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-   -   We are trying for a baby (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=831131)

  • Mar 14, 2017, 10:34 AM
    Honeywhite
    We are trying for a baby
    Hi, I had a abortion in August which I truly regret, that was also my first one and they left excess baby tissue after the produce and I had to end up going to the ER because of that and they made me take some type of medicine to get the rest out . I have regular periods now also . I been trying to get pregnant since October and no luck . Any advice ?
  • Mar 14, 2017, 11:25 AM
    joypulv
    Yes, I have advice:
    1) WAIT a little longer. Your body has to adjust. You don't say what kind of abortion procedure you had.
    2) Get a thorough GYN exam. Tell the doctor about the abortion and the drug you took. A D&C would be more common instead of a drug, I would think, to get leftover tissue out, unless times have changed.
    3) Even the healthiest woman needs to expect that pregnancy can easily take a year, sometimes much more. 'Most' conceive within 1 year, but there are still millions of women who aren't in the main group of 'most.'

    Why are you in such a hurry? Just to find out if you can get pregnant? Not a good reason. Just to make up for the abortion? Worse reason! If you regret it, see a therapist. You don't want to bring a baby into the world with all sorts of emotions brewing in you about the past. That can be damaging emotionally to both of you.
  • Mar 15, 2017, 01:37 AM
    Alty
    I'm sorry, but I don't get it. In August you decide you're not ready for a child, and you have an abortion, and then in October, 2 months later, you decide you're ready and start trying to get pregnant?

    I'm not going to bash you for having an abortion, I think that's every woman's right. But having one and then trying for a baby two months later, that makes no sense at all to me. What changed in those 2 months that you're now suddenly ready to be a mom?

    I think Joy is right, maybe it's time to talk to a therapist because I have a feeling that you're doing this for all the wrong reasons, and you'll probably regret it.

    As for trying for 5 months, that's nothing. It takes the average couple a year to conceive, and that's with tracking ovulation etc. So at 5 months you have nothing to worry about. A fertility specialist wouldn't even book an appointment with you after only 5 months of trying.
  • Mar 15, 2017, 07:19 AM
    DoulaLC
    As was stated, start with a preconception visit to your gynecologist. Learn what to look for and ways to get an idea of when you are most likely to ovulate. If possible, having sex every 2 to 3 days throughout each cycle will cover timing.

    However, timing is only part of it, albeit an obviously crucial part. You and your partner should both make any lifestyle changes that you know would be healthy.

    Also as was stated, be clear of your decision, and then try not to worry too much if it takes awhile... easier said than done when you are trying, but while some women will become pregnant very quickly, it can take a far amount of time and planning for others.

    If you don't become pregnant after a year of actively trying... 6 months if mid 30s or older you might see about additional testing for both you and your partner.

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