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BrittanyW2006 · Jun 8, 2007, 10:01 AM

I have no contact with my child's biological father, but I do know where he lives. I would like for him to give up his parental rights. I'm sure that he would. I mainly would like for him to give up his rights now, because I don't want him changing his mind later on. My baby is now being raised by another man and he will always know him as his dad. I don't think there's a point in him knowing he's not his biological father. & he plans to adopt him when we get married in a couple of years. Anyway, how do I go about getting paperwork or whatever I need to do to terminate the rights of my baby's biological father?

newlablover · Jun 8, 2007, 12:47 PM

I tried this with my daughter and was told by the friend of court that no judge will terminate the rights of a father and leave a child without a dad. My daughters dad hasn't seen her since she was 8 months old and she turned 5 in feb. other than that the only other way that I know of is to marry the guy you are with, and have him adopt your child. This includes having to place an ad in the paper in the classifieds in the court notices for the biological father to come forward and fight it. My daughters older sister went through this (her mom did what I am telling you). As for you saying that your child doesn't need to know about the biological father, I think you are wrong. My boyfriend has been raising my daughter for three years now, but she knows that he is not her real dad. And that her real dad is out there somewhere (I don't know where) and as much as I hate him for leaving her, I will NEVER stop her from finding and getting to know her dad when the time is right. Good Luck in whatever decision you make.

tawnynkids · Jun 8, 2007, 12:48 PM

The Court usually will only agree to a voluntary termination of parental rights if a stepparent is available and willing to adopt and the biological father agrees. Here is some information regarding stepparent adoptions: Stepparent Adoption

BrittanyW2006 · Jun 8, 2007, 01:06 PM

His biological father wants nothing to do with him. He's never seen him. So I don't feel that I'm wrong. I don't think I should put my child through the pain of knowing his father doesn't want anything to do with him. Thank you for the replies and advice.

tawnynkids · Jun 8, 2007, 01:16 PM

If for no other reason medically speaking your son will very likely find out anyway. My sons father wanted nothing to do with him, never has and likely never will but I still told my son the truth. He is not in great pain over it and knows that I have never lied to him. He is 16 by the way. I never told my son that his father didn't want him I told him that he was a man who did not know how to love and that is why he wasn't around. My son knows it has nothing to do with him. What my son does know is that the people who are/were in his life love him dearly and he had someone that was a father to him, so there was no need to fear the truth.

You will do what you think is best, that is your right. I just wanted to share that there are others in your position and there are other options that don't have to cause the harm you fear in your son knowing the truth. Just to be aware of the long term consequences.

newlablover · Jun 8, 2007, 01:24 PM

You have to understand that just because you harbor anger towards the father doesn't mean that the child is going to feel the same way. I guess just look at how many people that were adopted that are trying to find their biological parents. Maybe put yourself in your child's position. How would you like to find out that you were lied to all your life and that the man you always called dad really isn't your dad after all? But I guess ultimately it is your decision. Just food for thought.

nya · Jun 20, 2007, 08:13 PM

You would have to file a petition in family court to have parental rights terminated. If the father is in agreement then you all should have no problem. But if this guy changes his mind, you guys could be in for the fight of your life. You shouldn't make the assumption that because you get married and your husband wants to adopt means that he 'can' adopt. If you get married and the biological father's rights haven't been terminated, he will still have all legal rights to his child.

crowellt71 · Jul 6, 2007, 10:10 AM

Originally Posted by BrittanyW2006

I have no contact with my childs biological father, but I do know where he lives. I would like for him to give up his parental rights. I'm sure that he would. I mainly would like for him to give up his rights now, because I don't want him changing his mind later on. My baby is now being raised by another man and he will always know him as his dad. I don't think there's a point in him knowing he's not his biological father. & he plans to adopt him when we get married in a couple of years. Anyways, how do I go about getting paperwork or whatever I need to do to terminate the rights of my babys biological father?

I do believe you have to be married and your husband is willing to adopt your child at the same time the child's father signs his rights away. That is how it is in the state of PA

s_cianci · Jul 9, 2007, 09:01 PM

Once you are married and your husband is prepared to proceed with the adoption, that'd be the time for the biological father to sign away his rights, by consenting to the adoption.

tashamarie80 · Jul 9, 2007, 09:49 PM

I don't know if I have any really good advice here for you, but I can tell you how my life played out. My mom was 16 when she had me, she does not know who my father is so we never had that problem. A year later she met the man I call my dad and he adopted me, he wanted too very much is what I am told. When he did this he also signed away a son he had to be adopted by another man. My mom and him had 2 sons before they divorced, everything was OK for a few years, I have always known he wasn't my real dad but that's not what matters sometimes. Well when I was 11 my dad was getting remarried to a woman with 5 kids, there was a lot of drama, basically my "dad" felt that he couldn't take care of me as well as his new family so he called me one day and told me pretty bluntly that I should try to find my real dad and he was sure I knew who this was and that he was really the one responsible for the child support. I was still 11 years old. I retaliated and he blamed my mom saying that she was making me say the angry things I said He started telling my brothers things about my mother such as she supposedly left them when they were babies and crud like that so now my brothers will not talk to my mother and refuse to do anything with me that involves her, she has never said a bad word about my "dad" and has always pushed me to have a relationship with him, he tried to make repairs to our relationship a few years ago when he got married for the 4th time, mostly because this woman pushed him to talk to me, but yet it has been these last few years that my youngest brother has decided not to talk to my mom (before that everything was good). I go to family functions on that side for my Grandma and to see my brothers (which is getting increasingly hard as they act more and more selfishly) It doesn't hurt that I do not know my real father because he does not know about me either, mom has offered to figure it out but I do not want to ruin his family, It never hurt that this man I called dad wasn't really my dad. What hurts is that I never asked him to take responsibility for me, I was still a baby, It hurts that all the sudden he could just change his mind when new kids came along, I often wonder if his other son feels that way too, he didn't just give me up, he gave up that boy too. Just be very careful because this man may want your child right now and I am sure you are positive it will last forever, I am sure both my mom and "dad" felt that way too once. It has been almost 15 years since he told me he did not want to be my dad anymore but I am still very angry and depressed. Everyone needs to think long and hard before making these decisions. Good Luck to you