the time being. Don't worry about trying to win him back. You can't force someone to come back to you or love you. NEVER!

Let him be and work things out for himself. It is the best thing you can do.
Trust me, I am going through this right now.

Don't look at this situation right now and work out how to get him back. You need to look after yourself and think of what you mayt have done to push him away.

You need to learn from this.

There is a CHANCE he MAY come back. Maybe. But you can't try and do anything to win him back.

However there are things you can do to improve your chances of one day reconciling with him.

The best thing to do is cut all contact. None at all. No text messages, emails, letters... Nothing at all.
Trust me here.

Don't even respond to anything from him. He will be simply seeing if he still has you. You need to realise that he isn't your whole life. Just part.

Move on and enjoy yourself as best you can for now. You will get through it! You will. It hurts but it gets better! But no contact for now!

Everyone on this site will give you the same advice in this situation.

I'm sure he knows you love him. You don't need to keep telling him that. It will only drive him away. Begging, pleading, crying doesn't work. I KNOW.

Leav him be and look after YOU!

Good luck and keep us posted.

I agree with the above post. It's best you just keep your distance because if you try to get him back, you'll only push him further away. I'm sure you have already told him how much you love him and how much you would like to keep the relationship going, so don't worry he knows.

I can't promise you he will come back, but by keeping no contact he may realize that he misses you and want's to try again. In the meantime, begin the healing process and work on yourself.

If all the reasons he gave you for breaking up with you were untrue, then it sounds as though he was simply looking for a way out. Whatever his reasons are, the fact that he said that you can never be together again seems pretty cut and dry, he wanted out and asked for it. Sometimes, when we love someone so much, we tend to ignore some of the simple truths that are right in our face because we don't want to see them for what they are. If he has ended it with you, your best option is to walk away with dignity and don't look back. Skell is right, you need to not have any contact with him whatsoever, for any reason. Even if he were to come back tonight asking you to forgive him, don't jump at it. Take some time for yourself, think things through, would you want someone who could walk away, return and then possibly change his mind again and leave once more. Breaking up once is hard enough.

Focus on yourself. Focus on others who could use your help. Volunteer, take up hobbies, exercise more often, like maybe jogging. Just whatever you do, don't stay home and sulk and don't keep hashing it out in your brain cause it will never go away. Look forward and you will go forward.

We're here for you.

He may not come back but you will have time to get over him and get on with your life. You took for granted that what was fine with you wasn't for him. Don't sit around pining for him just accept you are no longer together and start to build your life around the things you enjoy and must do to improve yourself, school, hobbies, sports, work.Stay off that oh wo is me act. It will do you no good.

Nobody can really predict whether the two of you will end up back together or not. However, I have to disagree with your assertion that "you need arguments for it to work." If that's your mentality then maybe the arguing that occurred between the two of you was a little more than you're acknowledging. I'm sure he doesn't want to be constantly fighting with you and who can blame him? Especially if his mother and sister fight with him all the time like you say, in which case he's probably had his fill of silly arguing with women and doesn't want to deal with it. Once again I totally sympathize with him. Also if you were as happy with him as you claim then why were you so down about your "best friend"? After all with his friendship and support it really shouldn't have been an issue at all. I think you tend to send out mixed messages, by saying one thing but doing another. That is very bad for relationships. I think you've developed some unhealthy attitudes and beliefs about relationships that you need to address ; otherwise they'll just continue to haunt you.

Some men are just weak and run away. You're around for a reason or just simply a season. I think that you, like me, just moved too quickly with your feelings within that first 8 months. That's all. I don't want my ex back because if he wants to leave an incredible woman like me then he is just plain dumb az hell. Does not mean that I don't miss him sometimes, but he will not get the pleasure of hearing my voice or seeing me pout over it. That's for sure.

I hope that you post again so I know how this worked out! You probably found someone else by now anyways--it's 2009!

My boyfriend excuse me Ex has known each other for about 3years and went out for 1yr and 3months. I was the one that broke up with him because I felt like he was distancing me and he never told me what I was doing wrong so I simply assumed he didn't care anymore so I broke up with him. A few months later it took me some time to realize what I was doing wrong as well as how to be more developed as a person and in a relationship. He was my first for EVERYTHING and even before I knew him his friends called me the one and he wanted to go out with. Soon as we started speaking he cut off any other girl he was speaking to. The relationship was going well until he started college and I guess I didn't understand because I still wanted all his attention but I learned he needs his space. I was his first love and he was mine and I met his family and everything but now my problem is he's in college and whenever he's with me everything is perfect almost like we forgot we even broke up but he doesn't communicate with me and when I try and tell him how I feel its like he doesn't tell me what he thinks of it and then move on leaving me stuck and I knoe he thinks about me but I don't know we've been through a lot and he says he doesn't want anyone else relationship wise or having sex and I just want to know if I'm doing too much to be with him or does he care and if he doesn't then like I don't know how to deal with it because I love him with my life and they say once you really love someone you don't let them go because you may just regret it and I don't want to let him go. I tried calling but he doesn't answer all the time plus he doesn't have time since he is away and on aim I try but I don't know what else to try to get him I mean all his friends say he still cares and he's just scared and he doesn't want to loose me but come on your 19 shouldn't u be able to tell me if you want to be with me or not instead of having me go crazy?

U should post this as a question.

Anyway, I view ignoring my inquiries or requests within a relationship as emotional abuse.