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    unknown624's Avatar
    unknown624 Posts: 111, Reputation: 4
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    #1

    Jun 22, 2008, 03:50 PM
    Sex before marriage
    From what I've heard, you won't go to heaven if you have sex before marriage. My friend and her boyfriend are really close, and she has told me she might have sex with him. They are sixteen, and I'm not sure what to tell her. She also asked me this: "if i have sex with him, will i go to hell?"

    So I guess my question is, will she go to hell, and how do I stop her?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #2

    Jun 22, 2008, 03:57 PM
    Rather than worrying about hell, if I were your friend and her boyfriend, I would worry about life on earth. Sex produces babies. Your friend is very young and very unprepared to be a mother, just like her boyfriend is not at all ready to support a family. Both need more schooling and maturity and just having fun and freedom before thoughts of babies dominate their lives. And another thought is that, once they give away their virginity, it's gone. Poof! It's unlikely they will marry each other someday. Why not save that precious gift for that special person?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #3

    Jun 22, 2008, 04:01 PM
    While I am not saying it is okay with God to have sex before marriage I don't see it as a simple you messed up by *sinning* so you are going to hell. God knows we are human and he knows are short comings and our faults. I believe it is more a matter of your heart and desire to please God and work toward being right with him. Basically it is not a black and white cut and dry thing. We are not suppose to just give into sin and then repent like it is nothing but we need to strive toward doing right. It is best she tries to find the inner strength to not but God isn't waiting to strike a person into hell for what they do either.
    confused1145's Avatar
    confused1145 Posts: 176, Reputation: 17
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    #4

    Jun 22, 2008, 04:04 PM
    I don't think that it's a good idea for her to have sex, but there's nothing you can say or do to stop her if she has her mind made up. It says in the bible no sex before marriage, but you can repent of your sins. Not saying that it is okay because sin is never okay, but there's only one true judge. Sex is soomething big, not just something to jump into. There could be a lot of consequences other than hell, diseases or pregnancy.
    unknown624's Avatar
    unknown624 Posts: 111, Reputation: 4
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    #5

    Jun 22, 2008, 05:00 PM
    OK thanks so much. Because I know that she told me they were going to use condoms. I think I will tell her that God won't send you to hell, but you should save it for that special one when you get married.
    sndbay's Avatar
    sndbay Posts: 1,447, Reputation: 62
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    #6

    Jun 23, 2008, 07:31 AM
    Sex was intended to be a beautiful joining of two, in confirmed love for one another. The love can be blessed with a gift of love from God, a baby.
    As we grow up accountability for your actions are important for it is a balance to what leads you in doing right from wrong. As a christian we believe God teaches us to remain pure hearted and love one another. Casual sex can always hurt someone. So your friend should first answer whether she wants to hurt God? Hurt herself? Or hurt someone else?
    In all cases, I would hope her accountability brings the answer to NO... Thus she has her answer to casual sex..
    tadita83's Avatar
    tadita83 Posts: 130, Reputation: 16
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    #7

    Jun 25, 2008, 08:02 PM
    As I have said in previous posts, sex before marriage takes away the specialness of it. My example: consider graduation. We anticipate graduation for many years before it actually arrives. We can't hurry it along, but imagine if people could just graduate from school when they couldn't contain their excitement anymore and couldn't wait any longer, that would take away from the presitigiousness and honor of the graduation ceremony. It wouldn't be special anymore. Sex is a beautiful and wonderful thing to be shared only with ones spouse. That's what makes it special because it is saved for that one special person in your life.

    That being said, do I think the sin of sex before marriage will mark you for hell. Yes and No. Yes, if you have not accepted Jesus as your Savior. No, if you have accepted Jesus as your Savior. (Mind you, your salvation is not an excuse to sin) Your afterlife destination (heaven or hell) is not determined so much as what you do, as what you don't do. Sin is sin, its not ranked by scores of 1-10; 10 being the worst. If you've lied once you have sinned and have earned hell, BUT the great thing is, all you have to do is believe and accept what Jesus did for you on the cross and that sin no longer bounds you to hell. In short, no your friend will not go to hell for having sex before she's married, she will go to hell if she has not accepted Jesus as her Savior (if she is not born again), should she have sex before marriage, no, she shouldn't. It's a sacred thing to be shared with her future husband. She'll be missing out on a beautiful moment she could share with her true love if she gives her most precious gift away to the wrong person.

    Hope this helps.
    lilthechic's Avatar
    lilthechic Posts: 26, Reputation: 0
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    #8

    Jul 10, 2008, 03:51 AM
    the bible clearly states it more than once that all fornicators will go to hell. The answer therefore is simple, if she dies with that sin she is going straight to hell.
    I am not a virgin and I am not married. I had sex when I was about your age and truth be told I have reretted it ever since. It is difficult to stop once you satrt and it has plenty of disadvantages. You could get stds, aids or get pregnant. Since your friend is not ready to have a child she will promptly abort once she gets pregnant. She will mess up her life and rue the day she had sex.
    condoms are 97% reliable but there is a 3% chance it doesn't work.
    her spiritual life will crumble and she will give assess to demons to confuse her and harden her heart.
    when I had sex I became hardened and didn't know my right from wrong. I felt alone and confused but God rescued me and didn't let me die in my sin.
    tell her that God loves her and if the guy she is going out with really loves her he won't even consider having sex with her. She is special in God's eyes and she deserves nothing short of true love. A man who loves you won't want to hurt u and that's what he's going to do to her if he sleeps with her.
    u can't force her not to but just give her your sound advice! At the end of the day its up to her.
    God doenst mess with our free will only the devil does. Sex is wonderful but only when done at the right time. Please remember. If u want to learn from my story then let me know
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #9

    Jul 10, 2008, 06:47 AM
    lilthechic disagrees: don't negotiate with sin. Yes God understands but there is a limited amount of grace

    I wasn't saying otherwise, BUT things DO happen and SHE has no control over her friend.
    I was saying it is not a direct ticket to hell, BUT it is not something to take lightly either.

    I did say '' I am not saying it is okay with God''
    AandZ4ever's Avatar
    AandZ4ever Posts: 151, Reputation: 5
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    #10

    Jul 10, 2008, 12:06 PM
    I'll keep this short and sweet. Your friend might go to hell yes. But god is forgiving. But tell her it will be so much more special if she is married because its more sacred that way. Even if she has to wait years it will probably be worth it. I'm 16 as well and I know I would never partake in that behavior. She needs to worry about stds, babies, and just her overall emotional stress she could gain. If this boyfriend of hers is making her or suggesting sex then he needs to be dumped she is only 16 for god sake. Tell her NO.
    Patriarch's Avatar
    Patriarch Posts: 75, Reputation: 4
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    #11

    Sep 22, 2008, 12:17 AM
    Unfortunately all sinners go to hell. Actually everyone who dies go to hell. Now whether a person stays dead eternally depends on how one has lived life before death. Sex is only for an adult man and woman who are married to each other.
    Life is sacred to God. Sex is sacred also. Life and sex are linked together because sex comes from life and life comes by sex. True sexual intimacy comes from mutual love and affection between married partners and eternally committed to each other only. One is not physically, emotionally, mentally, or financially ready for sex until some time during aduthood.
    I do agree that it can be a challenge to maintain one's sacred virginity when we live in a world that is crazed about sex. We see it everywhere on TV. We hear about it all the time from friends and possibly family. You might even talk or hint or at least think about it daily. It is no wonder it is difficult to remain chaste.
    The key to remaining chaste is to control ones thoughts and thinking about sex so often. Speaking about it also fuels the fire. Listening to others who talk about it does not help. Definitely have a boy or girl friend does very well lead to sex.

    Put your mind on something more worthwhile and beneficial for ones age and for your future benefit. I hope this is something's you can share with your friend.
    tadita83's Avatar
    tadita83 Posts: 130, Reputation: 16
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    #12

    Sep 22, 2008, 01:55 PM
    Patriarch Wrote: Unfortunately all sinners go to hell. Actually everyone who dies go to hell. Now whether a person stays dead eternally depends on how one has lived life before death.


    Where in the world did you read that??????
    kminni01's Avatar
    kminni01 Posts: 36, Reputation: 4
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    #13

    Sep 22, 2008, 02:00 PM

    Well, she's only sixteen so she should try and grow up so fast by having sex with her boyfriend. She's way too young for that and she should risk getting pregnant. I believe that couples shouldn't have sex before marriage, but I don't believe that they will go to hell if they do. From my beliefs, God doesn't send people to hell when they have sinned against him. God is forgiving and if something happens then it happens, but I would not put hell in the picture because of that.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #14

    Sep 22, 2008, 04:23 PM

    If you go to Heaven depends on if you have accepted Christ as your Savior, we are all sinners, the difference is some are saved sinners and others are not. As saved people, we try not to sin, but we all fail at time.

    I would worry at this point of STD, pregnancy and other first hand issues. Their relationship with God will be their own personal issue
    Kati-Katt's Avatar
    Kati-Katt Posts: 77, Reputation: -2
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    #15

    Sep 22, 2008, 04:25 PM

    That is a good question. In the bible if you read it it says that Jesus would always forgive us no matter what, just as long as you really mean your apology when you say it you'll be fine. You will not go to hell, although God does frown upon that and wishes you would listen to him.
    cogs's Avatar
    cogs Posts: 415, Reputation: 27
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    #16

    Sep 22, 2008, 07:50 PM

    It's not worth the heartache at this time in their life. They don't have the coping tools if something goes wrong. Please tell them to wait. I don't think their love of god will stop them, because we live in a secular, liberal society that pushes sex at every angle. The fact that they're thinking of it is a symptom of the depravity of our society. Dare them to be different. Our focus in a christian walk should always be purity first, internally and externally. I'll pray for their purity, cause I think they need our prayers.
    unknown624's Avatar
    unknown624 Posts: 111, Reputation: 4
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    #17

    Sep 22, 2008, 08:13 PM

    Yeahh. I told her that she should wait until she knows her boyfriend is really the right one, and she loves him so much that they could get married.

    However, she interjected me when I was talking to her. She said that her boyfriend had talked to his parents about sex, and they agreed with him that sex is for people that truly love each other. What do I say to that?
    cogs's Avatar
    cogs Posts: 415, Reputation: 27
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    #18

    Sep 22, 2008, 08:20 PM

    If that's all he took away from his discussion about sex with his parents, I think his parents would disagree that this statement would be a go-ahead to have sex. To truly love someone is to put their best interests first, not our own. They barely got a driver's license. They are very young, and sex is a responsibility to another person. Let them ask their parents if they should have sex. The parents are older, more experienced, and can make wiser decisions regarding their children, who are not yet adult.
    Patriarch's Avatar
    Patriarch Posts: 75, Reputation: 4
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    #19

    Sep 24, 2008, 06:51 PM
    Where in the world did you read that??????[/QUOTE]


    Ecclesiastes 3:19, 20 "which befalleth...men befalleth beasts:...as the one dieth, so dieth
    the other" "All go unto one place"
    Ecclesiastes 9:10 ""in the grave, wither thou goest"
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #20

    Sep 24, 2008, 07:17 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Patriarch View Post
    Unfortunately all sinners go to hell. Actually everyone who dies go to hell.
    Ecclesiastes 3:19, 20 "which befalleth...men befalleth beasts:...as the one dieth, so dieth
    the other" "All go unto one place"
    Ecclesiastes 9:10 ""in the grave, wither thou goest"
    How on earth did you get such an interpretation from those verses? That's not what that means at all!

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